The Seven Deadly Friendships: How to Heal When Painful Relationships Eat Away at Your JoyMary DeMuthHarvest House Publishers / 2018 / Trade Paperback$3.99 Retail:5 Stars Out Of 5 18 Reviews
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KGS5 Stars Out Of 5Great insightNovember 4, 2018KGSThis book gives insight into so many toxic relationships in my life. It provided a means to heal and learn from relationships that had hurt me for many years. "people injure us, and that injury causes us to doubt the goodness of God" this book allowed me to view the hurt through God's redemptive grace. Thanks Mary!
"I received a free copy of this book and chose to leave a review."
MelissaNorth CarolinaAge: 35-44Gender: Female5 Stars Out Of 5Excellent read!October 31, 2018MelissaNorth CarolinaAge: 35-44Gender: FemaleQuality: 5Value: 5Meets Expectations: 5Have you ever found yourself in the middle of a friendship where something seemed off? Maybe you felt like you were always walking on egg-shells. Maybe you braced yourself for the sales-pitch that you knew was coming. Maybe you always feel inadequate or unhappy after spending time with the individual. Our world is full of relationships and sometimes those relationships are unhealthy.
Seven Deadly Friendships by Mary DeMuth is the first book I've ever read that deals head-on with a variety of unhealthy personalities as they relate to friendships. By the end of this book you will be able to identify toxic friendships in your life and know what to do about them. We can be so afraid of repercussions that we remain in close friendships we shouldn't have any part of. Other times there are relationships we cannot avoid for whatever reason, but if you can identify exactly what is going on you can be prepared and know how best to preserve yourself and others around you.
The best part of this book is that it is steeped in God's Word. I love that the author's goal is to help readers heal from hurt without leaving bitterness behind. Satan's goal is to steal your joy and destroy your healthy relationships. This book will help you see where things are wrong, but will also give you the tools to move forward in a healthy, God-filled way!
The tricky part is identifying which individuals are in your life because you need to deal with the different characters in different ways. I also think it is healthy to assess your own heart and make sure you are not slipping towards any one of these identities. We don't like to see ourselves as the problem causers, but if we as Christians took more time to invest in allowing the Holy Spirit to convict us, He could use us more fully and we may find the relationships around us becoming healthier!
As I read this book I realized the Lord had already been teaching me much of this over the previous year and I personally used this book in a different manner. I quickly was able to identify some of these individuals in my own life. As I read I looked for ways to pray for them. Sometimes we need to remove ourselves from relationships with toxic individuals, but what if that is not fully possible? We should recognize the role of prayer in these relationships. As I read I made a private list of ways to pray for specific people. Although there are times when friendships need to end, none of the relationships I was evaluating were at that point.
I highly recommend this title!
Ralph C-G5 Stars Out Of 5Deadly friendships don't have to defeat you. How to be an overcomer.October 7, 2018Ralph C-GQuality: 5Value: 5Meets Expectations: 5Deadly friendships don't have to defeat you. How to be an overcomer.
1- This book has helped me understand seven deadly friendships based on Proverbs 6:16-19. These are Narcissist Nolan; Unreliable Uma; Predator Paige; Conman Connor; Tempter Trevor; Faker Fiona and Dramatic Drake.
2-I have been given ways to recognise when a friendship is deadly, why I could become entrapped, how to work out the type and how to protect myself.
3- I have been challenged to ask whether I have any of these characteristics and how to deal with them.
4- I was shown Joseph's life of moving into wholeness and then to Jesus who is the complete answer to wholeness. I can learn to escape toxic friendships as I find fulfilment in Jesus, my true friend.
5- Finally Mary shares seven principles of personal REVIVAL: Review your past;
Embrace new healing; Verify your expectations; Invert their behavior; Vocalize your journey; Assess current relationships; and Live life forward.
Ways to enhance this book:
1- I think the second half of the book should be expanded. The negative first part is 70% of the book and the positive second part only 30%. The most important chapters are the last, that tell how Jesus can heal us.
2-There are very long lists of characteristics. I think it would work better is for each deadly friend to have between five and ten key characteristics. This would also shorten the main text and enhance the flow.
Some quotes I enjoyed:
"If I have settled my worth in the embrace of Jesus, I will want to treat myself kindly, which translates into the relationships I pursue." (p 174)
"Your relational pain is the means for Jesus to do his best work in and through you. It's not a detriment or a demerit; it's the means by which Jesus empowers you." (p 170)
"Spiritual growth is less about being perfect and more about your dependence on God in your stops and starts." (p 194)
Overall, I think this book is a valuable resource. It is not academic but is drawn from Mary's raw experience. She invites you and me to take that journey with her into wholeness and to find that friend who is closer than a brother.
I received a copy for review from the publisher. These are my own opinions.
MichelW5 Stars Out Of 5Read this book! Not discussed in today's Christian world!October 5, 2018MichelWQuality: 5Value: 5Meets Expectations: 5This book is amazing. It gives permission to discuss and maybe even end painful friendships, which is rare in the Christian world. We live somewhere in the tension between "loving your neighbor as yourself" (Mark 12:31) and "there will be terrible times in the last days. People will be lovers of themselves...boastful...proud...abusive...without love...slanderous...have nothing to do with these people" (2 Tim 3:1-5). Mary does an amazing job of describing various toxic friendships as well as how to let go, heal, forgive, and even find reconciliation. By the end of this book, I better understood my role and how to move forward.
C Segars5 Stars Out Of 5Wish I had read this book 25 years agoOctober 3, 2018C SegarsQuality: 5Value: 5Meets Expectations: 5DeMuth is one of those rare writers who paints a picture in such heartbreaking detail that you feel like you were there. And in a way, you were, because then you realize that something very similar happened to you. The Seven Deadly Friendships is a fascinating read chocked full of vivid relationship struggles and detailed descriptions of each destructive personality type. I gobbled up some sections lickety-split, and then, surprisingly, I slowed to a snail's pace when all this sediment rose to the surface. I have relationship baggage and I didn't know it. Thankfully, DeMuth supplies all the Scriptural advice on how to heal, but she doesn't stop there. She encourages the reader to fully examine his or her own friendship character traits so we can become the friend we hope to find. I am certain that I won't be the only woman to say I wish that I had read this book 25 years ago. I can't wait to pass this on to my kids. I chose to leave this review after receiving a free copy of this book, and I'm so glad that I did. Because I didn't know that I needed it.