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Few know how to survive the icy waters of grief better than Wilma Derksen. On one random Friday in 1984, her thirteen-year-old daughter, Candace, went missing. Seven weeks later, her body was found in a shed. Left to die in the plunging temperatures of Winnipeg's first cold front that year.
Wilma's world collapsed. Her marriage, her faith, her sanity, all hung the balance in the weeks and months that followed. It was only when she stopped hiding her grief and bravely faced her experience that she began to heal. In The Way of Letting Go, Wilma shares fifteen "Letting Go" statements--including Letting Go of the Old Me, Letting Go of Guilt, and Letting Go of My Need to Know. In these pages, Wilma shows you how, with God's help, she overcame her broken heart, and replaced fear with forgiveness. You can do the same.
Number of Pages: 224
Publication Date: 2017
|Dimensions: 8.0 X 5.3 (inches)|
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Maybe it was the sting of remarks from a relative or friend. Maybe a miscarriage ended your hopes for a family. For all of your heartbreaks, maybe you wished there was someone to help you through. For Wilma Derksen, letting go of the 15 misconceptions about grief led her back to hope. In this book she tells how you can do the same.
Wilmas world collapsed when her teenage daughter, Candace, was taken hostage and murdered. Wilma now shares her choices to "let go" of heartbreak, which gave her the courage to navigate through the dark waters of sorrow. Like Wilma, maybe your heartbreak forced you to retreat from happy expectations, of believing that life is fair, of finding closure for every circumstance. She encourages patiently: let go of the happy ending, let go of perfect justice, let go of fear, and let go of closure. Wilma's wisdom will help you overcome your broken heart, and her advice will enable you to break free of pain to live a life of true joy.
Wilma Derksen is an international speaker and consultant on victimization and criminal justice. She has told her story and facilitated support groups of survivors of homicide, organized dialogues between victims and inmates in prison, conducted trainings, given lectures, participated in panel discussions, presented her insights to the justice system, and addressed victims needs at restorative justice conferences throughout the United States and Canada.
I have followed Wilmas journey for years. It has been incredibly difficult, incredibly moving, and her insights incredibly profound. She has much to teach us all.
In The Way of Letting Go Wilma Derksen demonstrates how the healing process is to pass from the narrative of trauma as overwhelming grief into the narrative of trauma as an experience of deep and meaningful significance. Bringing together all her experience and learning following the agony of her daughters murder, here over thirty years later Derksen is able to give voice to a humanity born out of suffering. There are few who have given as much thought to the transformative power of forgiveness---she has defined, refined, probed, and reevaluated one of the most difficult, complex, but never more relevant forces in the world today.
Wilma Derksens powerful book highlights a profound paradox---to achieve some degree of control over ones life and emotions in the face of grief and trauma, one has to do the opposite---let go of control.
The answer is love and compassion for all of humanity. When the Nazarene said that we should forgive seventy times seven, he was telling us that forgiveness should be a habit, a way of life. Forgiveness is not for the person who has wronged us; it is for us---it sets us free. Wilmas story is proof of this.