1. Sacred Privilege: Your Life and Ministry as a Pastor's Wife
    Kay Warren
    Covent Books / 2018 / Trade Paperback
    Our Price$15.29 Retail Price$17.00 Save 10% ($1.71)
    4.4 out of 5 stars for Sacred Privilege: Your Life and Ministry as a Pastor's Wife. View reviews of this product. 7 Reviews
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  1. Michele Morin
    Warren, Maine
    Age: 45-54
    Gender: female
    5 Stars Out Of 5
    Women in Ministry: What God Want You to Know
    June 6, 2017
    Michele Morin
    Warren, Maine
    Age: 45-54
    Gender: female
    Quality: 5
    Value: 5
    Meets Expectations: 5
    We were greeted with warm handshakes and pleasantries, an outline of the morning service, and then a startling announcement: We assumed that your wife would want to take the children. In the early days of our marriage when my husband was the area director of a childrens ministry, I used to travel with him to his weekend engagements. However, in those days, I had a full-time job, no children yet, and no I did not carry a Bible lesson around in my back pocket. (Given the same situation today? Id probably go for it! Why not?)

    Ministry wives are often subject to assumptions and misconceptions, and it is with this audience in mind that Kay Warren has written Sacred Privilege. However, her words are relevant to all women in ministry, with or without husbands. She writes from the perspective of a life-long church girl, the daughter of a pastor, wife to Rick Warren of Saddleback Church and Purpose Driven Life fame, and also as the mother to a pastors wife. The book is a distillation of wisdom gained from an entire life lived in the fish bowl of ministry not from the viewpoint of perfect wife, but as messenger and strong survivor, as one who has taken strength from God for a very specific calling and now wants to pass that encouragement on to others who share that call.

    If you are a woman in ministry, heres what God wants you to know:

    1. You need to embrace your own story all of it for the glory of God and the good of His kingdom. (31)

    Kays story includes a brush with a porn addition and a rocky start to her marriage. It includes a struggle with depression and the mental illness and ultimate suicide of her son. She assesses this terrain and concludes that the life she has lived is the exact price required for becoming who she is today.

    2. There is no greater heritage than for children to see that ministry is not just for dads but also for moms and brothers and sisters. (50)

    Sharing a ministry focus as a couple and also as a family protects everyone from resentment and eases the claustrophobia of the glass house that can plague ministry families. Kay defines thriving over the long haul as the ability to share a God-given dream and points to Ephesians 2:10 to affirm that God is the architect of that dream.

    3. Success in ministry is not about numerical results or recognition but about thriving, flourishing, and growing strong in ones calling and in ones character. (58)

    This does not mean that women in ministry will meet everyones expectations. On the flip side, it also does not mean that we will always be free to do the thing we love the most. When it comes to defining success in ministry, the most important voice in the room is Gods.

    4. You have a story that is worth telling. (125)

    Sharing Gods redemption process in your life is risky because your weaknesses come out of hiding. However, in the process, others are drawn into the Light, and true friendships can be formed that will endure for the long haul. Life in community knowing others and being known is so much safer and more comfortable than life on a pedestal.

    5. No one will take care of you but you. (139)

    That sounds cynical, doesnt it? And its not to say that God, your husband, and/or your loving church family are all out to exploit you and suck you dry, but there are some aspects of self-care that are completely in your court: eating, sleeping, and moving every day are your responsibility. My favorite of Kays aphorisms applies here:

    Control the controllable and leave the uncontrollable to God.

    Nourishing the inner life and stepping away from ministry for Sabbath rest may require some adjusting. Cultivating this flexibility is a discipline that is well worth it in the end.

    6. Accept the loss of privacy with Gods grace. (180)

    Gail MacDonald and Edith Schaeffer have blazed a gracious trail for ministry wives (and all women) with their writing, and Edith is eloquently accurate on this subject of boundaries:

    A family is a door that has hinges and a lock. The hinges should be well-oiled to swing the door open during certain times, but the lock should be firm enough to let people know that the family needs to be alone part of the time, just to be a family. (183)

    7. Live with transparency and work hard to do what is right in the sight of God and others. (194)

    Because ministry is a sacred privilege, God-honoring integrity is key, particularly in the crucial areas of sex, money, and power. Kay and her husband maintain a warnings file with details about well-known pastors who have left the ministry because of moral failure just to remind them of their own vulnerability.

    8. Maintain an eternal perspective.

    Practicing radical forgiveness will make the battle scars earned in church conflict more bearable and will even speed healing! Franois Fnelon offers wise counsel:

    Dont be so upset when things are said about you. Let the world talk; just seek to do the will of God. You will never be able to entirely satisfy people and it isnt worth the painful effort. (215)

    The shared dreams and plans, the sacrifices and the adjustments required of women in ministry can be viewed alongside Pauls metaphor of the Christian life as a race. We run toward a finish line that is difficult to see, and the noise of the crowd whether cheering or jeering can be a distraction. Making it our aim to please God is the mindset that will foster self-acceptance, a thriving family, and the ability to live out Gods calling on our lives with integrity and joy.

    //

    This book was provided by Revell, a division of Baker Publishing Group, in exchange for my review. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commissions 16 CFR, Part 255 : Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.
  2. AmyL
    5 Stars Out Of 5
    Sacred Privilege
    May 29, 2017
    AmyL
    Quality: 5
    Value: 5
    Meets Expectations: 5
    Sacred Privilege: Your Life and Ministry as a Pastor's Wife speaks the freedom to lead your family your way. To learn how to come alongside your husband as you begin to share the dream of a pastoring at a church. And to help care for yourself and your family while still living the dream.

    I'm glad I'm reading this book while Eric is in seminary. In fact, it's something I think anyone involved in ministry would benefit from. Warren reminds us how to build our friendship boundaries. How to keep perspective when others think you are parenting incorrectly. (side note: I totally don't believe there is a perfect way to parent. We all get something wrong somewhere along the way!) How to build those boundaries, share what is pertinent without doing damage to yourself, your family and immediate relationships.

    Whether I always keep it in mind or remember it, I have been given a sacred privilege. Whether or not Eric ever becomes a pastor, I know I will be a better wife because of reading this book. It's helped me to consider how I approach things through the blog as a whole.

    I received a copy of this book from Revell books. This review is my own, honest opinion.
  3. Janet
    Belton, TX
    Age: 45-54
    Gender: Female
    5 Stars Out Of 5
    Encouraging and Insightful
    May 26, 2017
    Janet
    Belton, TX
    Age: 45-54
    Gender: Female
    Quality: 5
    Value: 5
    Meets Expectations: 5
    Kay Warren's new book is written especially for ministry wives, and I found it a privilege to read. Within its pages Warren shares her life stories, stories of childhood, marriage, motherhood, friendship, and ministry, along with all the wisdom she's gleaned. She's as honest as she needs to be in order to make her points to encourage and bless fellow ministry wives.

    Chapters cover all the essentials: sharing the dream with your spouse, accepting who you are, adapting to change, helping your children in their unique role, conflict, privacy, friendship, your personal spiritual growth, and more. I especially appreciated her personal testimony presented in stages throughout the book; it reminded me I'm not the only one facing some of these challenges and gave me fresh ideas for handling them well.

    I recommend Sacred Privilege to all ministry wives and thank Revell for sending me a complimentary copy in exchange for this honest review.
  4. debs
    Maine
    Age: 35-44
    Gender: female
    5 Stars Out Of 5
    Sacred Privilege ~ Kay Warren
    May 14, 2017
    debs
    Maine
    Age: 35-44
    Gender: female
    Quality: 5
    Value: 5
    Meets Expectations: 5
    Kay is the co-founder of Saddleback Church, a pastor's wife and very passionate at sharing for GOD's Ministry. She opens her heart and shares about everything in today's world as being a pastor's wife. Kay writes as she is talking to her best friend. This book is written for pastor's wives, however, anyone can enjoy it. I am not a pastor's wife and I enjoyed this from cover to cover and couldn't put it down. Kay shows us that pastor's wives go through the same sadness, heartbreak, depression, cancer, marital problems as anyone else does. Her story shows us that pastors wives are just like anyone else and deal with everyday problems. God doesn't give them any special privileges. HE treats us all the same.

    I would recommend reading this book to anyone, it is a great book that is down to earth and has some really great examples of GOD's work.Kay really tells her story and doesn't hold anything back. Great read that I would read over and over again!!

    Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publisher through Revell. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commissions 16 CFR, Part 255: Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising

  5. ChooseWisely
    Fredericksburg, VA
    Age: 25-34
    Gender: female
    5 Stars Out Of 5
    Excellent!
    May 7, 2017
    ChooseWisely
    Fredericksburg, VA
    Age: 25-34
    Gender: female
    Quality: 5
    Value: 5
    Meets Expectations: 5
    I knew I wanted to read this book the minute I saw the title and the author! Kay Warren is the wife of Rick Warren, Pastor of Saddleback Church. I hold Rick and Kay Warren in high esteem because of the way they live out their lives and the way they have served the Lord in their years of ministry. Reading Sacred Privilege was like sitting with Kay Warren over coffee and asking her all of my burning questions about her life as a pastor's wife. Fourteen years ago I married a pastor and I always appreciate wise counsel from a woman who has walked the road I am on and done so with grace.

    This book is for wives of pastors of all distinctions. Kay Warren does not just write for the lead pastor's wife, but to all pastor's wives. She has amazing wisdom to share! I enjoyed the entire book, but I had a few take aways that I will remember forever.

    From Chapter 2: My husbands most valuable resource in ministry is me. Above everything else, I am vital to his work in ministry and visa versa.

    From Chapter 6: I should not be afraid to use my own live as an example. My own struggles are meant to encourage others.

    From Chapter 7: I need to nourish my own inner life. Warren uses an illustration from High Call, High Privilege by Gail MacDonald in this chapter. He says, "Untended fires soon die and become a pile of ashes." How true this is! I cannot be of help to anyone if I have allowed my own fire to go out.

    From Chapter 7: I would also like a coffee mug that says Easy Like Sunday Morning.

    From Chapter 9: I should live the same in my private life as I do my public life. So good!

    There is so much good stuff in this book! The five take aways I listed are the ones that really stood out to me. I honestly could have listed ten more. If there is a pastor's wife in your life, consider getting this book for her. It would make a lovely mother's day gift! I was given my copy by the publisher. I am passing it on to another pastor's wife because I think it is that well written. Sacred Privilege is easily five stars! Kay Warren, thank you for barring your soul for all of us pastor's wives. We so appreciate the encouragement, wisdom, advice, and love you put into every chapter.
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