Full of Scripture and challenging to the reader, Pleasing People takes aim at a problem common in all of us: the desire to be liked by others. But the book also wisely delineates when pleasing people is biblical. The penetrating exercises throughout the text will help readers see how this sin manifests itself in their lives. Pleasing People is useful for both personal reading and group study.
Full of Scripture and challenges to the reader, Pleasing People takes aim at a problem common in all of us: the desire to be liked by others. But Priolo is also careful to wisely delineate when pleasing people is biblical. The penetrating exercises throughout the text will help readers see how this sin manifests itself in their lives. Pleasing People will be useful for both personal reading and group study.
Lou Priolo is the founder and president of Competent to Counsel International and an instructor with Birmingham Theological Seminary. He has been a full-time biblical counselor since 1985 and is a fellow of the Association of Certified Biblical Counselors. Lou has been married to his wife, Kim, since 1987 and has two daughters, Sophia and Gabriella.
Pleasing People by Lou Priolo is one of those books that is so great, I wish more were written like it. Taking the issue of pridea serious problem for many Christians, if not alland showing how it manifests itself in the sin of people-pleasing, makes this a tremendous book that should be on the bookshelf of every Christian. Not enough has been written about pride by contemporary authors, which makes this work a real treasure.
The book is smartly divided up into two main sections: Our Problem and God's Solution. Within the first section, the chapters consist of Characteristics of a People Pleaser (pp. 19-36), The Dangers of Being a People-Pleaser (pp. 51-65), and You Can't Please All of the People Even Some of the Time (pp. 83-93). The second section deals with the Characteristics of a God-Pleaser (pp. 127-46), and So What Exactly Does It Take to Please God (pp. 147-64). I particular enjoyed the first chapter because of its People-Pleasing Inventory (pp. 20-21). [note: you can read this in Christian Book Previews.coms excerpt section.]
Priolo asks a key question about mid-way through his book, that keys into the theme that the author answers throughout: "As a Christian, your chief mandate, your number-one priority, your ultimate ambition, your main purpose for living is to please God. What could be more important to you than that?" (p. 127). In his definition of a people-pleaser earlier in the book, he writes that "not only does the people-pleaser love the wrong thing (the approval of man rather than the approval of God), he fears the wrong thing as wellhe fears the disapproval of man more than the disapproval of God" (p. 23). Priolo helps the reader in a couple ways: he defines people-pleasing as it relates to God, and he defines it as it relates to man.
Fearing the rejection of man is often a misplaced fear. As Priolo states, being focused on pleasing people is unrealistic since selfishness distorts their reasoning and causes them to have unreasonable expectations (p. 86). So why "would you trust his [man's] ability to discern your character and determine the basis on which he approves or disapproves of you? Why trust him to determine the standard by which he accepts or rejects you" (p. 87).
On page 135, Priolo helps the reader to gain even more clarity between what the "People-Pleaser" and what the "God-Pleaser" look like, and what motivates each:
To boost his reputation
To be commended
To avoid rejection
To receive honor
To obey God, to show love to God
To glorify God
To show love to others
To worship God
Pleasing People is a well-thought and well-written book. There are no stones left unturned on the issue at hand. If you decide to pick this up be prepared to be challenged. This work deserves high marks. Ray Hammond, Christian Book Previews.com
It is exciting to see Pleasing People come to fruition. I have personally witnessed Lou Priolos expertise in helping those enslaved to the popular lust of approval. From his years of counseling experience, he has developed a work that exposes many of its prideful manifestations, while also walking the reader through the biblical process of repentance from the heart. This is a book that God can use greatly to change lives.
Lou Priolo has written an extremely biblical and practical book to help the people pleaser. Even if you think you do not have this weakness, you may be convicted that you do! The strength of this book are the biblical principles, the charts with wrong compared to right ways to think, and how to become a God pleaser. I am very pleased to have this resource to help people and I highly endorse it.
A careful study of Scripture makes it clear that there are different categories of fear. There is a natural kind of fear which is part of being a human being and is proper and even wholesome; there is, however, a sinful kind of fear that keeps us from obeying Gods commands or causes us to disobey Gods commands or causes us to think and act selfishly; a kind of fear that springs from unbiblical thinking and flows from unbelief in God and His promises. This kind of fear is always a sinful kind of fear. Usually when we think or talk about fear were referring to the kind of fear which is associated with being scared, terrified or frightened; were referring to the kind of fear that causes us to tremble or panic. There is another kind of sinful fear that is mentioned in the Bible which is not quite as dramatic but nevertheless is much more common and much more frequently experienced. Its the kind of fear mentioned in Proverbs 29:25 which is often unrecognized but still very destructive and dangerous. Its the kind of fear that in biblical terms is called the fear of man or what we might call an inordinate desire to please people. In this excellent book, Lou Priolo calls this kind of fear being an approval junkie. In my judgment this kind of fear is epidemic in proportional; its one of the greatest problems we face in our spiritual lives. Lou has done a great job in unmasking the problem and also providing Gods solution to the problem. I commend this book to you for your consideration because of its biblical and extremely practical nature. Buy it, read and reread it and use it in your counseling and teaching.
I read your book on being an approval junkie. I "hated" it it was too convicting! It was very "Baxterian" in its layout and presentation. I plan on using it as a text when I teach for BTS, "Christian Workers' Personal Life."