Author: Demi Cheryl
Located in: Ottawa, Canada
Submitted: December 07, 2022
Tell us a little about yourself. I have been fortunate enough to have grown up in the church and a christian family. I have dealt with the loss of my father at 18, and was diagnosed with Bipolar disorder and an Anxiety disorder all at the same time in 2012. Most of my 20's I struggled with severe depression and mental health issues, while attending church every Sunday and feeling like "the worst christian" for my dark struggles. I thought that growing up I was supposed to hide the parts of myself i was ashamed of so that it wouldn't impact my witness as a believer. Through secretly writing in private journals for years, I reconciled my issues with grace and trusting the Lord in every season. The faithfulness of God is the only reason I am able to stand here and declare God's goodness and the reason I write, and will continue to boast gladly in my weakness.
What was your motivation behind this project? In writing this book, I was letting the vulnerability of what I was enduring at the time flow onto the page in hopes that my pain could be used somehow.
What do you hope folks will gain from this project? I hope that the christian community would see a very real and honest struggle with mental health that was not glorified or glossed over and that christians would know that it is OK to struggle with very dark, very real moments and not have to worry about losing their faith or feeling like any less of a believer for having doubts, questions and fears.
How were you personally impacted by working on this project? This project helped me overcome a lot of shame I'd felt towards my mental health journey and also was the catalyst that allowed me to finally be able to see myself with grace and humility. It gave me the courage to speak about my story, as not my will, but the Lord's.
Who are your influences, sources of inspiration or favorite authors / artists? A lot of my influences came from worship music, as I was unable to verbally articulate my prayers in my darkest days. I would listen to a lot of Hillsong United, Joel Houston has been a prolific songwriter and my favourite artist for his transparency and the way he is able to bridge the spiritual and phsyical gap of humanity and write such profound glimpses into the spiritual realm. I also listened to Bethel Music, Lauren Daigle, Tenth Avenue North, and Tauren Wells.
Anything else you'd like readers / listeners to know: My life's mission and prayer has and will always be out of Isaiah 6:8:
"Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, “Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?"
And I said, "Here am I. Send me!"
