No one goes into marriage expecting to encounter the bumps in the road or major stumbling blocks to a growing and positive marriage and relationship that inevitably surface later. Those might happen to the "Other guy" but not me! But the reality is that at some point, many or all of the things shared from his [their] own experience in this totally transparent and revealing book will, in some form or other, hit each of us to some degree. This book gives you the advantage of the author's experiences and solutions to many typical and all-to-common problems. More importantly, the topics ["concerns"] in each chapter serve as vital "heads up" and spring boards for discussion with your partner, of some areas you ought to think through seriously before you commit to marriage. If every couple approaching marriage [or even just dating] were to read and discuss this content beforehand, even if they thought it would never apply to them, at least it would allow them to see where they had common [or opposing] thoughts about the everyday things that too often surface and create tension and problems after marriage. For people who might find themselves thinking, "If I had only known....." , [or are surprised to hear that from struggling married friends] this book may be the catalyst for thinking earlier on and realizing, "Man, I'm glad I thought about and found that out before......". A must read for engaged or serious dating couples; and most helpful and hopeful for those already wondering and struggling with why they didn't think about this before they got married, and what to do about it now.

My (now) wife and I read through this together prior to beginning our premarital counseling. It sparked detailed conversations about who we each were and what we were bringing into our pending marriage. Learning these things about each other well in advance truly set us up to be more caring and gracious to each other after the vows were recited. It's infrequent that we encounter a character trait that we weren't both aware and accepting of prior to "I do" as a result of reading this book. I recommend it for dating couples who are getting serious about considering marriage, engaged couples who would like to hedge their success rate, and married couples whether you're experiencing conflicts or not.

I loved the book so much, I read it twice (about to read it again), and bought it for a friend of mine. It was a great guide in helping me decide to end a relationship that was becoming scary and leading violent. This book, and first of all, The Lord, helped me break free before it was too late. Thank you.

I was given a copy of Things I Wish I'd Known Before We Got Married by my pastor . I bought a copy for my daughter and an extra in case I find someone I want to connect with . So I would I really thing it is a great book.

When newly married, Gary Chapman and his wife found their attitudes about everything strikingly at odds, although they shared their Christian faith. Happily-ever-after eluded them. He says many marriages falter before the seven-year mark because of unmet expectations.

He talks about family influences, religious differences, accepting the personality differences in the other person even when the spouse breaks the dishes in the dishwasher. He discusses sex, money styles, children: whether to have them and how to raise them. He covers the unexpected problems that can take the fun out of marriage. He says the "tingles" usually disappear after the first two years. At that point, the couple needs more to keep the marriage going.

He also refers to The 5 Love Languages and The 5 Apology Languages, two books written by him. If you have read those, you will find those chapters repetitive.

Though he and his wife are Christians, he wrote this book for all faiths. Gary Chapman directs Marriage and Family Life Consultants, Inc. People considering marriage can take away much from his professional advice.

Those making a lifetime decision based only on the tingles might discover some nonnegotiables here. For example, a wife may treat the husband as her mother treated her father. If the mother has a trait the husband can't stand, will he hate his wife for the same trait? Is it something she would work to change?

Things I Wish I Had Known Before I Got Married is written by a professional psychologist. Gary Chapman doesn't speak with jargon or three-syllable words, but he does speak like an educated man. It doesn't feel like a conversation at Starbucks.