Vertical Marriage: The One Secret That Will Change Your MarriageDave Wilson, Ann Wilson, John DriverZondervan / 2019 / Hardcover$17.99 Retail:4.5 Stars Out Of 5 3 Reviews
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Fearless5 Stars Out Of 5vertical MarriageJuly 15, 2019FearlessQuality: 5Value: 5Meets Expectations: 5Well done. The Husband and Wife perspectives add to the understanding that is required to start a Healing process. A good balance of sincerity with a touch of humor to help cope with real marital issues.
Jimmy ReaganLeesville, SCAge: 45-54Gender: male5 Stars Out Of 5Surprising!April 27, 2019Jimmy ReaganLeesville, SCAge: 45-54Gender: maleQuality: 5Value: 5Meets Expectations: 5Since the Christian book market is inundated with marriage books, what makes this book on vertical marriage stand out? The chatter I heard recommended it and I wanted to see for myself. I noticed that Dennis and Barbara Rainey spoke highly of it and even wrote the Foreword, so that was in its favor. The title suggested that the book would help us tie our relationship back to God, so that was a plus. I wasn't familiar with Dave and Ann Wilson, but since Dave was a pastor, I figured I would enjoy it even more. I've read a lot of this kind of books, and though this one covers much familiar territory by its end I felt it made a distinct contribution.
The funny thing is I didn't like this book right away. We often say that books where the authors are transparent are the most helpful, yet I was about to believe I'd finally found the one that was too transparent. This book relates at least 20 of the most notorious arguments these authors ever had with each other during their marriage. They were gory! Once as I was reading, I said out loud: "Dave, you're an idiot". They discussed how they struggled and almost lost their marriage, and at one point I was wanting to divorce them! As the chapters rolled on, the value of this book for me came into focus. It finally hit me that if my arguments with my wife were recorded in such detail as these are, then listeners would quickly interject: "Jimmy, you're an idiot". In some strange way, that really helped me. I could never write a book like this one where the authors were raw on steroids, but apparently the Wilson's have the fortitude to be able to share and help in this special way. They didn't write a theological treatise, but a practical conversation.
Another criticism that vanished by the last page was how little I felt the authors were explaining their premise of vertical marriage. What became clear earlier was that they were giving excellent insights into conflict resolution, the real difficulty of marriage between two sinners, and how to think like your spouse who is so different than you. I can hardly recall a marriage book that so forces you to get inside your spouse's head. That's how those ridiculous arguments given in the book ended up being of great value. As it turns out, they brought their premise of vertical marriage home to us in the last two chapters. It worked. They made their point. It was a point worth being forced to confront.
This is a great book, but you'd better buckle your seatbelt. I'll definitely rate it as a marriage book worth getting from the glutted marriage book market. It stands out among the pack.
I received this book free from the publisher. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission's 16 CFR, Part 255.
The CaptainSpruce Grove, ABAge: 25-34Gender: male4 Stars Out Of 5Vertical Marriage by Dave and Ann Wilson: Book ReviewMarch 18, 2019The CaptainSpruce Grove, ABAge: 25-34Gender: maleQuality: 5Value: 5Meets Expectations: 4"God is not optional, supplemental, or even a helpful puzzle piece to a better marriage. No, God is the very table on which the puzzle rests. He is not a supplement; he is the strength itself."
After the 'I do's, newly weds don't seem to worry too much about the after part. They are excited about being married. Sadly, they might not be adequately prepared for what's coming.
After 5, 10, 25 years of marriage, couples can hit a wall. Things have drastically changed since 'I do', so much that a husband and wife can say 'I don't' and 'I won't' to a marriage.
What can be done to save a marriage from collapse? What magic can we cast over our most important relationship to keep it strong, whether we are at the start, in the middle, or staring at the end?
Marriage didn't look rosy all the time for Dave and Ann Wilson; at one point, they didn't have feelings for one another anymore. If they did, they were wholly negative. But that wasn't the end of their story, or the end of their marriage. They went vertical, and things turned around.
Vertical Marriage is their journey through marriage, the good, the bad, the ugly, and everything in between. Vertical Marriage gives answer to questions that the Wilson's have answered for thousands of couples the country over; how to deal with conflict in marriage, how to deal with lust, how to deal with sex, how to deal with discouragement and encouragement, and more.
Vertical Marriage is the instructive and insightful story of two people that realized that their marriage was doomed unless God became everything. Not just for each other, but the foundation of their relationship.
Follow Dave and Ann as they share hilarious stories and powerful insights from their own lives about being married, and see how going vertical, going to God will change your most important human relationship.
"...the secret to a great marriage is to go 'vertical', inviting God into your worst conflict and unsolvable dilemmas."
Making God the centre of your marriage is not a new idea. Many others have said the same thing before. But how Dave and Ann say it is what makes Vertical Marriage such a unique book.
The proof is in the pudding, and there is a lot of pudding.
Hearing about how their marriage was in shambles (whether they knew it or not) and going vertical was the only thing that saved it, it's amazing. To have a couple walk through how badly they lived as a married couple, to hear them tell you how God saved everything; Sometimes we need less instruction and more inspiration.
Vertical Marriage will certainly inspire. There is hope for the marriage that is broken. There is a better way forward for the marriage that is struggling. It is through God, and God alone.
I like that Dave and Ann make it clear that there is a work for husbands and wives to do, but that God is the source of strength and inspiration to do the work.
Yes, we need to understand the ways in which we deal with conflict, but understand, God is the one that brings strength to work through the issues, to heal from the issues, and move forward from there.
There is instruction, like how Dave worked and is working with his sin, which is awesome. Not that he is struggling with sin, but there is no illusion that Dave and Ann have fixed and solved everything. They are still people, broken and sinful like the rest of us. That is refreshing.
The instructions are practical, things that Dave and Ann are using in their lives, and things we can do in ours. Not everyone will need the same help, and not everything will work for everyone, but it is great to have practical, used suggestions to work towards a better Vertical Marriage.
Vertical Marriage doesn't cover every topic that may occur in your marriage. Not everything is talked about. That may be the only issue that I have with this book. Granted, Dave and Ann never said this was a catch-all book about how to fix/save a marriage, but I think would have liked to see more topics covered.
"...the only way the 'horizontal' human relationship between a husband and a wife could work was if my 'vertical' relationship with [God] was made right."
There are a lot of marriage books out there. Some good, some not as good. One thing that sets Vertical Marriage apart is its relentless drive, the push chapter after chapter: you need God as the foundation of your life and your marriage, or both will crumble.
Not a new truth, but one that needs to be driven home time and time again. Dave and Ann have lived it out, told us how it looks within marriage and encouraged readers to do the same. This Vertical Marriage advise is worth taking.
I give Vertical Marriage by Dave and Ann Wilson a solid 4 out of 5 stars.
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