It's Not Fair: Learning to Love the Life You Didn't Choose
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Zondervan / 2016 / Paperback

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It's Not Fair: Learning to Love the Life You Didn't Choose

Zondervan / 2016 / Paperback

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CBD Stock No: WW342144

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Product Description

Like most of us, Melanie Dale has had her share of disappointments in life. Times when her faith in Jesus and herself stretched to the breaking point due to struggles with depression, chronic pain and infertility. However, rather than dwell on these trials, she decides to laugh at them, because there are times when the only acceptable response to life is hysterical laughter. In It's Not Fair, Melanie shares her quirky and often hilarious views on dealing with the hard stuff. Sprinkled throughout are photos, drawings and stories from other women, who like Melanie, have decided to love the lives they've been given, warts and all.

Product Information

Format: Paperback
Vendor: Zondervan
Publication Date: 2016
Dimensions: 7.17 X 4.71 X 1.04 (inches)
ISBN: 0310342147
ISBN-13: 9780310342144

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Publisher's Description

Hey, you. Are you debating whether to destroy something with your bare hands or curl up on the couch for a decade or two?


This book will solve all of your problems. (Sheesh, that’s aiming a bit high.)


This book is a cup of hot coffee, a ginormous bar of chocolate, or the magical fairy that comes over and does your dishes while you lie in the fetal position clutching a fluffy pillow.


Sometimes when life falls apart the only acceptable response is hysterical laughter. When things get so far gone, so spectacularly a world away from any plans you made or dreams you dreamed, you feel it bubbling up inside of you and you scream, "It’s not fair!" And it isn’t. Fair is an illusion, and life is weird.


This book will help you laugh at life’s absurd backhands. This book is an empathetic groan of our collective unfairnesses. You might want to throw it across the room, and you might want to hug it like your new best friend. This book is about us sitting down together in our shared mess, taking a deep breath, gripping hands, looking the hard stuff in its beady little eyeballs, and bahahahaaing at it.


Life’s not fair, but we can learn to love this life we didn’t choose.

Author Bio

Melanie Dale is a minivan mama and total weirdo who stinks at small talk. Her laugh is a combination honk-snort, and it’s so bad that people have moved away from her in the movie theater. She adores sci-fi and superheroes and is terrified of Pinterest. Author of Women Are Scary: The Totally Awkward Adventure of Finding Mom Friends, she loves speaking, writing for Coffee+Crumbs, and advocating for Children’s HopeChest. Living in the Atlanta area with her husband and three kids, she blogs at



Product Reviews

3.8 Stars Out Of 5
3.8 out of 5
4 out Of 5
(4 out of 5)
4.3 out Of 5
(4.3 out of 5)
Meets Expectations:
4 out Of 5
(4 out of 5)
of customers would recommend this product to a friend.
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  1. 5 Stars Out Of 5
    Its Not Fair by Melanie Dale- read this, lighten your load!
    November 7, 2016
    Quality: 5
    Value: 5
    Meets Expectations: 5
    We are all in this life together. And at times, life is rotten. Melanie does a great job of vulnerably opening herself up and her lifes junk in an effort to comfort us in our own junky seasons of life. Ive been through some of the worst PTSD events and none of this is to compare my life to yours or to hers. It is to show we are all hurting. We all feel the same way. Life isnt fair and it never will be. As I write this review, Im holding my 2 year old sick toddler who just needs his mom because today hasnt been fair to him. The main point is we need one another. We need to know we are not alone. And we need to remember the promise we share in a new life in Christ. To fix our gaze on Him, hand in hand with each other, some of us limping, but all of us making it, together!

    I received this ebook free from the publisher through the BookLook Bloggers book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commissions 16 CFR, Part 255

  2. Illinois
    Age: 45-54
    Gender: Male
    4 Stars Out Of 5
    Life's Not Fair
    August 31, 2016
    Age: 45-54
    Gender: Male
    Quality: 5
    Value: 5
    Meets Expectations: 5
    I chose this book for review because the description sounded interesting. I did not realize it was primarily written to women. While it is primarily directed toward women, I really be it an interesting read. I believe we males often take women for granted, and when difficult curcumstances arise we do our best to fix the issue. We don't like tears, we don't talk about pain, unless it is physical, and we do our best to "just deal with it". Sadly, I cannot express how many relationships I have tried to help mend because of these very differences.

    Men would be well served to read this book to help them understand pain for on a woman's perspective. Women would do well to read this book to help them find support I their difficulties.

    The book is filled with insights, a bit if humor, and sage advice. The author does tend to jump around a bit, not a linear approach to figuring out life at all. But then again, life really isn't linear now is it?

    I received a copy of this book from Booklook Bloggers for review purposes. A positive review was not required, and all thoughts regarding this book are my own.
  3. 1 Stars Out Of 5
    It's not Fair
    August 24, 2016
    Quality: 1
    Value: 2
    Meets Expectations: 1
    The description about the author shocked me. Melanie is a geek on a God-ride

    There were graphic description that tunred my insides out. Flat outright dishonoring to God.

    This book is publicized as a book to help the reader show his real self to the world. I was looking forward to reading this book as I think people should indeed discard hypocrisy and false fronts. However, I was greatly confused and disappointed by this book. To clarify, I read many Christian books a year and am able to glean from authors of various denominations and beliefs. This book, however I found wishy-washy and void of depth. The author tried incredibly hard to persuade the reader to drop all masks that he basically encourages them to live in their sinfulness. Seriously- that's what I got from this book. I got the impression that the author promotes the idea that God loves who however you are and you don't even have to try to be a more godly person.... can you understand my confusion now?

    I got this book from the publisher to review.
  4. 5 Stars Out Of 5
    This book reads like one big fuzzy blanket hug
    August 10, 2016
    Quality: 5
    Value: 5
    Meets Expectations: 5
    Learning to love the life you didn't choose. When I read the subtitle of Melanie Dale's new book It's Not Fair, I was hooked. This has essentially been the theme of my life for the past few years. I was excited to read It's Not Fair, and it turned out to be even better than I expected.

    Melanie has a thing for fuzzy blankets ("Fuzzy blankets are my favorite."), and this book reads like one big fuzzy blanket hug. Need to wallow and watch Netflix? There's a chapter for that. Angry about your messed up life? Melanie will meet you in the swear shed. Hungry? See chapter nine, "Comfort Foods That Will Help You Eat Your Feelings." Not sure how to help someone? Melanie came up with 100(!) actually helpful things you can do. Are you just a hot mess? You'll find "I'm so sorry" and "me too" scattered throughout the book.

    In addition to all those wonderful things, It's Not Fair is full of movie quotes, hilarious tweets, funny doodles, and anecdotes from Melanie's blog and reader submissions (mine's on page 87!). Melanie also weaves scripture and biblical encouragement throughout the book, grounding our unexpectedly messy lives in God's good and perfect will.

    Yes, I am part of the launch team for this book and it is my "job" to be enthusiastic and flood social media with #itsnotfairbook, but I really did think this book is fantastic. Whether your life is a mess, or you love someone whose life is a mess, this book has it covered. With a fuzzy blanket.

    And if you pre-order before August 16, head to the It's Not Fair website for details about how to get fun pre-order bonuses.

    FTC Disclaimer: I received a copy of this book in exchange for a review.
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