I Beg to Differ: Navigating Difficult Conversations with Truth and Love

Tim Muehlhoff (PhD, University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill) is associate professor of communication at Biola University in La Mirada, California, where he teaches classes in family communication, interpersonal communication and gender. His previous books include The God Conversation, Authentic Communication and Marriage Forecasting. He can be found online at timmuehlhoff.com.

I head up a graduate program in Christian apologetics and I can't think of a better book to read if you want to engage others with the 'humility and respect' that the apostle writes about in 1 Peter 3:15. But understand, this book is for everybody: evangelists, pastors, spouses, friends, bosses, employees--anyone who needs to communicate with charity, confidence and clarity. Tim Muehlhoff has written yet another incredibly helpful book that really needs to be read far and wide.
-Craig J. Hazen,
founder and director of the Christian Apologetics Program at Biola University

For more than twenty years, I have benefited both personally and professionally from Tim's wisdom and coaching. He is a masterful communicator, and the principals contained in his most recent book are stunning. I can't say that I am looking forward to the next difficult conversation that I will have to have with a family member or friend, but I am confident that the timeless and proven principles contained in I Beg to Differ will help me communicate with integrity and clarity.
-Chris Willard,
director of generosity initiatives and premium service, Leadership Network

A number of years ago I determined two very important things about marriage: we are naturally very good at initiating conflict, and we are naturally very bad at resolving conflict. How you resolve conflict in your marriage, family and relationships will determine the depth of intimacy you experience in these relationships. I Beg to Differ is '911 to the rescue' for relationships. This may be the most important book you read this year.
-Dennis Rainey,
host, FamilyLife Today, founder and president, FamilyLife Ministries

Over the last twenty years or so, we have witnessed an explosion of important works in Christian apologetics. But what have been missing are books teaching us how to communicate our ideas in effective ways with those who have a different viewpoint. I Beg to Differ meets this need in a wonderful way. Muehlhoff brings together an expertise in communication, a deep integration of biblical teaching and decades of ministry experience to produce a book that is highly practical and theoretically solid. This is a must-read for anyone who wants to learn how to interact with people of different perspectives.
-J. P. Moreland,
Biola University

One doesn't have to look far to find myriad examples of incivility--from political commentators who cut off and ridicule their guests to boardrooms to church and faculty meetings to the dinner table. I can think of no one better than Tim Muehlhoff to provide insight and practical wisdom on how to navigate difficult conversations with grace and truth. Tim doesn't just apply his considerable scholarly expertise and biblical knowledge to the subject; he lives what he writes.
-Carol Taylor,
president, Evangel University

Having worked in college ministry for over twenty years, we are always looking for resources to help people engage those with differing views on campus. With Tim Muehlhoff's help, even difficult conversations can foster understanding instead of driving a wedge.
-Bob and Jill Fuhs,
Cru staff, Los Angeles and Orange County

This book can pull your marriage out of the communication ditch. It's practical, authentic and full of helpful insight. It can help you move your marriage to a whole new level.
-Bob Lepine,
cohost, FamilyLife Today

Over the years, Tim Muehlhoff's thoughts and guidance on personal communication have helped me grow as a person and as a leader. In I Beg to Differ, he once again provides me with strategies I can immediately apply to what I do every day, in business and in my personal life.
-Jon Basalone,
executive vice president, Trader Joe's Company

This is a deeply wise book. In it, Tim Muehlhoff offers hope, but not just hope; he also provides practical tools to help us communicate about differences in ways that foster growth more than division. Illustrating the book are powerful examples that are illuminated by Muehlhoff's seamless blending of insights from communication research and lessons from the Scriptures. The result is a book that resonates powerfully with our lives and invites us to become better versions of ourselves.
-Julia T. Wood,
University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill

Conflict can be an indicator light of a relationship trending toward intimacy. Because of this, if we want to experience the joys of long-term, authentic relationships, we have to learn how to navigate conflict well. My friend Tim Muehlhoff gives us a strategy and practical tools to help guide us in having those sometimes unpleasant but necessary encounters.
-Bryan Loritts,
lead pastor, Fellowship Memphis

I love this book! My life can sometimes feel like a cauldron of conflict--from negotiating a price on a Craigslist purchase to serious disagreements with my neighbors, colleagues and family members. In I Beg to Differ author Tim Muehlhoff clearly articulates both the theory of conflict resolution and the practical methods of dealing with real people! This book has already challenged me to be a more intentional steward of my relationships. Read it, then reread it--the people around you will thank you!
-Chris Zaugg,
executive director, Keynote (a ministry of Cru)

"Tim has the gift of taking profound insights based on solid scholarship and Scripture and making them easily understandable and practical. He exudes integrity in his own life and communication. I plan to study and apply the principles in this book!"

-- Roger Hershey, national speaker, Cru, and author of The Finishers

" I Beg to Differ charts the course we are looking for. Considering the causes of conflict, the power of words, our emotions and the role of spiritual disciplines, Muehlhoff offers a four-question strategy that helps us engage any disagreement with gentle conversation. The book closes with three case studies, applying the strategy to real-life, potentially volatile situations. So insightful! Fans of Ken Sande's Peacemaker will love this. Recommend this book to everyone."

-- David Mundt, CBA Retailers + Resources, April 2014

"Conflict can be an indicator light of a relationship trending toward intimacy. Because of this, if we want to experience the joys of long-term, authentic relationships, we have to learn how to navigate conflict well. My friend Tim Muehlhoff gives us a strategy and practical tools to help guide us in having those sometimes unpleasant but necessary encounters."

-- Bryan Loritts, lead pastor, Fellowship Memphis

"This book prepares all Christians to face many of the blunt questions that unbelievers pose to them. It's a good handbook for survival methods during evangelistic outreach work."

-- Church Libraries, Summer 2014

"One doesn't have to look far to find myriad examples of incivility--from political commentators who cut off and ridicule their guests to boardrooms to church and faculty meetings to the dinner table. I can think of no one better than Tim Muehlhoff to provide insight and practical wisdom on how to navigate difficult conversations with grace and truth. Tim doesn't just apply his considerable scholarly expertise and biblical knowledge to the subject; he lives what he writes."

-- Carol Taylor, president, Evangel University