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|Format: DRM Free ePub|
Vendor: Kregel Publications
Publication Date: 2013
Related by Chance, Family by Choice: Transforming Mother-in-Law and Daughter-in-Law RelationshipsDeborah DeArmondKregel Publications / 2013 / Trade Paperback$10.99 Retail:4.5 Stars Out Of 5 3 Reviews
$14.99Save 27% ($4.00)
The caricatures are everywhere, the jokes are inexhaustible, and the stereotypes fill the screens. From Marie Barone (Everyone Loves Raymond) to Viola Fields (Monster-in-Law) to Internet sites and social media pages like ihatemyinlaws.com and a Facebook page for ihatemymotherinlaw there is no shortage of examples of the caustic relationships that can develop between the two women in a man’s life.
Deb DeArmond and her three daughters-in-law have conducted their own exhaustive research into the status of the women-in-law relationship. Their research, which incorporated online surveys, interviews, and discussions, included asking about the faith factor in the relationships they studied. Of the respondents, nearly 90 percent claimed they were Christians, and 79 percent said their faith was foundational and guided their actions and decisions. As discouraging as it may be, the numbers of those they surveyed who reported that their women-in-law relationships were “bad” were nearly identical to those in a survey conducted by a popular secular website that recorded no statistics on faith.
Beyond the statistics and their analysis, Deb brings to this book more than thirty years working with adults to improve communications and deal constructively with conflict. Aside from her research and her professional expertise, perhaps the most important asset Deb brings to this work is her own relationship with her three daughters-in-law that is so obviously and unusually positive that she—and they—are often asked to explain the secret of the relationships they share.
This practical and unapologetically scriptural book covers issues of personal perceptions, strained communication, the roles of sons and fathers in the relationship’s success, how to begin these relationships on the right foot, and the necessity of trust and love. Deb’s one motivating objective is to help womenin- law move from women who are simply related to strong and confident members of a truly spiritual family.
"As a mother-in-law to five daughters-in-law, each with completely unique personalities, this book is a godsend of encouragement. Every mother of a grown son, and every woman who marries a man with a mama, needs this book. So thankful someone had the wisdom and courage to write it!"
---Becky Johnson, Co-Author of We Laugh, We Cry, We Cook
"With godly wisdom, insight, and abundant ideas and tips, Deborah DeArmond equips "women-in-law" who love the same man with all they need to do life together well. Related by Chance, Family by Choice is an excellent resource that I will refer to again and again."
---Twila Belk, Author or co-author of five books, including I Believe in Healing and I Believe in Heaven
"Deborah DeArmond's new book, Related by Chance, Family by Choice teaches how to evaluate "in-law" relationships with Biblical acuity and perceptiveness. You will profoundly benefit from Deborah's keen insight into the scriptures and her down to earth illustrations and practical life applications."
---Laurie Dodds, Speaker and Author
A Word From the Author
"It is possible to have a sound relationship between 'women-in-law,' although it may not be easy," DeArmond asserts. "This book explores how to do it, not in our own strength or ability, but doing it God's way - by walking, not in the law, but in love - and if necessary, He'll loan us some of His. The book provides practical tools and tips coupled with the scriptural foundations to align this relationship with God's word."
Words of Wisdom from the Book
- You are responsible for your behavior. Let God handle the results.
- When God created a woman to walk with Adam in life, He didn't make a mama. He created a wife.
- If blood is thicker than water, are you willing to let the blood of Christ make you family?
- Leaving and cleaving. It's a commandment, not a suggestion.
- A note to boy mamas: He was yours to raise, but never to keep!
- Hey Boy Mama! God never meant for you to be the most important woman in his life. That spot belongs to his wife!
- When we use ourselves as the measuring stick, the whole world comes up short! Celebrate differences! Different is not wrong. It's just different.
- Sometimes God doesn't change your situation because He's trying to change your heart.
bookwomanjoanOak Harbor, WAAge: 55-65Gender: female5 Stars Out Of 5Essential tools for loving in-law relationshipsJanuary 12, 2014bookwomanjoanOak Harbor, WAAge: 55-65Gender: femaleQuality: 5Value: 5Meets Expectations: 5We've heard the jokes about mothers-in-law. Mother-in-law daughter-in-law (MIL DIL) relationships are characteristically difficult. Two women love the same man.
Deb and her three daughters-in-law say the relationship doesn't have to be difficult. It will take work and a heavy dose of God's love.
Deb has done lots of research to understand the MIL DIL relationship. Fewer than half of the women polled said their relationship was good. But 70 percent said they were willing to make the effort to improve the relationship - if they knew how.
If you are part of that 70 percent, this book is for you. Deb shares the tools and skills needed to improve the in-law relationships. She includes many stories from her own life and the lives of others.
She looks at the biblical example of women-in-law and gleans insights from Scripture. She discusses some challenging situations and provides helpful suggestions for resolving the issue. I was impressed with her chapter on communication. She has excellent ideas for dealing with those touchy discussions, such as with which family to have Christmas. I really appreciated her chapter on leaving and cleaving, addressing the potential dependence of children on their parents. She has amazing wisdom and practical tips on that subject.
Each chapter includes an assessment so we can see where we are with respect to the concepts covered in the chapter. She includes a "plan of action" worksheet with questions and ends the chapter with a perceptive prayer.
I am impressed with this book. If you want to establish a loving and respectful relationship with your MIL or DIL but have no idea how to begin, this book is for you. If have a damaged relationship with your MIL or DIL and want to know how to repair it, this book is for you. If you don't have a DIL or MIL yet but are anticipating one in the future, this book is for you.
I received a complimentary copy of this book from the publisher for the purpose of this review.
maryannbNebraskaAge: 45-54Gender: female5 Stars Out Of 5Great toolDecember 26, 2013maryannbNebraskaAge: 45-54Gender: femaleQuality: 5Value: 4Meets Expectations: 5What an amazing book, it is a book about relationships, and that of specifically of the daughter-in-law, mother-in-law relationship.
I really liked the way the author makes us view the relationship; is it law or love? If we look at the relationship from the love aspect_ that is mother-in-love or daughter-in-love, how much easier would that make the relationship?
This is a wonderful book for young women looking to get married, or in a relationship, to help build her relationship to her spouse's mother, and good for mother's to read for help with a relationship with their son's wife, or girlfriend.
I like the format of the book, at the end of every chapter there is a "tip sheet" and a self-assessment for the reader to go through. I think that this book can be read alone, or done in a group, or a mother-in-law to daughter-in-law could go through this together, to bring them closer.
It is written based on scripture, and written according to Titus chapter 2.
Digging4PearlsShippensburg, PAAge: 45-54Gender: female4 Stars Out Of 5Great In-Law BookDecember 2, 2013Digging4PearlsShippensburg, PAAge: 45-54Gender: femaleQuality: 4Value: 4Meets Expectations: 4You may have heard the topic as the brunt of a joke or sitcom situations on TV - the relationship between a mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. Author Deb DeArmond explores the struggles women often face as they transition into these new roles. They have one common bond - a man they both dearly love - one through marriage, and the other through motherhood.
I found this book to be quite insightful as both a daughter-in-law and a fairly recent mother-in-law. Any woman in either of these situations can benefit from reading this insightful book. The reader will find it filled with ways to nurture and improve relationships, while also providing hope and ideas for cultivating restoration from damaged communications too. I highly recommend it.
This book was provided free for review.