1. When to Walk Away, Study Guide
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    When to Walk Away, Study Guide
    Gary L. Thomas
    Zondervan / 2019 / Trade Paperback
    $6.99 Retail: $12.99 Save 46% ($6.00)
    5 Stars Out Of 5 1 Reviews
    Availability: In Stock
    Stock No: WW0110248
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  1. Age: 45-54
    Gender: Male
    5 Stars Out Of 5
    Great Book
    October 3, 2019
    TPetersen
    Age: 45-54
    Gender: Male
    Quality: 5
    Value: 5
    Meets Expectations: 5
    The word and concept of toxic are thrown around too easily, and often as pretext for ignoring the other person or worse - treating the person with toxicity. Gary Thomas writes about the toxic individual - the ones that are not just difficult or or sometimes unpleasant, but the ones who want to hurt others. They consistently cause chaos, are simply against things, seeking to silence others, attempting to stop the other person from doing what the Lord is inviting them to do, and scapegoating. He helps to define the characteristics of a toxic person without demonizing or condoning, but helping those in the grips of the toxic person to recognize the problems. That being toxic might be unconscious, but Gary lists three types: those with a murderous spirit, those with a desire for control, or those who simply love to hate, and any combination of these three. He keeps steering people back to the Christian response - how to ask themselves "What would Jesus NOT do?" He keeps asking the reader "What does your mission require?" not in so many words. He reminds the reader that Jesus walked away, allowed others to walk away, and, at times, He even sent others away. Gary warns against labeling people toxic for everyone else, and invites the reader to properly discern the issue - is it me, the other, or a combination. Instead of engaging in toxic behavior that gains nothing, he invites the reader to walk away, following the model of our Savior. He readily states that the purpose we walk away is to protect our God-given mission of continuing to seek and advancing the Kingdom of God and love others, not self-defense. He encourages to seek counsel and relationships from reliable people - those that will help in the mission - and keep us in healthy relationships. He helps the reader to see how Christ focused on His mission without being swayed by Judas, and encourages us to learn to be hated even as we love and testify to the truth. He writes that there is evil and this evil can turn good things bad, a sad reality that Christians need to understand. He encourages the reader to keep hope for the redemption of the toxic person by the Lord, but to be aware that people may get hurt. He encourages the reader treat the toxic person as if they are healthy, it is perhaps the only way to allow the toxic person to be alone with their behavior, and to call them out and protect others. This is where labeling a person is helpful - not to dismiss the person, but in humiity to understand the problem and to return to the mission. He confronts, head on, the adage of not being Christian when we limit the toxic person's damage "I thought you were Christian" I thought Christians had to forgive" etc. . He addresses toxicity at work, at Church or christian circle, in marriage and family. Gary shares a beautiful story of what can happen if a married couple allow Christ to transform them individually and together. He also addresses the issue of toxic adult children in a way that is balanced and firm without being overly simplistic. Most importantly, though, Gary addresses the issue of being toxic to oneself by focusing on personal imperfections and failures instead of the grace of Jesus Christ, the fact that we are called, chosen, and loved. Most of all, Gary offers the hope that is ours in Jesus Christ that we can all be redeemed.
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