How to Get Your Husband to Listen to You: Understanding

In their new book, How to Get Your Husband to Listen to You: Uncovering How Men Communicate (Multnomah, January 2008), popular authors Nancy Cobb and Connie Grigsby offer practical solutions for wives seeking clear, meaningful communication with their men. Their best-selling book, How to Get Your Husband to Talk to You, has changed the lives of women across America. Now the pair has applied their characteristic blend of biblical principle, personal experiences, and to-the-point illustrations to the other half of the communication equation.

“As wives, we often want our men to listen to us the way our mothers, sisters, and girlfriends listen to us. The problem is that while men have no trouble relating to other men, they have a huge problem relating to women because they aren’t doing what women think they should do,” Cobb states.

“We may be tempted to ask, ‘Why can’t a man be more like a woman?’ There is a simple answer: men don’t want to be more like women,” Grigsby adds. “They’re born male, and they’re hard-wired to grow into men. Such behavior would be completely unnatural and foreign to them.”

How to Get Your Husband to Listen to You is not about changing a man’s God-given way of thinking. Rather, it teaches women how to initiate healthy communication and enjoy the blessing of a husband who wants to listen. Within its pages, readers will discover specific ways to:

Help their husbands value what they say and how they say it

Nancy came to a relationship with Christ in 1981 through the ministry of Anne Graham Lotz (daughter of Billy Graham), who was her teacher and mentor. Seven years later, Anne, who taught a Bible Study Fellowship class of 500 women in Raleigh, NC, providentially chose her to take her place as the teacher of the class. Anne also selected Nancy to be a seminar leader when she began teaching women at the Billy Graham Training Center at the Cove in NC. Nancy continued in these two ministries until she and her husband, Ray, moved to Omaha, in 1992.

One of the major focuses of Nancy’s ministry has been encouraging and equipping women to live out God’s design for them in marriage. “When I became a Christian at the age of 43, I had no idea that God had a job description for wives in His word,” Nancy recalls. “I kept thinking, ‘If only I could change Ray, that would fix our problems.’ But after about a month, I realized that I was the one who needed to change. At that time, Ray wasn’t a believer, and neither were any of our kids. Without any announcement, I decided to start doing things God’s way. Everyone began to notice. As more time passed, I was amazed at the transformation the Lord accomplished in my marriage and my family.”

Nancy has co-authored three books with Connie Grigsby. Their first project, Is There a Moose in Your Marriage?, was a finalist for the ECPA Gold Medallion Award in 2001. This book was renamed, reformatted, and re-released as The Politically Incorrect Wife in 2003. Their second book, How to Get Your Husband to Talk to You, was a finalist for The Books for a Better Life Award and was on the ECPA bestseller list for several months. Their third book, The Best Thing I Ever Did for My Marriage, was released in August 2003. Their newest book, How to Get Your Husband to Listen to You: Uncovering How Men Communicate, will be released in January 2008 by WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group, a division of Random House, Inc.

Nancy and Connie have taught a class on marriage called “The Wife Class” for ten years which has been attended by hundreds of women. Nancy also mentors women from numerous churches so that they can teach “The Wife Class” in their own churches. She and Connie have appeared on The 700 Club and have been repeat guests on Family Life Today segments with Dennis Rainey and Revive Our Hearts with Nancy Leigh DeMoss. In addition, Nancy and Connie have a regular program, Lifewalk, every week on KGBI, one of Omaha’s Christian radio stations.

As the writing of How to Get Your Husband to Listen to You: Uncovering How Men Communicate was drawing to a close, Nancy lost her husband, Ray, to cancer on December 10, 2006. They had been married for 48 years. They have four children and one grandson.

Connie worked very hard on her marriage relationship for four long years. Then she gave birth to twin girls and discovered that they loved her much more unconditionally than Wes ever had. Before long, the relationship between Connie and Wes turned cold and distant. The couple plodded along and had a third daughter.

life took a surprising turn the day she made a seemingly inconsequential decision. “I was going to go to the pastor’s wife’s class on teens, but decided to attend the wives’ class, taught by Nancy Cobb, instead,” she remembers. “I learned all about God’s plan for me in my marriage. A month into the class, I woke up in the middle of the night and prayed, ‘Lord, I don’t even know what I’m doing, but you do. Will you help me?’ I determined I had missed so much by living life my own way. I discovered that God wanted an intimate, personal relationship with me on a daily basis. I began to change and, as often happens, my husband began to soften as well. It was like watching 1 Peter 3 come to life before my very eyes.”

Connie was finally able to employ her latent writing talents when Nancy Cobb asked her to collaborate on their first book, Is There a Moose in Your Marriage? This book was a finalist for the ECPA Gold Medallion Award in 2001 and was renamed, reformatted, and re-released as The Politically Incorrect Wife in 2003. Their second book, How to Get Your Husband to Talk to You, was a finalist for The Books for a Better Life Award and was on the ECPA bestseller list for several months. Their third book, The Best Thing I Ever Did for My Marriage, was released in August 2003. In addition, Connie authored How to Get Your Teen to Talk to You. The pair’s newest book, How to Get Your Husband to Listen to You: Uncovering How Men Communicate, was released in January 2008 by WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group, a division of Random House. Connie’s style—humorous, insightful, and unpretentious—reflects her desire to craft user-friendly books that can capture a secular audience with God’s truth.

Nancy and Connie have taught a class on marriage called “The Wife Class” for 10 years which has been attended by hundreds of women. They have been repeat guests on Family Life Today with Dennis Rainey and Revive Our Hearts with Nancy Leigh DeMoss and have appeared on The 700 Club. In addition, Nancy and Connie have a regular program, Lifewalk, every week on KGBI, one of Omaha, Nebraska’s Christian radio stations.

Wes and Connie have three grown daughters and reside in Omaha, where Wes has just been appointed Chief of Staff at Creighton University Medical Center. Connie enjoys playing tennis, spending time with her family and friends, and eating other people’s cooking. She can frequently be found driving the golf cart for Wes, an avid golfer and devoted Starbucks customer.