Unconditional Parenting: Moving from Rewards and Punishments to Love and Reason
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Simon & Schuster / 2006 / Paperback
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Unconditional Parenting: Moving from Rewards and Punishments to Love and Reason

Simon & Schuster / 2006 / Paperback

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Stock No: WW87486


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Product Description

In Unconditional Parenting, educator Alfie Kohn challenges the traditional parenting role that he claims leads children to believe they must earn approval rahter than being loved unconditionally. He encourages parents to examine the way they think about, feel about, and act with their children. He offers practical strategies for shifting from a "doing to" parent to a "working wit" parent. Paperback.

Product Information

Format: Paperback
Number of Pages: 272
Vendor: Simon & Schuster
Publication Date: 2006
Dimensions: 8.44 X 5.50 (inches)
ISBN: 0743487486
ISBN-13: 9780743487481

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Publisher's Description

Most parenting guides begin with the question “How can we get kids to do what they're told?” and then proceed to offer various techniques for controlling them. In this truly groundbreaking book, nationally respected educator Alfie Kohn begins instead by asking, “What do kids need—and how can we meet those needs?” What follows from that question are ideas for working with children rather than doing things to them.

One basic need all children have, Kohn argues, is to be loved unconditionally, to know that they will be accepted even if they screw up or fall short. Yet conventional approaches to parenting such as punishments (including “time-outs”), rewards (including positive reinforcement), and other forms of control teach children that they are loved only when they please us or impress us. Kohn cites a body of powerful, and largely unknown, research detailing the damage caused by leading children to believe they must earn our approval. That's precisely the message children derive from common discipline techniques, even though it's not the message most parents intend to send.

More than just another book about discipline, though, Unconditional Parenting addresses the ways parents think about, feel about, and act with their children. It invites them to question their most basic assumptions about raising kids while offering a wealth of practical strategies for shifting from “doing to” to “working with” parenting—including how to replace praise with the unconditional support that children need to grow into healthy, caring, responsible people. This is an eye-opening, paradigm-shattering book that will reconnect readers to their own best instincts and inspire them to become better parents.

Author Bio

Alfie Kohn is the author of nine previous books, including Punished by Rewards and The Schools Our Children Deserve, that have helped to shape the thinking of parents and educators across the country and abroad. He lectures widely and lives (actually) with his family in the Boston area and (virtually) at www.alfiekohn.org.

Editorial Reviews

"Powerful alternatives to help children become their most caring, responsible selves." -- Adele Faber, coauthor of How to Talk So Kids Will Listen . . .

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