At 43 and struggling to hold my marriage together (we're still hanging on), this book should be required reading for any engaged couple before the wedding. Oh, how I wish someone would have taught me this stuff 18 years ago....
This is the most useful marriage book I've ever read. I read it with my husband right before we got married - so glad we did. I ordered it recently for a friend who's getting married. This version is even nicer - comes with a DVD.
Great insight on protecting your marriage from the snare of Satan, by fleeing and identifying the way of escape from our temptations. He is all about not creating any opportunity for messing up, such as never being alone with any female he is not related to. Also, he checks in with his wife no matter what, when he has to travel with a female colleague. At first, I was like some of this is ridiculous, but he's like Dave Ramsey, the financial adviser, of the marriage arena - Dumb-proof things by eliminating all potential stumbling blocks no matter how much self-control you thing you may have and innocent they may seem.
My first introduction to "Hedges" came as a gift from my father-in-law shortly after it was first published in 1989. Early on, I adopted Jenkins's first and most important rule in protecting marriage. Within the first few paragraphs, Jenkins' advises, "Take care of the way things look and you take care of the way things are." He explains that if husbands will not allow themselves to be alone with an unrelated female, they've eliminated the possibility that anything inappropriate will take place.Jenkins effectively encapsulates the fundamental nature of man's sexual character, and uses examples to clearly outline how and why men are attracted to women. His detail to common "weaknesses" that often lead to extra-marital affairs is quickly followed by hedges designed to help husbands avoid even the most subtle displays of inappropriate behavior.Prudish is a common word Jenkins uses to describe his own hedges. And, he makes no apology for it. As Jenkins correctly illustrates in Chapter 4, almost every extra-marital affair begins with a seemingly innocent remark or contact with a woman. His "never flirt" and "some compliments don't pay" hedges insure there are never any misunderstandings between him and women.Hedges also takes a sobering, yet compassionate look at the emotional devastation of marital infidelity as he challenges the reader to reflect on those around him who have experienced a failed marriage because of infidelity. It is a no-nonsense book applicable to all men, from the just-engaged to the golden anniversary husband.Revised in 2005, Hedges now includes an accompanying DVD presentation, a study guide, and an interview with Jenkins, and is suitable for use in a men's study group.