Honestly Adoption: Answers to 101 Questions About Adoption and Foster Care
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Honestly Adoption: Answers to 101 Questions About Adoption and Foster Care  -     By: Mike Berry, Kristin Berry

Honestly Adoption: Answers to 101 Questions About Adoption and Foster Care

Harvest House Publishers / 2019 / Paperback

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Product Description

If you are considering adoption or foster care or are already somewhere in this difficult and complicated process, Honestly Adoption will provide you with practical, down-to-earth advice to make good decisions in your own adoption and foster parenting journey and give you the help and hope you need. Get the answers to 101 questions about adoption and foster care.

CONTENTS:

Part 1: Adoption Conversations

Part 2: Adoption Relationships

Part 3: Attachment Parenting

Part 4: Empowering Children

Part 5: Trauma

Part 6: A Safety Plan

Part 7: Self-Care

Part 8: Adoptee Perspectives

Product Information

Title: Honestly Adoption: Answers to 101 Questions About Adoption and Foster Care
By: Mike Berry, Kristin Berry
Format: Paperback
Number of Pages: 224
Vendor: Harvest House Publishers
Publication Date: 2019
Dimensions: 8.50 X 5.50 (inches)
Weight: 9 ounces
ISBN: 0736976795
ISBN-13: 9780736976794
Stock No: WW976790

Publisher's Description

Discover What Adoption and Foster Care Really Look Like
 
If you are considering adoption or foster care or are already somewhere in this difficult and complicated process, you need trusted information from people who have been where you are.
 
Mike and Kristin Berry have adopted eight children and cared for another 23 kids in their nine-year stint as foster parents. They aren’t just experts. They have experienced every emotional high and low and encountered virtually every situation imaginable as parents. Now, they want to share what they’ve learned with you.
 
Get the answers you need to the following questions, and many more:
 
Should I foster parent or adopt? How do I know?
 
What is the first step in becoming an adoptive or foster parent?
 
What are the benefits of an open versus closed adoption?
 
How and when do I tell my child that he or she is adopted?
 
How do I help my child embrace his or her cultural and racial identity?
 
Honestly Adoption will provide you with practical, down-to-earth advice to make good decisions in your own adoption and foster parenting journey and give you the help and hope you need.   
 

Author Bio

Mike and Kristin Berry are the parents of 8 adopted children and have cared for another 23 as foster parents. Mike is the author of Confessions of an Adoptive Parent and Winning the Heart of Your Child. Kristin is the author of Born Broken: An Adoptive Journey. Together, they host the popular Honestly Adoption podcast with over 60,000 subscribers. Their passion is to encourage moms and dads along the unique journey of foster and adoptive parenting.  
 

Chapter Titles

Part 1: Adoption Conversations

  1. Should I adopt?
  2. Should I foster?
  3. Should I foster to adopt?
  4. How should I prepare to be a foster parent?
  5. What difficulties should I be prepared for as a foster parent?
  6. I'm not called to foster or adopt, so how can I help?
  7. Do children need to know they were adopted?
  8. How can I tell our child he or she was adopted?
  9. Sometimes I believe a false narrative about our child's adoption. What should I do?
  10. How should I respond to people who praise me for adopting?

Part 2: Adoption Relationships

  1. Will our child ever love me?
  2. Will I ever love our child?
  3. Will our child and I ever have a healthy relationship?
  4. Will I be able to love our children equally?
  5. How can we keep our forever children from feeling neglected?
  6. How can we prepare or forever children before fostering?
  7. How should we explain foster care to our forever children?
  8. How can we prepare our forever children to share with foster children?
  9. What should I do if our forever children are resistant to fostering?
  10. What should I do if I'm fostering or adopting out of birth order?
  11. How will fostering change our forever kids?
  12. Why is open adoption becoming more popular?
  13. How should we prepare to meet our child's birth parents for the first time?
  14. How can we maintain an open relationship if our child's birth parents are rarely available?
  15. How can we include the birth family in a natural way?
  16. What if our child idealizes his or her birth family?
  17. How do we maintain a connection with the birth family even when it's difficult?
  18. How can we support our child when the birth parents terminate their parental rights?
  19. How can I support the first parents when they lose their parental rights?
  20. What if safety is a concern?
  21. What if the birth family cannot connect in a healthy way?
  22. What if my adult child stops communicating with me?
  23. How can we initiate a conversation with our child's school about trauma?
  24. How can we identify people who are not helpful?

Part 3: Attachment Parenting

  1. Why aren't traditional parenting methods working for us?
  2. What are some traditional parenting methods to avoid?
  3. What do kids who have experienced trauma need?
  4. How can we find the right therapist for our family?
  5. What should I do when our child acts out and needs discipline? 
  6. How can I encourage my family and close friends to support our parenting style?
  7. Can we overdo therapeutic parenting?

Part 4: Empowering Children

  1. Why is it important to empower our children?
  2. How can I empower our children to face difficult situations?
  3. How can I empower our children to process the good parts of their story?
  4. How can we empower children with two families to embrace their own identity?
  5. How can we teach our kids how to advocate for their own needs?
  6. How can I empower our children to own their own stories?
  7. How can I empower our child to have their own relationship with biological family members?
  8. How can I empower our child to love and care for himself?
  9. What can I do to help our child endure disappointment?
  10. How can I empower our child to grieve?
  11. How can I empower our child to build healthy attachments?
  12. How can I empower our child to utilize resources as he or she grows older?

Part 5: Trauma

  1. How will understanding our child's trauma help me as a parent?
  2. What should I do if I feel afraid of our child's birth family?
  3. Should I talk about our child's past trauma with them?
  4. How can I help our child process the hard parts of their story?
  5. What should I do if our child talks publicly about their trauma?
  6. How much should I tell teahers about our child's trauma?
  7. What should I do if professionals disregard our child's prenatal exposure to drugs, alcohol, and trauma?
  8. What should I do when our child hoards, lies, and steals?
  9. How should I respond if our child damages property?
  10. How should I respond when our child provokes other children? 
  11. What should I do when our child acts out against our family pet? 
  12. How can I help our child establish healthy sleeping habits? 
  13. How can I relieve our child's anxiety at bedtime?
  14. What should I do if our child resists sleeping in his or her own room? 
  15. How can I help a child sleep in our home for the first time? 
  16. How can I teach our child to relax at night without a bottle or other food?
  17. How can I keep our sleepwalking child safe? 
  18. When a child requires supervision 24 hours a day, how can I keep them safe and rest oo?
  19. How can I help children who have frequent nightmares? 
  20. How can I help a child who wets the bed and then can't go back to sleep? 
  21. What can I do if my toddler wakes up at night and needs me there to fall back asleep?
  22. What should I do if our child is daytime or nighttime wetting?
  23. What should I do if my child is hoarding food?
  24. Why does our child seem lazy?
  25. What can I do if our child doesn't seem to care about anything?
  26. What should I do if our child lies about everything?
  27. How should I handle an older child's tantrum in public?
  28. What should I do if our child is downloading pornography?
  29. What should I do when my teen displays risky behavior?
  30. Why is my teenager so angry with me?

Part 6: A Safety Plan

  1. What is a safety plan and how can I create one?
  2. How can our child follow their safety plan in public without embarassment?
  3. What if our adult child cannot be independent?
  4. What if our child is thinking about or has attempted suicide?

Part 7: Self-Care

  1. What if I don't want o ask for help?
  2. What are some simple ways I can practice self-care?
  3. How can our kids practice self-care?
  4. How can I care for my marriage?
  5. How can my spouse and I handle disagreement?
  6. How can we make the most of our date night?

Part 8: Adoptee Perspectives

  1. Do you have a relationship with your biological family?
  2. Do you celebrate your adoption day?
  3. How can a family help a new child feel welcome?
  4. Do you feel like you can talk with your adoptive family about your emotions?
  5. Do you want your adoptive family to ask questions about your birth family and adoption?
  6. What do you wish people would stop saying about adoption?
  7. What should adoptive parents do when others talk about adoption inappropriately?
  8. Did your name change whenyou were adopted?

Editorial Reviews

"Honestly Adoption is like a conversation with an old friend. Mike and Kristin Berry candidly answer your most pressing questions, sharing what they have learned along the way. It’s a must-read for anyone on the journey of adoption and foster care as well as those considering it."
Joshua N. Hook, PhD, coauthor of Replanted: Faith-Based Support for Adoptive and Foster Families


"What an incredibly comprehensive book Mike and Kristin Berry have written for adoptive and foster parents! I love it. Filled with a plethora of questions, this user-friendly book is like a manual that every parent would welcome and use periodically over the years as questions arise. Give parents time with this book, and you’ll see many dog-eared pages! It will be a favorite!"
Sherrie Eldridge, author of Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew


"This amazing book is a treasure trove of wisdom in bite-size nuggets that will help us all understand the good, bad, and ugly of foster care and adoption, as well as how we can love everyone around us and ourselves better. Thank you, Kristin and Michael (and all the adoptees) for answering real questions with intentionality, honesty, vulnerability, transparency, humility, and a whole lot of love, and for clearly providing guidance for our parenting, marriages, foster/adoption support, and self-care.
Philip Darke, host of the Think Orphan podcast and author of In Pursuit of Orphan Excellence


"The conversation of foster care and adoption requires excruciating honesty. Honesty that starts from a desire to see others succeed. Honesty that challenges us to be our best selves, especially in our hardest moments. Honesty that refreshes us with the simple notion that we are not alone. I adore Mike and Kristin, and I am so glad they sat with the hard questions, challenged optimistic expectations, encouraged courageous families, and gave dignity to the stories of the most vulnerable—our children. Honestly Adoption is a must-read regardless of where you are in the process of caring for vulnerable children. Thank you, Mike and Kristin, for your vulnerability and honesty."
Pam Parish, author, speaker, and founder of Connections Homes


"With the conversational style and candor we’ve come to expect, Mike and Kristin Berry have delivered once again. With the wisdom that comes from years of lived experience, they ask all the right questions in Honestly Adoption. But they don’t just ask the questions; they answer them too. Adoption and foster care should not be entered into lightly. In Honestly Adoption, Mike and Kristin provide answers to the questions that everyone should be asking."
Ryan North, cofounder, One Big Happy Home


"The dynamic Berry duo have written a wonderfully practical guide for foster and adoptive parents in Honestly Adoption. They combine head, heart, and spirit knowledge with years of experience in the parenting trenches. Whether you are a parent just considering the idea of adopting, or your toddlers won’t sleep alone, or your teenagers are engaging in risky behaviors, you will find hope, encouragement, and practical wisdom in digestible bites. I frequently found myself reading a nugget of truth and thinking of a specific family in my care who could benefit from the words shared. A must-have for clinicians and parents alike."
Paris Goodyear-Brown, MSSW, LCSW, RPT-S, founder of Nurture House, director of the TraumaPlay Institute, and author of Trauma and Play Therapy and A Safe Circle for Little U


"As a foster parent of many children, I can honestly say that this is a book I needed when I first began this journey. Mike and Kristin Berry accurately and honestly cover just about every major question that new and experienced parents alike have. This is a book you must have on your shelf!"
Jamie Finn, speaker and author of Foster the Family


"As an adoptee who has read a lot of content geared toward adoption, I believe this is a book for the ages. Mike and Kristin address the questions many parents have, and they capture the hearts and perspectives of adoptees as well. I highly recommend this book for families who want an accurate and in-depth perspective on the foster and adoptive journey."
Tony Wolf, comedian, speaker, and author of Serve One

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