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|Format: DRM Protected ePub|
Vendor: Moody Publishers
Publication Date: 2007
Imagine walking through a maximum security prison and seeing the cell keys hanging inside the cells. By choosing not to forgive, we voluntarily sentence ourselves to diminished, pain-filled lives. Why would anyone do such a thing? Because forgiveness seems an inappropriate response to offense. To experience a broken promise, betrayed confidence, personal rejection, false accusation, injury, or abuse, is to be wounded. Such wounds cry out for justice. But what if justice is not possible? Or if it doesn't undo the damage done? What then? In this concise, quickly-read volume, noted pastor and author Erwin Lutzer carefully illustrates how it is possible to right the wrongs of your life. Whether you've been wronged--or have wronged others--he makes it possible to experience the freedom of forgiveness, and the restoration of a clear conscience.
Lutzer's work contains nine chapters, several of which are "Satan's Mixed Bag of Offensives" (1), "The Blinding Power of an Offense" (2), "From Bitterness to Blessing" (7), "The High Cost of Reconciliation" (8), and "When Reconciliation Fails" (9).
I firmly believe that Christians, especially pastors, can never read enough books on the dynamics of church life. Reading much in this area helps to develop wisdom. There is the ideal standard in the Bible of behavior for God's people, and then there is the reality of how Christians actually act. While not all works published on this topic are equal in benefit and insight, there is usually something helpful to be gleaned from most of them. When You've Been Wronged focuses on the Christian's response to being wronged. The one qualification I believe would have improved the book is if Lutzer would have acknowledged that sometimes people react to perceived wrongs as well. Not every time someone feels they have been wronged is it based on a legitimate offense. Sometimes, because of our pride, we think an offense has been committed against us when in truth no offense has been committed at all. It is our pride that reacts and wants to take offense. Then we respond with anger, bitterness, and sometimes we seek revenge.
Lutzer shows great understanding of how some deal with an offense (or as I mentioned above, a perceived offense). His insight can only be the result of years of ministry experience. He says there are five traits characteristic of the person who is in bondage to an offense. The first is that they are walled in by bitterness (26-27); the second is that they are blind to their own personal faults (27-30); the third is that they search for vengeance (30-34); the fourth is that they are bent on destroying the offending party (34-36); and the final one is that they have given themselves over to idolatry (36-39). There is much good material to be found within these pages, such as when Lutzer talks about how committed the offended is to holding on to the offense: they will make sure "that no one will [be allowed] to challenge his right to deep bitterness and resentment" (27). "[A]ll information that is favorable to him is allowed entry and encouraged; information that will challenge or admonish him will be filtered out. He will spend time with friends who can be trusted to confirm his bitterness, to help justify his feelings" (ibid.). "Facts are skewed, information is twisted, and sometimes reality is ignored in order to justify bitterness and anger" (ibid.). Those caught in the clenches of bitterness against others for offenses may find this book challenging and painful to read. It confronts the root of where such bitterness comes from: pride.
If you are trying to understand your own feelings of bitterness against someone else for what you believe they did against you, or if you are trying to understand the bondage that someone else may be locked in, read When You've Been Wronged. It will be well worth your time.
desire2bcloser5 Stars Out Of 5ExcellentSeptember 23, 2015desire2bcloserQuality: 5Value: 5Meets Expectations: 5This is an excellent book for learning to forgive and also self-examination. I call it my mirror book. Study it in a group or Book club, you'll enjoy it even more!
Brian CurrieVictoria. B.C.Age: 55-65Gender: female5 Stars Out Of 5excellent book & DVD on forgivenessSeptember 17, 2012Brian CurrieVictoria. B.C.Age: 55-65Gender: femaleWe used the DVD at our men's group and found it excellent. Most of the men also purchased a copy of the book.
Fierce52Age: 45-54Gender: female5 Stars Out Of 5June 4, 2012Fierce52Age: 45-54Gender: femaleQuality: 5Value: 5Meets Expectations: 5This is a book for healing. Moving on and not looking back. I highly recommend this book.
lgwamhShoshoni, WYAge: 45-54Gender: female4 Stars Out Of 5This product has been enlighteningSeptember 16, 2011lgwamhShoshoni, WYAge: 45-54Gender: femaleQuality: 4Value: 4Meets Expectations: 4This book is a great book if you are open to looking at yourself and expecting some personal enlightment into why you behave the way that you do
Mark Rockwood5 Stars Out Of 5An excellent resource on forgivenessJune 28, 2011Mark RockwoodQuality: 5Value: 5Meets Expectations: 5This is one of the finest books written on the subject of forgiveness. Dr. Lutzer honestly addresses the pain we suffer when we have been wronged, but also expresses the liberty, hope and peace we find when we turn it all over to God.
I read it and re-read it during a difficult time of power struggle and betrayal in my life, and God brought great victory and peace in my life through His Word and the ministry of this book. I have bought multiple copies and have passed it on to many people who have been hurt, and I have seen God bring healing through it.