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4 Stars Out Of 5
Great reminder for husbands everywhere
July 10, 2014
Doug Fields has been a pastor to teenagers and ministry leader for over 30 years. He received his MDiv from Fuller Theological Seminary; and for 18 years he was the youth and teaching pastor at Rick Warren's Saddleback Church. He is the author of several books, including this latest, 7 Ways To Be Her Hero.
To be fair, there have been numerous books printed on how to "date your wife" or to "rekindle the flame" in your marriage, so what's one more, right? Why did Doug write this book?
Well, this book is a brief collection of just seven pointers that if most men could remember it would help foster a much better relationship with their wives.
1. Don't say everything you think
Our words tend to be biting and cutting and sometimes it's best to have an edit button.
2. But, say what is powerful.
Reserve your words for words of affection and words that will go far.
Doug writes as one of your buddies that you're sitting down to coffee with, he's the smiling pastor who counsels you and listens. He has a fun voice and tells great stories, but there is an underlying tone of wisdom and truth to his words that you know will go far.
Action 4 is: Go big with small things.
You've always heard it's the little things that count? Well, maybe there's some truth to that. Doug urges his readers to look at their wives and their marriage with new and fresh eyes and to notice the "small things."
Action 5 is: Be liberal with touch
And then Doug adds, "But not THAT way!" I think Men's first idea is to jump straight to heavy petting, making out and sex. But Doug reminds us that women still like to have their hand held, or their forearms stroked while sitting on the couch - again.... look for little gestures.
Ultimately we are to love our wives the way Christ loved the church and that is no small feat. Remember, Jesus died for his bride and so there should be no measure or limit to the distance we as husbands should go for our wives.
Great book - highly recommended! Thank you to Book Look & Thomas Nelson for this preview copy in exchange for a fair and honest review
Even though the book is geared towards men and not women, I found it to be insightful on both sides. Doug Fields really related to what women want in their husbands, and guides men as to why they should seek this kind of connection, and how to do it. His discussions are honest, frank, and sprinkled with a bit of humor in areas.
He does, however, make men out to be a bit "piggish" in his assessments. He focuses in on a man's desire for sex from his wife, and the negative aspects of being a man. He discusses in the early chapters the benefits of some of these attributes such as men's competitive drive, but looses it towards the end when he begins to delve into areas of sexual immorality. He discusses a group of men riding on their bikes, and one man cat-calling a woman who was inappropriately attired. He doesn't make mention that men are visual, that their vision in that context is to be channeled to their wives, etc. It is seen as more humorous in nature as is all sexual references.
While he discusses non-sexual touching, the book is loaded with sexual references throughout. While the purpose is to grab a man's attention, you have to wonder if it is completely necessary to turn a man's attention to sex while knowing that even as he reads his mind is probably flooded with sexual thoughts that he may not be able to do anything about.
Men will like the book. It is very direct, and simple. It reads like a "how to" manual on how to fix/improve your marriage. It identified the issue, and then tells you how to solve it. Women will like it because his assessments are perfectly correct as to what women want in their husbands. It is a very basic book, with very basic information, but very poignant information.
I know, I know. You're all like "why would you read this, you're not a man". I will fully admit, sometimes I'm nosy but we'll call it curious. So, I read it anyways. In this book Fields talks about sneaky women who pick up a copy in order to scope it out. Yep, that's me. But we'll just chalk it all up to curiosity and not being sneaky.
Why do I sometimes enjoy reading books designed for men? I feel it's gives me a little quick glimpse into the mind of a male and his thoughts on marriage. I was happily surprised to see how on target Fields was about relationships. High five! And I'll admit, I did get a few ideas on how to improve my relationship. I would absolutely recommend this book!
This book was provided to me free of charge by Book Look in return for my honest review. The opinions I have expressed are my own.
7 Ways To Be Her Hero is the reason I enjoy reviewing books. Fields has written a witty and insightful self-help Ã¢â¬Ëmanual' intended to act as a guide for men who wish to enhance their marriage.
Yes. I know. I am not a man. I admit my curiosity and I read it anyway. I am one of the "sneaky women" Fields refers to who picked up a copy in order to scope it out. As much as I wanted to see how "on target" the author is when it comes to marriage advice for men, I also hoped to glimpse into the male psyche to glean what's occurring in the "man chatter" these days about marriage so that I may learn how to improve my relationship with my hubby. I was pleasantly surprised on both accounts. Fields is right on target and I walked away with a fun list of ways to improve my relationship.
With a great deal of humour infused, Fields' conversational style is endearing and immediately disarms any potential prickles that could poke the reader by sharing so openly from his own mishaps and experiences over 30 years of marriage.
While 7 Ways To Be Her Hero can certainly be considered a quick read, I'd advise against it. Skimming through will defeat the purpose. The principles and advice shared are relevant for men in any season of marriage (or can be referenced for a genuine refresher).
My only critique is in regard to the formatting for e-reader devices. I use a Kindle Paperwhite and at times I found the formatting choppy and broken, especially around chapter transitions, which I found slightly distracting.
(I received a complimentary copy of this title from the publisher via NetGalley for an honest review.)
This book is completely geared at men, and at that, married men. Too often, even in my own life, we get lost in all of the activities and dad-to-day issues to take the time to really understand what we need to do to be the man that our wives deserve. This book examines this and a number of other issues in a fun, engaging way. I enjoyed how the book was so easy to read and uses humor and practical examples to truly touch my heart and soul and challenge me to become an even better husband in the end. This was a well written, candid, book that will help you take the steps to become a stronger and better husband. All married men should read this, as I know that you will come to enjoy this as much as I did!