Twenty Things Adoptive Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew
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Penguin Random House / 1999 / Paperback
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Twenty Things Adoptive Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew

Penguin Random House / 1999 / Paperback

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Product Description

The voices of adopted children are poignant, questioning. And they tell a familiar story of loss, fear, and hope. This extraordinary book, written by a woman who was adopted herself, gives voice to children's unspoken concerns, and shows adoptive parents how to free their kids from feelings of fear, abandonment, and shame.

Product Information

Format: Paperback
Number of Pages: 272
Vendor: Penguin Random House
Publication Date: 1999
Dimensions: 8.00 X 5.23 X 0.68 (inches)
ISBN: 044050838X
ISBN-13: 9780440508380

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Publisher's Description

"Birthdays may be difficult for me."

"I want you to take the initiative in opening conversations about my birth family."

"When I act out my fears in obnoxious ways, please hang in there with me."

"I am afraid you will abandon me."

The voices of adopted children are poignant, questioning. And they tell a familiar story of loss, fear, and hope. This extraordinary book, written by a woman who was adopted herself, gives voice to children's unspoken concerns, and shows adoptive parents how to free their kids from feelings of fear, abandonment, and shame.

With warmth and candor, Sherrie Eldridge reveals the twenty complex emotional issues you must understand to nurture the child you love--that he must grieve his loss now if he is to receive love fully in the future--that she needs honest information about her birth family no matter how painful the details may be--and that although he may choose to search for his birth family, he will always rely on you to be his parents.

Filled with powerful insights from children, parents, and experts in the field, plus practical strategies and case histories that will ring true for every adoptive family, Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew is an invaluable guide to the complex emotions that take up residence within the heart of the adopted child--and within the adoptive home.

Author Bio

Sherrie Eldridge was adopted herself, and she uses many personal anecdotes to help illustrate the themes of this book. She formed an organization, Jewel Among Jewels Adoption Network, Inc., which helps educate people about the unique needs of the adopted child and publishes a quarterly newsletter, Jewel Among Jewels Adoption News. She lives with her husband in Indianapolis.

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  1. I AM their mother
    Los Angeles, CA
    Age: 35-44
    Gender: female
    3 Stars Out Of 5
    Not for the faint of heart!
    November 19, 2010
    I AM their mother
    Los Angeles, CA
    Age: 35-44
    Gender: female
    Quality: 4
    Value: 4
    Meets Expectations: 2
    This book is well written and has lots of valuable information. However, it is written from the perspective of closed adoption, which creates many of the issues presented in the book. This book presents adoption, overwhelmingly, as an awful experience for children who have been adopted. No joy, no fun, no blessing...just hard. Many I have talked to have similar reactions to this book--too negative. However, I do believe adoptive parents should read this book to be aware of the possible issues that may come up along the way. However, do not put too much stock in this book. May I recommend reading it AFTER adopting?? If you read it prior, it may scare you off and cause you to miss out on 1 of God's greatest blessings!
  2. Laura
    5 Stars Out Of 5
    February 8, 2010
    Laura
    I couldn't put this book down. I read it as we began the process of adopting an older child. Because of this book I was able to secure answers to some of the items the author explained as important for my now adopted daughter. I was also able to have a better understanding of what might be going through her mind now, and as she becomes a teen and beyond. I think it should be required reading!
  3. Robin Ellis
    5 Stars Out Of 5
    February 21, 2004
    Robin Ellis
    I can not recommend this book highly enough! As both an adoptive mother and a trained Christian counselor, I found this book to be VERY easy to read, & VERY compassionate. It is honest without being scary and full of insight. My adoptive daughter, now 16, has also read the book repeatedly. It has provided us with many opportunities for deep discussions. Because of it, she has felt comfortable sharing some of her deepest, most guarded pain. This book should be required reading for all adoptive parents, & for all those considering adopting a child.
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