A Fierce Love: One Woman's Courageous Journey to Save Her Marriage - eBook
A Fierce Love: One Woman's Courageous Journey to Save Her Marriage - eBook  -     By: Shauna Shanks
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Zondervan / 2017 / ePub
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A Fierce Love: One Woman's Courageous Journey to Save Her Marriage - eBook

Zondervan / 2017 / ePub

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Product Information

Format: DRM Protected ePub
Vendor: Zondervan
Publication Date: 2017
ISBN: 9780310348467
ISBN-13: 9780310348467
UPC: 025986348465

Publisher's Description

Love is easy to give when you are getting it back. Are we still called to God’s plan of how to love when we are getting none in return? Shauna Shanks’s brave journey through obedience reveals the outcome of when we dare to follow God’s ludicrous outline for love as described in 1 Corinthians 13.

Wrecked with news of her husband’s affair and his request for a divorce, Shauna finds herself urgently faced with a decision. Does she give up and divorce her husband and move on, or does she try to fight for her marriage? The former choice seems to contradict God’s plan for how to love, such as "love never gives up," "love is patient," and "love is kind."

Taking God at His word and assuming the love chapter was really meant to be followed literally word by word, she not only finds herself falling in love with her spouse again, but also falling in love with Jesus, which changes everything.

First Corinthians 13 presents an audacious, illogical, and irrational context of how to love, meant to be applied to every marital context not just the fairytale marriage. If God’s instructions seem illogical and audacious, you might just expect the same kind of results in return!

This book is not air-brushed. It was written in the midst of the author’s deepest trauma, and she purposefully did not edit out her mistakes and failures during that season. This book will resonate with women who do not feel like the picture-perfect Christian woman with the fairytale life and marriage. A Fierce Love is the story of a train wreck and reaching out to God not in the calm but in the chaos and finding hope for the future.

Author Bio

Shauna Shanks is a wife, mother, and entrepreneur. She started Smallfolk, a health food café, out of her passion for health and fitness. She graduated from Christ for the Nations Institute in Dallas, Texas, with a focus on world missions. Shauna and her husband, Micah, who is a police officer, have been married for more than a decade, and they live with their three boys on an Ohio farm. www.shaunashanks.com

 

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  1. Michele Morin
    Warren, Maine
    Age: 45-54
    Gender: female
    5 Stars Out Of 5
    Activate the Love Filter: 5 Principles to Safeguard Your Marriage
    September 11, 2017
    Michele Morin
    Warren, Maine
    Age: 45-54
    Gender: female
    Quality: 5
    Value: 5
    Meets Expectations: 5
    Somewhere within the first decade of our marriage, my husband and I began to notice a disturbing trend: marriages dissolving all around us. In the church we attended at that time, three couples went their separate ways in a single year. They were active, visible members regular attenders. We looked at each other, both deer in the headlights and knew, deep in our bones: This could happen to us, too.

    Shauna Shanks writes about marriage from the trenches, and A Fierce Love is a manual for marriage preservation in the wake of unfaithfulness, betrayal, and emotional abandonment, for Shauna has invited readers to witness the anguish of the days, weeks, and months that followed her husband Micahs announcement that he wanted a divorce. The book is a record of her resolve to fight for her marriage, even though Micah gave her absolutely no hope for reconciliation.

    The Love Filter

    . . . this man with whom I had built a life, made promises to, and shared our children, opened his mouth and declared, I do not love you. . . I am not attracted to you . . . I shouldnt have married you. . . I have wasted ten years of my life with you, and I dont want to waste any more of my time. I feel nothing for you.

    And yet:

    God directed Shaunas thoughts to I Corinthians 13, the love chapter, and she made a decision that her love would not be based on mere feelings. Rather than reading Pauls words as lovely sentiment or tired poetry, for Shauna, they became a call to a fierce love a battle cry based on the truth and a posture of grace and restraint.

    Instead of remorse over his sin, Micah communicated only rejection. If the marriage was to be saved, the ball was entirely in Shaunas court, so she employed the truths of I Corinthians 13 as her Love Filter. Responding in kindness, patience, and hope while rejecting rudeness, pride, and jealousy, she was free to persevere because I Corinthians 13 love never fails.

    A Specific Calling

    Shauna is very quick to say that not everyone will be called to fight as she did, and not every marriage on a broken planet is salvageable. However, her specific calling was to hang in there, to speak only to a few very close friends about her plight, and to expend all her energy in the direction of preserving that relationship.

    Second Marriage

    So completely was the Shankss marriage transformed, Shauna speaks of their first ten years pre-crisis as their first marriage (even though there was no legal breach) and the time since the reconciliation as the second marriage. The challenge facing you and me today, then, is to reject a first marriage mindset and to fight each day for that second-marriage-level of commitment to self-giving as a rescue for a failing marriage or as a safe guard to an already stable and healthy marriage.

    In reading Shaunas courageous account of warrior-level faith, I gleaned five principles that seemed to be sign posts on her journey of fierce love:

    1. Beware blatant indifference.

    The roots of Micahs cold detachment from a ten-year marriage can be traced to his troubled childhood coupled with the distraction of a competing love, but even so, Shauna admits she, too, had been practicing some behaviors that could also be considered blatant indifference. Binge-watching Netflix series, failing to prioritize time with Micah, and viewing the marriage as a utilitarian childcare arrangement also set the stage for weakened ties. Of course this does not excuse Micahs infidelity but Shauna laments, My sin may have looked different than Micahs, but it was still sin.

    2. Find Aaron and Hur caliber support.

    God provided two friends for Shauna who upheld her through the darkest days. So strong was her resolve to fight and so clear was her understanding that God was directing her toward reconciliation that she did not want to risk telling her family about their rift in order to keep them from turning against Micah. (She and Micah continued to live in the same house so to the outside observer, nothing had changed in the Shanks household.)

    Shauna was not being abused or endangered, so she does not intend for her practice to be prescriptive for those who are in an abusive relationships. This is an important distinction given the tendency of abuse victims to hide unhealthy relationships out of shame or fear. With that firmly established, in a culture in which husband-bashing has become acceptable even in Christian circles, theres a place for respectful silence about our spouses shortcomings as well as an honoring curtain of privacy sheltering a marriage relationship.

    3. Refuse to receive the damaging effects of a wayward spouses rejection.

    Shauna clung to the truth that God had already set a high value upon her, and this guarded her heart from dwelling on negative thoughts and helped to pull her out of depression and despair.

    The Bible instructs us to take our thoughts captive. We act as though we have no control over our thoughts . . . as if once they pop into our heads, we have to let them live there.

    Take them captive. They will kill you.

    4. Chase after God.

    If two people are determined to seek God faithfully, their marriage relationship will be impacted as well. Before working on her marriage, Shauna focused on her relationship with God and, mercifully, Micahs heart for Shauna changed after his heart warmed once again to his Lord.

    5. Take grace.

    Theres a prideful rising up of the spirit that is death to relationships because it rejects the gracious offering of forgiveness. Shauna found that one of the obstacles to reconciliation was that, although she was willing to extend grace to Micah in a supernatural way he had to become willing to receive it.

    From a dark and oppressive place, Shauna trusted for grace, and God met her there. No matter what the state of your marriage (or even if you are single) there is merit in being reminded that when God becomes involved in the process of restoration, He does not merely patch us up or send us backward into a former thing. Gods work of redemption restores forward into a brand new and beautiful thing that only He can accomplish.

    //

    This book was provided by Zondervan through BookLook Bloggers in exchange for my review. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commissions 16 CFR, Part 255 : Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.
  2. Julie
    Oklahoma
    Age: 35-44
    Gender: female
    5 Stars Out Of 5
    Honest Look At Infidelity and Healing!
    July 13, 2017
    Julie
    Oklahoma
    Age: 35-44
    Gender: female
    Quality: 5
    Value: 5
    Meets Expectations: 5
    I loved this book!

    Let me clarify. I hate that Shauna and Micah had to travel this road. I hate that anyone has to travel this road, whether it is the husband having an affair or the wife that has an affair. It isn't pleasant at all for anyone. If you are one of the few that know our story, then you know that we have been down this road and we have come out on the other side stronger than ever. Loving this book does not mean that I love what happened to them, it means that I love that they have shared their story with us. I love that they are still writing the rest of their story. No, I do not have any inside scoop about another book or a Hallmark movie (which was mentioned on the live chat), I mean that they are still doing life together. They are still in this love story. I love that Shauna listened to God, and applied the Love Filter to her life. I love this book!

    A Fierce Love is a book of life, hope, heartache, and healing. Divorce happens, and it happens a lot. I'm not judging. I have friends, family and even my husband has been divorced. A preacher man that I am "friends" with on the Book of Faces pointed out that even God has been divorced. I'll leave the scripture right here so you can read it for yourself.

    Jeremiah 3: 8

    New International Version (NIV)

    8 I gave faithless Israel her certificate of divorce and sent her away because of all her adulteries. Yet I saw that her unfaithful sister Judah had no fear; she also went out and committed adultery.

    I know that is a completely different blog post, but it is written right there in the Bible.

    Back to the book, A Fierce Love. When we get married, we make a vow before God, family and friends, and lots of weddings are in churches. LOTS! We want God there when we are in the midst of all the wedded bliss, but when we are wronged we often forget to bring God into the situation. This book is a wonderful example of how we can go to God, listen to God, and obey God in what seems like the end of our world. Don't get me wrong, this happily ever ending won't happen for everyone, even with God being in the situation. But shouldn't we be willing to bring Him into more of our situations?

    Oh I seem to be getting off track here, let me see if I can wrap it up with something about the actual book.

    A Fierce Love is a book that I recommend to everyone! Men and women! I admire anyone that is willing to showcase a terrible time in their life to remind us that God is good. They are willing to share their story in hopes that someone will gain from it. I'm sure there will be haters out there, because anytime God is glorified the haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate. (Sorry!) Just shake it off! (I know, sorry! Couldn't help myself!)

    Love this book! Go get it! Read it! Share it!

  3. RecipesDealsEtc
    Age: 35-44
    Gender: female
    5 Stars Out Of 5
    Honest, Transparent and Vulnerable
    July 8, 2017
    RecipesDealsEtc
    Age: 35-44
    Gender: female
    Quality: 5
    Value: 5
    Meets Expectations: 5
    In this first book from Shauna Shanks, she invites us into the most heartbreaking event of her life. In 2013 her husband asked her for a divorce andhad an affair. She transparently presents her journey from lukewarm Christian, mom, and wife who defined herself as "comfortable in her box" to a woman deeply in love with her God and her husband.

    Although I have not been through the experiences Shauna writes about I still found myself relating to her journey. Shauna pointed out that she found her story mirrored in scripture because it was about much more than her marriage. God was pursuing her heart, her husband's heart, and even their marriage.

    As much as this book is about Shauna's response to her husband and God after learning her husband wanted a divorce, it's also about all God taught her. How he guided her, and spoke to her.

    "An amazing thing had happened, but in the trenches of my despair, I didn't recognize the miracle. I was so desperate to have something to hold onto that I reacted to the words he spoke, but I failed to pause and rejoice in the simple fact that God was speaking. It was amazing. But what was truly a wonder, and what hadn't happened much of my whole adult life, was that God was speaking and I heard him."

    Shauna explains how God guided her to filter her words and actions through 1 Corinthians 13 (the love chapter). How she learned to walk through the hardest and scariest part of her life with a deepening love of Jesus and a growing hunger for the pursuit of him.

    There were moments where I was angry for Shauna, feeling frustrated that her story was one of reconciliation. As she pointed out, that was the harder path. Walking away would have seemed less painful than the one God was calling her to, still, it was the one she not only desired, it was the one God had promised her would be healed.

    Shauna's story has me looking for places in my life I am living lukewarm and re-evaluating them.

    I am looking for the subtle ways God is pursuing me. I don't want to miss his voice. Thanks for A Fierce Love I have a renewed perspective on this.
  4. cjbloom
    5 Stars Out Of 5
    A must Read
    July 3, 2017
    cjbloom
    Quality: 0
    Value: 0
    Meets Expectations: 0
    LOVE this book it is more than just about what happens if your husband has and affair. It is about how God tells us to love our husbands, and our God. It is wonderful. It will help you through many different experiences and growing closer to God.
  5. Anonymous
    5 Stars Out Of 5
    He is Everywhere
    June 13, 2017
    Anonymous
    Quality: 5
    Value: 5
    Meets Expectations: 5
    This book is applicable to any circumstance, every trial and every relationship, romantic or not. I relate to the content in so many ways. The deepest darkest most trying times in our lives exist so that God may, not only restore us, but give us life more abundantly. Shauna Shanks is so gifted at referencing scripture and relating it to her struggles. She unassumingly takes on the role of a teacher and her words transcend her situation. I cried because of how grateful I was that this could happen in my life. The things that she did are things we can all apply to our own life and we can all seek the face of God and find renewed hope as we let Him intervene in our most insurmountable trials. She spills her guts so ably and glorifies God so freely! By the end of this book I felt that I had been given a gift. I heard God speak to me through the author's words and I just kept reading it, until I had read it twice. It is an extraordinarily brave story, and with such a beautiful ending. I am truly blessed to have read it.
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