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Written for engaged couples, this book is full of tools, tips, and instructions that start a couple on a straight path to a strong marriage. Emphasizing that marriage and family are good, the book integrates the 12 Traits of a Thriving Marriage to help prepare and strengthen marriages from the start. A vital resource for those who mentor engaged couples and for pastors/churches who wish to use it in a premarital counseling program.
|Format: DRM Free ePub|
Vendor: Focus on the Family
Publication Date: 2015
Series: Ready to Wed
Youre engaged, and the checklist for the day of your dreams is a mile long. In the who, what, where, and how of planning, the why can be forgotten.
Ready to Wed discusses 12 Traits of a thriving marriage and offers a variety of topics to guide and advise those preparing to say, I do!
- Define a vision statement unique to your marriage.
- Positively engage conflict to build a foundation of trust and forgiveness.
- Leave and cleave, even if you are a child of divorce.
- Manage expectationsand your in-laws!
- Navigate hot-button issues including, sex and the chore wars.
- Cope with change, stress, and crisisespecially in your first year.
- Build a community of support and find mentors.
- Assess your progress using the Couple Checkup.
Becky5 Stars Out Of 5incredible and informativeAugust 16, 2016BeckyQuality: 5Value: 5Meets Expectations: 5This book was all i wanted and more. It was very informative, enlightening, and full of love. i would highly recommend this to any engaged or about to be engaged couple.
Richard Penn5 Stars Out Of 5Ready to Wed Offers Insight From Relationship ExpertsJune 22, 2016Richard PennQuality: 5Value: 5Meets Expectations: 5Research shows that premarital programs and training drastically improve the probability of marital satisfaction. Unfortunately, common reasons for marrying, like seeking happiness with soul mates, often are inadequate. When spouses disappoint and dont meet each others needs, people may conclude, I married the wrong person. My true soul mate is still out there waiting.
Ready to Wed: 12 Ways to Start a Marriage Youll Love, by Focus on the Familys Greg and Erin Smalley, contains valuable insight from some renowned Christian relationship experts.
In the book, the Smalleys explain: God designed marriagewith its joys and its trials...to help us to grow to be more like Christ. It is not meant to be always pain-free, smooth, and easy. We know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son (Romans 8:28-29a).
Pastor Ted Cunningham explains the pitfalls of prolonged adolescent spouses, who have many privileges, but few responsibilities. They live as selfish singles, placing TV, video games, sports and hobbies above their marriage.
Professor Scott Stanley teaches that dedicated spouses constantly make one another the top priority. They eagerly, mutually sacrifice, and they dream, plan and decide matters together.
Gary Smalley shares that a marriage overflowing with passion, laughter, communication, fun, (and) intimacy requires couples to open their hearts and provide a safe environment for one another. He recommends that spouses tell one another about the positive qualities they admire about one another. They should discuss what makes each of them feel loved, like being interested in each others interests and friends, laughing together, complimenting each others positives and efforts, giving each other undivided time and the benefit of the doubt, initiating intimacy, helping at home and listening attentively.
Author Joe White covers building spiritual intimacy. He endorses reading Scripture and praying while holding hands. He advises couples to ask, Honey, how can I pray for you? He also encourages married couples to be active and serve in a Bible-focused church and small group.
Joshua Straub covers improving communications. Husbands, unlike wives, emphasize the bare facts without emotional connection. Bridging the divide and achieving heart-to-heart communication means becoming vulnerable. He explains the Golden Communication Rule: Understand others as you want to be understood. It means:
Never negatively compare your spouse to others.
Improve the only person you canyourself.
Show empathy and respect.
Share your deepest thoughts, feelings and hopes.
Turn accusations (e.g., You always/never ) into I feel when-comments, like, I feel rejected when youre on your phone during our times together.
Ask your future spouse questions about his or her heart, emotional, spiritual and relational situation.
Express gratitude daily for something about your future spouse.
Experience joy together daily.
Bill and Pam Farrel note that in successful marriages We > Me. Men need to grasp the importance of security for women, and women, the importance of success for men. Men, unlike women, compartmentalize and focus on fixing problems, especially ones they feel good at.
Pastor Reb Bradley explains that romantic chemistry often is just self-centered love. Most people are romantically drawn to those who gratify themI love you for what you do for mefor how you make me feelI need you so much.
God designed marriage for much more than happiness, sex, kids, security, companionship, or even love. Spouses cannot ultimately meet our needs; only Jesus can.
Juli Slattery observes that even pagans love back. Responding in love, only IF we feel like it and all our needs are being met, is actually self-love, not the type of unselfish love outlined in 1 Corinthians 13:4-5: Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking.
Husbands and wives must love not just when it is hard, but especially when it is hard. Spouses must be forgiving, patient, humble, and overcome family challenges. She quotes John Piper saying spouses should give as much sexual satisfaction to each other as possible.
Ready to Wed has great insights on handling conflict, money, relationship skills and personal strengths and expectations. The books writers have given premarital and married Christians a must read library of marital wisdom.
loreallepaAge: 35-44Gender: female5 Stars Out Of 5A Must Read!May 31, 2015loreallepaAge: 35-44Gender: femaleQuality: 5Value: 5Meets Expectations: 5This book is written for engaged couples. It's full of tools, tips, and instructions that start a couple on a straight path to a strong marriage. Emphasizing that marriage and family are good, the book integrates the 12 Traits of a Thriving Marriage to help prepare and strengthen marriages from the start. This would be a great resource for those who counsel engaged couples.
In the book, Gary Smalley discussed the power of honoring our spouse. He said he wrote a list about everything he cherished about his wife and when he was frustrated or mad at his wife, he would pull out his list to remind himself of everything he loved about his wife. How many marriages could be saved by doing that, wow.
I would recommend this life changing book to anyone who is engaged or married! If you're looking to build a solid marriage with Jesus at the center, this is a must read. I really liked how the book had so many different authors who are expects in their field and they have massive knowledge about marriage. So many of us go into marriage blindly, thinking our fairy tale is about to begin. When in all actuality, it's work and sacrifice. Not just once, but time after time. This book will help you be prepared for marriage, and the possible struggles, ahead of time.
Thank you to Tyndale Publishers for a free copy of this book in exchange for my honest and unbiased review.
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