I have a relative diagnosed with stage 4 cancer. Read and then gave this book to my relative's best friend.

What a truly beautiful book.

Everyone goes through suffering of some kind at some point. Its part of life. There are many types of suffering, but we all have some share in it.

This book by Kara Tippetts and Jill Lynn Buteyn was such a timely read for me. I had heard about Kara here and there but really came in contact with her story around this time last year. Just about the time I received my own scary diagnosis and discovered that I was entering my own hard. Over this past year, Ive been through a lot. And when I began to hear about this new book, I knew it was one I had to read.. sooner rather than later.

Living our stories together, as the back of the book says. Thats what this is all about. Although this book tells the story of Karas cancer, thats not the focus. The focus is Jesus and praising Him through our everyday lives by showing up for each other. By loving each other.

Showing up can take on many forms bringing meals, sending cards and texts, phone calls, flowers, listening, organizing paperwork or calling bill people, transportation to and from treatments.. the list is endless. Sometimes showing up means just simply being available. Just being silently present.

As I read this story of community, God constantly brought to my mind different people who have shown up in one way or another for me over this past year. I prayed for these much-loved people as I thought of each one who has been a blessing in my life. I so related to the beauty that is this book.. the beauty of the community of dear friends that these ladies have written about.

I should warn you.. its not an easy, light-hearted read. There is much discussion difficult situations. But its beautiful just the same because of their honesty and transparency and even smiles in the hard. Its beautiful because I could relate, and Im pretty sure that if were honest, we all can relate to an extent. And anyone who cant.. well, then you need to read this book so you CAN relate. Because being available and just showing up for people who are hurting is something we all need to be able to do.

This book gives insights and ideas if you dont know how to show up for someone, and it describes how to be kind and sensitive and respectful with words.. while at the same time stressing that there just no perfect words and nothing you say is going to fix it. And.. when we let God lead us, He will surely use us in the lives of others, using our specific gifts and strengths to be just exactly what they need.

It reiterates that suffering doesnt mean that God isnt good. We have to learn and choose to believe that He is still always good. Even when the world says otherwise.

Please read this book. No matter who you are. Whether youre suffering or know someone who is, or if suffering and hard times are the furthest thing from your mind. Trust me, you need to read this book.

Ive been considering what food I would liken this book to I cant go with one specific food on this one though. Rather, I have to say that this book is like a meal brought over by a friend. Made or purchased with love, whatever best fits the personality and life of the friend doing the giving. It just fits. You should read the book, and then youll know why.

I enjoyed reading Just Show Up, which feels like a strange thing to type considering that the book is full of hard truths and painful situations. The two authors succeeded in writing a narrative on how to be there for someone who is going through a hard, as they liked to put it. In this case, the hard was Kara fighting a cancer battle that was not to be won here on earth.

Although Just Show Up deals with the sadness of knowing that Kara wont be long for the world, I actually found the book to be very uplifting. It is full of practical advice for how to actually be there and be a true friend to those around us. There are also plenty of amusing anecdotes to keep the reading flowing along and lighten the heavier moments.

I appreciated the direct way both authors wrote about the importance of being someone who actually shows up and jumps in to help, as opposed to saying, Let me know if there is any way I can help. Their advice is so sound.

I think this book is really a must read. We all need to know how to be there to help those we call friends during hard and painful times in their lives. Just Show Up is an excellent guide to encourage us to do just that.

I received a complimentary copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

Parallel Stories of Friendship throughout a Difficult Journey of Suffering and Uncertainty

Just Show Up the Dance of Walking through Suffering Together is packed with concrete, suggestions, supportive ideas, and meaningful information for reciprocal friendship during hard times and suffering. Authors Kara Tippetts and Jill Lynn Buteyn team up to share their story of a deep meaningful friendship throughout Karens life and death battle with cancer.

Kara and Jill explore the concepts of the long good-bye, the ministry of silence, and the gift of presence. They express them from two viewpoints, that of the giver and that of the receiver. Theirs is a story of nurturing friendship through pain and tiredness, insecurity and doubt, of unfathomly hard days, and the beauty and of being surprised by joy on a good day.

Careful consideration of the discussion prompts, are included for opening honest dialog in a group setting or for individual contemplation and will add to the personal impact and value of the book for individual readers; and immense help for anyone experiencing the process of anticipatory grief.

Anyone who had or is going through the suffering of a friend or loved one will find solace, comfort and support throughout the pages of Just Show Up the Dance of Walking through Suffering Together.

A complimentary copy of this book was provided for review purposes. The opinions expressed are my own.

Some of our most important and profound words are said in doorways. Because someone is leaving, words spoken at the door are often more consequential, more weighty. Time is short and must not be frittered away. An entire evening may pass filled with light conversation and meandering stories until its time to say goodbye, and suddenly the flow of words gushes into the streambed of relevance.

In Just Show Up, Kara Tippetts and Jill Lynn Buteyn are standing in the door together, and this record of their words is raw and real. Kara, author of The Hardest Peace, writes from the perspective of a cancer patient in her final days. (Kara passed away in March 2015 shortly after the books completion.) Jill speaks as a close friend who has offered her hands and her heart in service to Kara and her family. What emerges from their shared writing is a chronicle of the painful, long good-by called cancer, many reassuring and sometimes humorous stories about the agony and the awkwardness of a friendship in which cancer is the unwanted third wheel, the helplessness of watching a dear friend suffer, and the need for both parties to put all pretense aside and fall into the rhythm of Gods choreography.

This pouring out of words about friendship and suffering would be enough if that was all that lived between the covers of Just Show Up but its not, for in the way of showing up, Jill and Kara learned valuable and practical lessons about loving and saying goodbye:

The uncomfortable dance of giving and receiving help can be relieved somewhat by clear communication. Being specific is key. For example, rather than vague call-me-if-you-need-anything statements, offer to grocery shop, to provide transportation to appointments, to assist children with school projects.

When you provide a meal, use disposable dishes. Suggest that the family place a cooler on the front steps so that meals can be dropped off unobtrusively without impacting family time. Ask for guidelines on family food preferences and allergies.

Dont visit when you are sick!

Put your giftedness at the familys disposal. If you are a skilled photographer, offer to take pictures of the family. Put your organizational skills to work managing their mail or other details.

Dont become overwhelmed or neglect your own family responsibilities. If you add a caring role to your life, subtract something else to make room for it.

Mourn the loss of your relationship as it used to be, but then find a new normal.

Jill and Kara drew from the wisdom offered in an LA Times article called How Not to Say the Wrong Thing, which described a series of concentric circles with the name of the person who is suffering in the center. From there, place the names of family and friends with this in mind: the closer one is to the person who is suffering, the closer their name goes to the center ring. Using that as a guide, the key is this: Comfort in. Dump out. For example, Jill did not complain to Karas family at all (about anything), but Karas husband was free to be honest with Jill about his struggles and observations regarding Karas decline. As a general rule, if in doubt, err on the side of comforting instead of dumping.

In a way, what we have here is a devastatingly practical book on the theology of suffering and the sovereignty of God. With tears, protesting the suffering, and mourning the brevity of Karas life, both Kara and Jill assert the truth that suffering is not the absence of Gods goodness. Karas suffering and the process of dying were the cause for mourning, but also the occasion for finding the smallest good and expand[ing] on it. Kara made the choice to be transparent about her suffering and to live her final days in a community that wrapped her in love and that continues to support and to love her family. Just Show Up is the story of suffering being redeemed, of God showing up in the midst of community here on earth.

This book was provided by David C. Cook in exchange for my review. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commissions 16 CFR, Part 255 : Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.