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|Format: DRM Protected ePub|
Vendor: Moody Publishers
Publication Date: 2006
She has written more than half a dozen books including High Wire Mom and Empowering Choices. She and her husband are co-authors of Do Your Kids a Favor...Love Your Spouse and Journey of a Strong-Willed Child. Kendra has also written numerous magazine articles, contributed to several books, and currently writes a monthly column for Hearts at Home magazine.
Kendra and her husband, John, live in East Lynn, Illinois.
Anne5 Stars Out Of 5Kickstart your parentingApril 9, 2011AnneQuality: 5Value: 5Meets Expectations: 5Let me paint a picture of something that happened somewhere today. A little girl, younger than 3, went to the door to open it. The woman in the room, who was not the little girl's mother, reminded her that she was not allowed to go outside by herself. She looked back at the woman and reached up for the door handle with the look that tells an adult "I'm going to do what I want to do." The woman reminded her not to open the door and that the little girl was not in charge. The father, who happened to be present in the room, replied "Well, she makes the decisions at our house." The father had no compunction or regret in his voice. It was as if a smirk could be detected in his tone. He didn't tell her to wait. He didn't tell her to stop. He didn't even tell her not to open the door. The danger in the situation is that two days ago, this little girl climbed into her parent's car--into the driver's seat when no one knew it. Her older sister followed her with glee and smiled at the angry faces that found them where they were not supposed to be. What if the car had shifted into gear? What if it had rolled backwards into the street? Outside that door was a world where a tiny little girl could easily be run over in the street when the little girl is one who will not listen, but would rather run into the street if she pleases.
I once had a mother say to me that she didn't have the energy to discipline her daughter. My heart hurt deeply with the conviction that we have to do what our children need us to do. We need to be their parents--even if there are times when one parent isn't present for one reason or another. There is no justifiable excuse for us to check out and abdicate our responsibility as our child's parent. There are enough times we get distracted on accident--we need to be careful not to check out on purpose.
We need to be our child's parent. It is important for them and for us.
The week before last, I read this book by Kendra Smiley with input from her husband, John Smiley. Ms. Smiley talks about the seven basic choices that we can make to raise our kids well. On the cover, it actually says "The seven choices you can make to raise great kids." Now, while I actually don't think that we can guarantee that we can raise great kids, we can do the best we can to love them well. That is the point of this book. We need to raise our kids with a vision and goal in mind. I agree with what Ms. Smiley says our goal and vision for our children should be. It should be our desire to a great kid... "someone who loves God, who obeys God, and who glorifies God in what he does." p. 138
The seven choices Ms. Smiley talks about are choosing to be the parent, to be a role model, to be present, to be an encourager, to discipline in love, to allow failure and success, and to pray. This would be a great parenting book for the parents of a little one. It will give them a good balanced view of parenting and what our job as parents is. It really covers all the bases of caring for the spiritual and emotional well being of your child. The What to Expect Series really covers how to care for the physical well being of your child. I would dare say that a child's spiritual and emotional well being are just as important if not often more so.
Ms. Smiley takes a very strong stance that parents are the parents--not the children. It is up to the parents to be do their job and teach, love, and care for their children. Parents need to build a relationship with their children, spend time with them, listen, be genuinely present in their lives, and discipline them. They shouldn't let their children do whatever they want. I believe that Ms. Smiley would have walked up to that dad in the story at the beginning and told him that he is the parent and that his child is the child. A child is not ready to be the parent--if they were, he or she would be the parent instead.
Ms. Smiley has a very straight forward way of writing. It's like reading a book by SuperNanny except with a lot of grace and God's love in the mix. I appreciated her anecdotes and stories. If you feel discouraged and find yourself checking out and wanting to escape from being a parent--this book would give you a good kickstart. Which happens to be what I need today, so I better get off this computer and get to my children!
TJ5 Stars Out Of 5June 23, 2008TJLOVED IT. It helped renew my hope that we can really help our precious, strong-willed children grow into mighty men of God! The book gives a lot of practical advice about being both loving and firm at the same time, and about seeing things with a heavenly perspective. EXCELLENT and practical, as I said. My kids are older, but I think it would be a great MOPS resource, too.
Debbie Campbell4 Stars Out Of 5October 12, 2007Debbie CampbellThis is a very good book with lots of practical advice, most importantly - it's based on scripture!