Never Unfriended: The Secret to Finding and Keeping Lasting Friendships
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Never Unfriended: The Secret to Finding and Keeping Lasting Friendships

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Product Description

In a world where women can unfriend each other with the swipe of a finger, how do we find friendships that we can trust to last? The truth is that everyone is on the outside of something, but everyone is also on the 'inside" of something. Starting with the guarantee from the most faithful Friend who ever lived - Jesus - Lisa-Jo Baker's [community manager at (in)courage] step-by-step guide features personal stories and practical tips to help you engage in relationships that will stand the test of time.

Noteworthy: This author is one of a special group of women who writes for (in)courage, the popular online friendship community. Every day they take turns pulling up a chair to share their stories of what Jesus looks like in their every day, gloriously ordinary, and often messy lives.

If you read the (in)courage blog online, then you'll be sure to enjoy this title.

Product Information

Format: Paperback
Number of Pages: 208
Vendor: B&H Books
Publication Date: 2017
Dimensions: 8.50 X 5.50 X 0.32 (inches)
ISBN: 1433643065
ISBN-13: 9781433643064

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Publisher's Description

In a world where women can unfriend each other with the swipe of a finger, how do we find friendships that we can trust to last? Maybe by first becoming those kinds of lasting friends ourselves.

As the community manager at the website incourage.me since 2010, Lisa-Jo Baker has had the chance to engage hundreds of conversations with women about friendship. She’s learned that no one can make us quite as unsure about ourselves as another woman. And nothing can wound as deeply as unkind words from a friend. While we are all hungry for friendship, it’s the fear of feeling awkward and being rejected, left out, or hurt (again) that often keep us from connecting.

But what if we knew we could never be unfriended? Would we risk friendship then? 

Starting with that guarantee from the most faithful friend who ever lived—Jesus—this book is a step-by-step guide to friendships you can trust. It answers the questions that lurk under the surface of every friendship—What are we afraid of? What can’t we change? What can we change? And where do we start?—with personal stories and practical tips to help you make the friends, and be the friend, that lasts.

Author Bio

Lisa-Jo Baker has been the community manager for www.incourage.me, an online home for women all over the world, for nearly a decade. She is also the author of Surprised by Motherhood, and her writings have been syndicated from New Zealand to New York. She lives just outside Washington, DC, with her husband and their three very loud kids, where she connects, encourages and champions women in person and through her popular blog, lisajobaker.com.
 

At (in)courage you are welcome to a place of faith, connection and friendship, where you will always find yourself among friends. Founded in 2009 by DaySpring, the Christian products subsidiary of Hallmark Cards, Inc., the vision for (in)courage was to create a new home for the hearts of women, where women take turns pulling up a chair to share their stories of what Jesus looks like in their everyday, gloriously ordinary, and often messy lives. Since then, (in)courage has grown into a vibrant community that reaches thousands of women every day, welcoming them just the way they are, offering a space to breathe, loving support, and resources for meaningful connection.

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  1. Laura Hilton
    Horseshoe Bend, AR
    Age: 45-54
    Gender: female
    3 Stars Out Of 5
    Never Unfriended
    May 31, 2017
    Laura Hilton
    Horseshoe Bend, AR
    Age: 45-54
    Gender: female
    Quality: 3
    Value: 3
    Meets Expectations: 3
    NEVER UNFRIENDED: The Secret to Finding and Keeping Lasting Friendships is for every woman who has ever over-analyzed their relationship with women (and who among us hasn't?) We've mined our conversations, rehashing every detail to decide if we were wrong or if they were, if we need to apologize or they do. And why aren't I included in everything? Am I in the circle or out?

    This book addresses many issues involved in friendship, from the fear of being hurt, o the fear of missing out, and the fear of being the new girl...

    It also talks about what we can't do about it, what we can do about it, and where do you start?

    My only issue in the book is that it seems to be a lot of tooting Ms. Baker's horn about what a great friend she is. . .

    See someone you want to be friends with, but not sure how? This book will help you. An old friendship that died, this book will help you. And then there are all the nuances of friendship-- neighbors, church members, coworkers, etc that are somewhat friends, though maybe not necessarily close. And if you find yourself analyzing conversations this book is for you. Definitely timely, encouraging, and recommended for women of all ages. I was provided a free copy of this book. All opinions are my own.

  2. AmyL
    4 Stars Out Of 5
    Never Unfriended
    May 2, 2017
    AmyL
    Quality: 5
    Value: 4
    Meets Expectations: 4
    I picked up Never Unfriended by Lisa-Jo Baker. I had heard Baker talk about her book on a few podcasts and decided I needed to actually dig into what her book said.

    The title was a really big stumbling block for me. Baker's premise is that we should not unfriend those in our lives when things get hard. And her point is that just because it is so easy to unfriend someone on social media does not mean that's the way we should be treating our friendships in real life.

    I decided to set aside my preconceived notions about the title and read this book.

    Never Unfriended is broken up into four parts:

    1. What are We Afraid Of?

    2. What Can't We Do About It?

    3. What Can We Do About It?

    4. Where Do We Start?

    The first part was probably the most beneficial for me. As Baker breaks down the problem with friendship, she addresses the way we bring our brokenness from old friendships into every new friendship. And how that actually harms the friendships we try to build in new arenas because we can't separate the old hurt from the new person.

    Baker continues to develop healthy, biblical ways to build friendships. I often found myself frustrated with the last three parts of the book. Not because she wasn't speaking truth, but because the type of friendship she is describing in this book is something I don't know that I've ever been able to experience in my life.

    Towards the end of the book, Baker asserts that we have to stop desiring to be part of the "in crowd" because there is always someone on the outside of some group. While I agree with the general premise, I do believe that some people actually have a harder time fitting into any group, and that makes the desire to be a part of a group not unhealthy.

    I don't think that it was Baker's intention to shame anyone who struggles with friendship, but I occasionally felt overwhelmed with all of the things that Baker asserts are required for friendship. As I was processing parts of the book with a friend, I made the exasperated comment that friendship like this only works when the other person is willing to dive in too.

    I think that Baker hopes women will remember to keep asking, keep inviting, keep inserting themselves into others lives. As I realistically consider this, especially having experienced being the "new person" fairly recently, it's not always possible to always be the one asking. Sometimes it takes someone already established to do some reaching out. I wish that Baker would have addressed the exhaustion that can come from feeling like you always are the one reaching out without having much of that reciprocated.

    I received a copy of this book from NetGalley and B&H Books. This review is my own, honest opinion.
  3. bookwomanjoan
    Oak Harbor, WA
    Age: 55-65
    Gender: female
    4 Stars Out Of 5
    Encouragement to be a true friend
    April 15, 2017
    bookwomanjoan
    Oak Harbor, WA
    Age: 55-65
    Gender: female
    Quality: 4
    Value: 4
    Meets Expectations: 4
    In this era of social media "friends," Baker calls us back to biblical friendship, to being a neighbor like the Samaritan. She encourages us to concentrate on being a friend rather than trying to get friends.

    The book has several parts and they do not have to be read in order. The first part of the book deals with our fears, like the fear of being hurt (again). She helps us understand our relationship baggage and the need for forgiveness. The second part deals with aspects of a friendship over which we have no control and cannot fix. The next part relates what we can do about friendships and lastly, how to initiate them.

    Baker includes great examples and stories to illustrate her principles. One that comes to mind was when she started a Bible study after being in a new church for a while. The women who came? Some had no close friends, even though they had been attending the church for years. Others felt useless and lonely. Baker was shocked. Wow, what a lesson on the opportunities we might be missing in facilitating friendships.

    This is an encouraging book but it is also very realistic. Baker reminds us that we cannot successfully establish friendships in our image, exactly as we'd like them to be. We must accept others as they are, not trying to make them into our preconceived idea of a friend. Baker also tells us that we are not going to get all our needs met by our friends and disaster may result if we try. I really liked the sections on being willing to be imperfect and the importance of just being there in times of need.

    I recommend this book to those who are ready to embrace the cost of true friendship. As Baker reminds us, the reward can be priceless.

    I received a complimentary copy of this book through Icon Media. My comments are an independent and honest review.
  4. Karey
    5 Stars Out Of 5
    Great Book
    April 5, 2017
    Karey
    Quality: 0
    Value: 0
    Meets Expectations: 0
    This book is a wonderful read that speaks to the heart and gives solid, Godly wisdom on women's friendships.
  5. Corena
    5 Stars Out Of 5
    Loving equals friendship in all relationships
    April 4, 2017
    Corena
    Quality: 0
    Value: 0
    Meets Expectations: 0
    A book well worth reading even if it rehashes memories of failed relationships. Remembering that Jesus gave His life to secure back intimacy of mans relationship with God is so apprporiate even as we enter into Spring and remember the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. So use this simply written but profound book to strengthen yourself to love like Jesus did. #neverunfriended. Thank you Lisa-Jo for allowing me to be a part of your launch team!
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