Don't Go to Bed Angry: Stay Up and Fight
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Abingdon Press / 2016 / Paperback
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Don't Go to Bed Angry: Stay Up and Fight

Abingdon Press / 2016 / Paperback

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Product Description

In Don't Go to Bed Angry, Deb and Ron DeArmond give you permission to fight. Combining a healthy dose of personal experience with relationship-affirming biblical wisdom, they demonstrate how communicating through conflict can lead to greater insight and understanding that might even strengthen your marriage. Includes worksheets, discussion questions, callouts, and prayers, making this a very practical handbook.

Product Information

Format: Paperback
Number of Pages: 208
Vendor: Abingdon Press
Publication Date: 2016
Dimensions: 8.00 X 5.00 (inches)
ISBN: 1426790937
ISBN-13: 9781426790935

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Publisher's Description

In every marriage, there is conflict. And with every conflict, there is a choice for resolution. Will you ignore the issue until it seemingly goes away? Or will you work together to find peace?

In Don’t Go to Bed Angry, Deb and Ron DeArmond give you permission to fight. Conflict isn’t the problem, after all; the real issue is how we deal with the conflict. Deb and Ron demonstrate how communication through conflict can safeguard—and even strengthen—your relationship. Immensely practical features including worksheets and discussion questions make this a definitive go-to resource to help you start fighting—together—for your marriage.


PRAISE FOR DON'T GO TO BED ANGRY:

"Don’t Go to Bed Angry. Stay Up and Fight!" packs a one-two punch into the gut of all marital conflict no matter the source. The book is both transparent and practical, offering couples a variety of proven tools to develop marital muscles to knock out every opponent, and arise as Christ-like champions. An incredible resource!"—Clint and Penny A. Bragg, Authors of Marriage on the Mend—Healing Your Relationship After Crisis, Separation, or Divorce and founders, Inverse Ministries
 
"In Don’t Go To Bed Angry. Stay Up and Fight, Deb and Ron DeArmond deliver a biblically-based book on the topic of marital conflict. Practical exercises will help the reader move away from the potential damage conflict can bring to the discovery that comes from learning to stand together as allies not enemies—even when you don’t see eye-to-eye. We highly recommend this book as a creative guide for any couple, at any stage of life to find alignment with one another—and God—in their marriage."—Claudia & David Arp, Co-authors, 10 Great Dates to Energize Your Marriage and founders of Marriage Alive International.
 
"Don’t Go to Bed Angry has a solid Biblical foundation and is full of wise counsel and great practical tools. Deb and Ron are open and honest as they share from their experiences and those of others. I have been counseling couples for over thirty years, and this great, new title goes immediately to the top of my list of books on how to deal with conflict in marriage and grow your marriage God’s way." —Kim Kimberling, PhD, author of Seven Secrets to an Awesome Marriage and the leader of the Awesome Marriage Movement.
 
"When my sons were teenagers, they often argued. Finally one day, I sat them on our couch and said, "I'm going to teach you how to fight." They were shocked. They thought they were experts. I gave a couple of steps to keep their arguments respectful and to help them own their own feelings. In their book, the DeArmonds have set us all down on their own couch and given us the principles to do right what we probably all do, and do wrong. These principles work! The sooner you start, the sooner you reap the benefits." —Joann Cole Webster, Vice President, Christian Men's Network
 
"In our work with couples in crisis for twenty years we have seen the value of having conflict resolution skills. "Fights"--loud and silent--can become long lasting wars with much devastation. In Don’t Go To Bed Angry, Deb and Ron give us a pattern to develop essential skills to resolve inevitable marital conflict. Read this book and let God guide the application to your marriage. Then you can begin the "fight for" your marriage. It's so worth it!"—Mona Shriver, author of Unfaithful and co-founder of Hope & Healing Ministries.
 
Praise for author Deb DeArmond and her previous book, I Choose You Today: 31 Choices to Make Love Last

"It's often been said that our choices define us. That's true personally, but it's also a key to our relationships. Deb DeArmond has provided a practical and insightful book detailing 31 choices we can make as husbands and wives that have the potential to transform even a good marriage—and make it a great one." —Greg Smalley, Vice President of Family Ministry, Focus on the Family

Author Bio

Deb DeArmond is an author, speaker, and coach with a focus on communication, relationships, and conflict resolution. Her writing explores marriage, parenting, in-law and extended family relationships. She is the author of Related By Chance, Family By Choice and I Choose You Today: 31 Choices to Make Love Last. Deb is a member of AWSA and the founder of Living-Write, where she coaches aspiring authors. Shes monthly columnist and feature writer for Lifeways Mature Living Magazine, and contributor to WHOA Magazine for Women. She and her husband live in the Dallas area.
Ron DeArmond has followed Christ since the age of 12 and has studied the Bible for 45+ years. He has previously served in ministry positions with Christian Mens Network, Faithful Men Ministry, and has ministered internationally, teaching men's curriculum. Ron is currently the director of mens ministry at Catch the Fire/DFW. Ron and Deb have been together for more than 40 years and live in Euless, Texas.

Product Reviews

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Meets Expectations:
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Displaying items 1-5 of 6
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  1. debhgrty
    Plymouth MA
    Age: Over 65
    Gender: Female
    4 Stars Out Of 5
    Great Handbook About Handling Conflict Between Partners
    August 13, 2016
    debhgrty
    Plymouth MA
    Age: Over 65
    Gender: Female
    Quality: 5
    Value: 5
    Meets Expectations: 5
    Debs Dozen: Rules for Conflict: Dont Go to Bed Angry. Stay Up and Fight!

    Ron and Deb DeArmond have written a practical guide for communication between spouses in Dont Go to Bed Angry: Stay Up and Fight. Much of what they say is not new, but Ron and Deb have so formatted their book, the advice makes perfect sense. I especially like the wrap up to each chapter: Put on the Gloveswhat did you learn? He said/She saidhow did each partner view the material? God saidwhat does Scripture teach?

    The DeArmonds address communication in nine areas: Burdens, Baggage, Bridges, Barriers, Boundaries, and Blessings. As they speak to each topic, they relate stories of how they handled the different areasdemonstrating that all of us slip and fallbut more importantly, how we can get back up and move forward positively.

    The two sections that impacted me most were those of communication and communication traps. Communication is defined as transmission of a message so that both parties have a shared understanding of whats been said. The most important part of that definition is shared understanding. I can think of many times when my husband and I have had hurt feelings or conflicts because each drew a very different understanding from the conversation.

    The chapter on communication traps was the second most important for me. I know at various times in our marriage, I have fallen into each one of them: Silence, Sulking, Sarcasm, and Sound. The DeArmonds define each one and teach very clearly how and why they are so dangerous. My husband and I are both experts (to our detriment) in SarcasmI cant tell you how many times weve walked away from a discussion hurt, angry, and sullen. If wed followed the DeArmonds suggestions, we could have escaped those traps and spoken with each other successfully.

    In addition to the excellent advice and counsel in the chapters, Ron and Deb add three appendices which summarize the book: Scriptures and Intentions, chapter by chapter; The Rules; and an excerpt from Got Vision.

    The result is a concise, well-written handbook on how two people can best get along when theyre married to each other. In fact, the rules can apply to any two individuals who are close and want to build an excellent relationship. Four stars!

    Ron and Deb DeArmond have been together for more than forty years. Deb is a sought-after speaker and executive coach, and Ron is currently the director of mens ministry at Catch the Fire/DFW. When I interviewed them last June, they told me they met in high school and married when they were nineteen. After three or four years, they asked their moms, Why did you let us get married? They came from opposite backgroundsDeb from an Ozzie and Harriet lifestyle and Ron from a family filled with lots of conflict. As a result, the two of them had no pattern for successful fighting.

    They said they quickly learned the most important question to ask was, Do you want to winor do you want us to learn to listen to each other and learn to love each other? Their discoveries led them to share their Tools and Rules with us, giving us options for speaking and conflict resolution in a positive fashion.

    Abingdon Press gave me an Advanced Readers Copy of Dont Go To Bed Angry in exchange for my unbiased review.
  2. Just Commonly
    4 Stars Out Of 5
    Communicate and fight!
    July 22, 2016
    Just Commonly
    Quality: 0
    Value: 0
    Meets Expectations: 0
    "Don't go to bed angry." That is one of the first "rules" I told my husband when we got married. Clearly, it has merit! LOL. So, the moment I saw the title of this book, I have to read it. For me, it was just one simple rule - five words, but after years, we've realized at times, it's how we go about achieving that, that has quite the learning curve. In Don't Go to Bed Angry by Deb and Ron DeArmond, we are presented with tools to handle conflict as a couple, and not just any couple - a couple committed in a covenant with each other and God. I find the basic understanding and premise of this book in correlation to my beliefs in always working for the marriage, with God as our center, our mentor. It does take effort, personal effort and communication.

    "When we stand, fighting together as one flesh, against the enemy, we break through these barriers and reflect the life Christ died to secure for us. Our marriages glorify Him as we reflect the character of the King in this life. " (102)

    Don't Go to Bed Angry includes information on the subject, discussion, practical tools and insights from personal testimonies of others. The "Put on the Glove" section at the back of each category is very similar to the questions in pre-marriage counseling , allowing both you and your other half to have discussion questions and prayer time together. In all, it is what it said it is, "A practical handbook on how to fight better - together - for your marriage." (back cover)

    This review first appeared on Just Commonly blog.

    NOTE: I received a complimentary copy of this book from the publisher, through Litfuse Publicity Tours for an honest review. All opinions expressed are my own. For my review policy, please see my Disclosure page.
  3. debs
    Maine
    Age: 35-44
    Gender: female
    5 Stars Out Of 5
    Don't Go To Bed Angry ~ Deb & Ron DeArmond
    July 16, 2016
    debs
    Maine
    Age: 35-44
    Gender: female
    Quality: 5
    Value: 5
    Meets Expectations: 5
    This is a great book for anyone, at any age that is married or going to be married. It is a short book with lots of information and helpful techniques to help in the arguments you have in a marriage. I like how each chapter is written in very easy to understand terms and at the end of each chapter has questions to think about, process, journal and then have a discussion with your spouse. The He said / She said questions are great to get to know your partner and also to relate how each of you feel. I really like the GOD said section and then the very end is a prayer.

    I would recommend this to everyone in a relationship at any age. This is a great book to do for a bible study marriage group, study with your spouse, or even (though not recommended) by yourself.

    This would be a great gift as a wedding gift for the new couple. This book has a major goal, to strengthen your relationship... well worth it!

    Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publisher through Litfuse. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commissions 16 CFR, Part 255: Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising
  4. Pilar Arsenec
    New Jersey
    Age: 45-54
    Gender: female
    5 Stars Out Of 5
    Excellent Book!
    July 16, 2016
    Pilar Arsenec
    New Jersey
    Age: 45-54
    Gender: female
    Quality: 5
    Value: 5
    Meets Expectations: 5
    The main premise of this book is how to communicate in a marriage and tools on how to resolve conflict effectively. I honestly wish this book existed years ago.

    If you don't know how to fight fairly, or resolve conflict, you are going to find yourself in a very precarious situation. "Don't God To Bed Angry" can help as it is a guidebook and will teach you how to communicate and do marriage successfully.

    This is by far one of the best marriage books I have read in years. I give five stars, but if I could give it more, I would. I will be referring to this book and recommending it to everyone.

    ***I received a complimentary copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
  5. RSSMILES
    5 Stars Out Of 5
    A wonderful book with some really good advice!
    July 14, 2016
    RSSMILES
    Quality: 5
    Value: 5
    Meets Expectations: 5
    This is a wonderful book with some really good advice from a couple that have been married for 40+ years. I love the title and subtitle - it catches your attention and brings to mind the advice to not ever go to bed angry. :) This is an easy read that only has nine chapters and is broken down into six categories (Burdens, Baggage, Bridges, Barriers, Boundaries, & Blessings). Each section ends with an informative "Put On The Gloves" summary & discussion with "He Said/She Said", "God Said", and "Prayer". I really like that about this book.

    If at all possible you should read this with your spouse. You'll find some good tools for communication and conflict resolution for arguments that are inevitable in any relationship. Even if you don't have an argumentative, verbal personality, there will always be some type of conflict that you will need to resolve. And like I said, it's a quick read so it won't bog you down with too much information. You can't go wrong in reading this book!

    *Thanks to Litfuse for a complimentary copy of this book for review purposes. I was not required to write a positive review and all opinions stated are my own.*
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