Developing Emotionally Mature Leaders: How Emotional Intelligence Can Help Transform Your MinistryAubrey MalphursBaker Books / 2018 / Trade Paperback$11.99 Retail:3 Stars Out Of 5 5 Reviews
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AmyL3 Stars Out Of 5Developing Emotionally Mature LeadersMay 29, 2018AmyLQuality: 4Value: 3Meets Expectations: 3The idea of emotional intelligence intrigues me. At this point, I haven't been able to do a lot of reading on it yet because of other time commitments. So, when I saw Aubrey Malphurs new book,Developing Emotionally Mature Leaders: How Emotional Intelligence Can Help Transform Your Ministry, I was excited to start reading.
I went into this book hoping for a greater understanding of what emotional intelligence is and how it impacts the way we lead others. Because I have not yet done much research, I read Developing Emotionally Mature Leadersas a blank slate.
Malphurs sought to provide a basic introduction to emotional intelligence, help the reader understand it better, and then put into practice habits that will help you become a more emotionally mature leader.
Developing Emotionally Mature Leaders gives a very broad overview of emotional intelligence, from the viewpoints of several who have studied what it is and how it applies to life and leadership.
I wanted to learn so much from this book. However, I felt like the chapters were disjointed and confusing. Several times, Malphurs stops in the middle of a thought to say he will address it in the future. A few times, the same topic was broken up into multiple chapters, which also made the book feel more disjointed to me. Another struggle for me in reading was that I couldn't discern whether this book was meant to function more as a workbook, as a textbook, or a non-fiction book that is giving a broader overview of a topic.
As someone coming into the topic with a blank slate, I would have benefited from more time spent on providing examples of how emotional intelligence is played out in leadership. The few examples provided were of leaders who failed, and I felt like those examples were unnecessary to the point being made and distracting.
Perhaps if you've already done some research on emotional intelligence, you will find this book more beneficial. Half of the book is resources to help the reader better develop their emotional intelligence, which makes the book a valuable resource.
I received a copy of this book from the publisher. This review is my own, honest opinions.
JYoung4 Stars Out Of 5Pretty good...May 7, 2018JYoungQuality: 4Value: 4Meets Expectations: 3Developing Emotionally Mature Leaders by Aubrey Malphurs, professor of Pastoral Ministries at Dallas Theological Seminary and author of over a dozen books on church consulting, leads Pastors, church staff and lay people to a better understanding of emotional maturity. He spends considerable time in the first half of the book defining emotions, presenting the different historical view points and research of leaders in the field, and describing what an emotionally mature leader is. Scripture is referenced throughout the text and presented as where our emotions come from and how we should see them in light of God's word. I found myself wondering, however, why he seemed to be ok with linking behavior and emotions so closely. He made points about emotions driving behavior and vice versa but there wasn't an argument for the fact that yes our emotions do drive our behavior but that shouldn't be the case. My emotions should not be driving my life train. When I allow emotions to drive the train of my life, I get erratic behavior. Emotions can lie. Instead of allowing emotions to drive our train, truth found in God's word should be what drives us. This doesn't mean that emotions should be ignored, just that they shouldn't be allowed to excuse or decide behavior.A problem arises when we let feelings dictate and determine who we are and what we do. I must find truth in God's word and let it drive me, let it determine my behavior. This truth doesn't lie; can't lie. Malphurs seems to promote a view that is heavily promoting feelings & emotions.
You don't really get into the meat of the book until half way through. The best part is in the appendix. I'm sure people overlook this part of the book because on quick skim through all you might see is assessment. Tucked inside the assessment is application and step by step methods to increase emotional maturity and learn how to be a better leader. Had I skipped the appendices, I would have rated this book 3 stars at most. I felt like the first half of the book and the appendices were disjointed; like there was two books put together. I would have been happy with a simple review of the first half and more expounding information in the second. For example, more practical examples and stories of others would be helpful to illustrate concepts and ideas. The information presented in the appendices is very practical and useful for all types of leaders and I felt like I wanted more. I wanted more connection to my lack of ability to change myself. It was heavy on I- what I can do to change me. It's only through the power of the Holy Spirit that my heart and thus my behavior (in relation to myself and my feelings and others) can be changed.
Overall, this book has good useful information. As with all books, you have to take some of it with a grain of salt. I feel like I can use the information found in this book to increase my leadership effectiveness. "How people feel about themselves when they are around you is vital to the effectiveness of your leadership and the influence that you exert on them for Christ." (Developing Emotionally Mature Leaders p 138)
I received a copy of this book from the publisher in exchange for my honest review.
Scott, M.Div. Student3 Stars Out Of 5Worth Reading, But Not Worth Dropping Everything ElseMay 4, 2018Scott, M.Div. StudentQuality: 4Value: 3Meets Expectations: 3Aubrey Malphurs, Developing Emotionally Mature Leaders.(Grand Rapids: Baker, 2018). $16.99.
Aubrey Malphurs wants the leaders of churches to be emotionally mature. The popular lingo calls this area emotional intelligence, EI, or EQ. Malphurs book, Developing Emotionally Mature Leaders breaks down into four main sections. The first part introduces the reader to the concept of emotional intelligence and its background, the second section brings together definitions, modern scientific study of the brain, and a biblical theology of emotions. The third section provides a couple widely accepted models for emotional growth. What I am considering the fourth section is actually the appendix, as it constitutes approximately one-third of the pages. In the appendix, the reader finds many practical resources and basic assessments.
In the first chapter, I encounter a cringe-worthy statement under one of the six primary assumptions of emotional intelligence. The author states as the third assumption: The hope of the world is an emotionally mature church (16). While I will not assume the author seeks to minimize the essential nature of the gospel and the coming of the Kingdom of God, this sentence is distracting and potentially misleading. Through the rest of part one, multiple brief chapters cover the components, history, and importance of EQ.
At the beginning of part two, Malphurs defines emotional intelligence as an awareness of our emotions and the emotions of others around us so that we can handle well our emotions and theirs (especially the harmful ones), with the result that we relate in a Christlike manner with those within or outside the body of faith. The author looks at what he considered the seven primary emotions according to Scripture: love, joy, hope, jealousy, fear, sorrow, and anger (48-56). He then explains a few different popular models of primary emotions, as there is no consensus among researchers/psychologist. In chapters seven and eight, Malphurs works through a biblical theology of emotions. The conclusion of part two, chapter nine, provides a summary of some popular assessments for emotional intelligence.
Part three walks through the three popular models, and then provides a Leadership Model which draws from Scripture and the other models.
Overall, Malphurs book should be read and considered by many church leaders. Many might find it more helpful to read the secular books first. I generally like reading what the secular authors have written myself because I usually will disagree with the Christian authors attempt to integrate the material. For example, I do have minor qualms with Malphurs understanding of emotion. Without getting into the science, I think the explanation given isnt the most helpful. Nevertheless, I think Christians can benefit from engaging in this discussion.
Too often Christians embrace the stereotypes of men not having emotions and women being controlled by them. Our culture has taught us these things, and they have not been questioned by many. Malphurs draws attention to the need for leaders to understand their emotions and manage them. In our age, men are taught to suppress certain negative emotions, and yet we later see them explode with anger. So often our culture teaches that anger is manly, while not appropriate for women. At the same time, many Christians have been taught all anger is a sin. David tells us in Psalm 4:4 to Be angry, and do not sin; ponder in your own hearts on your beds, and be silent. Rather than ignoring our emotions, we are to understand them and their causes. This is what it means to be emotionally intelligent.
I received a complimentary copy of this book from the publisher for review purposes. My comments are independent and my own.
Clay4 Stars Out Of 5EI--Emotional Intelligence from a Christian Leadership PerspectiveApril 24, 2018ClayQuality: 5Value: 5Meets Expectations: 4Malphurs contention is that Emotional Intelligence (EI) is a needed quality in mature leaders. This subject matter has been lacking within the Christian community. EI has become popular within the last few years and a number of popular books have been written, but from a secular perspective.
After describing a few assumptions of EI and providing a brief history of the movement, Malphurs talks about its importance. He then defines emotion and provides a biblical theology of emotion. A brief description of three models of determining ones EI follow. He delineates the commonality and differences within the models.
The Bar-On model is singled out for further review due to its usefulness in determining which pastors will succeed in building up churches that may have plateaued or be in decline. This model was used by Jared Roth to determine those emotional qualities that would make a pastor successful in helping these churches in need.
Almost half of the book is appendices. The first is a basic emotions audit followed by a set of quizzes to determine if the leader has a tendency toward one of the following emotional disorders: Obsessive-Compulsive; Narcissistic; Paranoid; Codependent; or, Passive-Aggressive. The remainder of the appendices, twelve in number, are designed to provide help for the leader in building skills in an area where she or he might be weak.
Not having read a book on EI, this was a good place to start. Its emphasis on helping the leader with skill-building makes it a very practical book. Any of the appendices that would help a leader at a specific time and for a specific reason, could easily be reviewed, and would provide great assistance.
I found Malphurs to be easy to read and practical, with a wealth of good information.
Baker was kind enough to provide me with a copy for an unbiased review.
wheelsmsChicopee, MAAge: 55-65Gender: male2 Stars Out Of 5The link between emotional intelligence and leadershipApril 7, 2018wheelsmsChicopee, MAAge: 55-65Gender: maleQuality: 2Value: 2Meets Expectations: 2Author and Professor Aubrey Malphurs has developed another tool for building a healthier church. As he has on previous occasions, the author focuses on the topic of leadership. This time he focuses on the emotional intelligence of a leader. This vital concept is often the missing link in teams that function well.
As the author points out, there is very little written on this topic, at least from a Christian perspective.
This book is seminal. At the time of this writing, Im aware of few in the Christian leadership world who are exploring the importance of emotionally intelligent leadership to effective ministry except for an occasional doctor of ministry dissertation. Much of the work on emotional intelligence is being done by those who make no profession of the Christian faith. Ive also found a few dissertations in the world of higher Christian education, but theyre not readily accessible. Hopefully this work will serve to inspire you and others to discover the importance of emotional resonance and to lead according.
The book is divided into four parts. Part 1 provides an overview of the topic and defines the key terms. Part 2 aims to help leaders understand emotional intelligence, including a look at the key emotions found in the Bible. Part 3 gives an overview of three widely accepted models for developing emotional intelligence and then presents the authors model that consists of four skills necessary for Christian leaders. Part 4 includes a number of appendices designed to help implement the authors model.
While not the easiest to read and digest, the book is thought provoking and practical.
Disclosure: I received this book free from Baker Books through the Baker Books Bloggers program. The opinions I have expressed are my own, and I was not required to write a positive review.
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