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Based on research from more than 10,000 surveys from children and parents of divorce, Collateral Damage presents parents with an overview of the impact that divorce has on their children and offers ways to better serve their needs at this critical time.
Number of Pages: 240
Vendor: Thomas Nelson
Publication Date: 2016
|Dimensions: 9.00 X 6.00 (inches)|
Torn Asunder: Children, the Myth of the Good Divorce, and the Recovery of OriginsMargaret McCarthyWm. B. Eerdmans Publishing Co. / 2016 / Trade Paperback$24.99 Retail:
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What Children Need to Know When Parents Get DivorcedWilliam ColemanBethany House / 1998 / Trade Paperback$14.00
Based on research from more than 10,000 surveys from children and parents of divorce, Collateral Damage presents parents with an overview of the negative impact that divorce has on their children and offers ways to better serve their needs at this critical time.
Approximately fifty percent of marriages in the United State fail. Add to that the increasing number of couples who never marry, have children together, and later go their separate ways. In all of these scenarios, children suffer greatlyoften in silence, as parents do not know how to effectively guide their kids. When the sorrow and emotional issues of children are not addressed, the cycle of divorce is likely to continue for them and in generations that follow. In addition, while children may appear to be resilient and adjusting, without proper support children of divorce are more prone to drug and alcohol abuse, criminal behavior, mental and physical illness, and suicide. How can parents manage their own hurt, shock, anger, and despair so that they can provide their children with what they need?
While Collateral Damage does not advocate divorce, it does sound a wakeup call for parents. It identifies the landmines inherent in the dangerous terrain of divorce and equips them to help their children not to feel abandoned or unheard. Topics covered include:
- Building the familynot losing it
- Tuning into your kids
- Stabilizing childhood
- Maintaining parent/child roles
- Avoiding the parenting handoff
- Keeping kids out of the war zone
- Instilling trust
- Keeping open lines of communication
- Attuning to guiding, spiritual resources
The unfortunate failure of a marriage does not mean the end of the family. Providing a stable, supportive, healthy relationship with your child demonstrates what a loving relationship looks like, better preparing them for intimate relationships and marriage as an adult.
Dr. John T. Chirban has taught classes about relationships, sexuality, and spirituality at his alma mater, Harvard Medical School, for more than thirty years. In addition to teaching at Hellenic College and Holy Cross, he has served also as professor of psychology and chairman of the Program on Human Development for more than thirty years. He is in high demand as an international lecturer on family and spirituality speaking frequently before professional organizations and national societies, and as a guest consultant for magazines, newspapers, and radio shows. Since its inception, he has served on the Advisory Board for the Dr. Phil Show, where he is a frequent guest. He has also served as director of Cambridge Counseling Associates for more than thirty years, serves as a Guardian Ad Litem, in Massachusetts, where he has specializes in helping families through divorce.
Dr. Chirban lives with his children in Carlisle, Massachusetts.
Chand Stone5 Stars Out Of 5Great book!July 3, 2017Chand StoneQuality: 5Value: 5Meets Expectations: 5Divorce was the worst thing for my life. While I wanted to deny that my wife and I were ending, Dr. Chirban confronted my reality head on.
Ray D5 Stars Out Of 5Rachel DJuly 1, 2017Ray DQuality: 5Value: 5Meets Expectations: 5My husband divorced me and left our family quicker than I could even imagine. It was a tragedy to me and totally broke my heart. When I first understood he was leaving, my kids weren't in the discussion, despite them also realizing his actions. While I didn't know how to discuss the divorce with them as it was against our faith, Dr. Chirban's book "Collateral Damage" eased the bridge and allowed me to explain to them our situation and attend to their questions. Dr. Chirban suggested developing new rituals to keep the family in tact. For us, we would eat ice cream every night together. My kids used this as an opportunity to talk and laugh--keeping a close relationship with each other and with God has saved the family! Thank you Dr. Chirban.
Kellen T5 Stars Out Of 5A book for ALL parentsJuly 1, 2017Kellen TQuality: 5Value: 5Meets Expectations: 5This book not only helped me in the middle of my divorce, it also helped me grow as a parent and person. I highly recommend this book to any parent who desires to understand their kids, especially during tough times.
Mother of 4IllinoisAge: 35-44Gender: female5 Stars Out Of 5True guide to surviving the aftermath of Divorce for Parents to help their kidsNovember 29, 2016Mother of 4IllinoisAge: 35-44Gender: femaleQuality: 5Value: 5Meets Expectations: 5Divorce is not the end of the world, but as a parent and having children while it is going on, it certainly can feel like it. Having a guide to help me trudge through the minefields I never thought were there, would have been a huge help. I wish this book came out a year ago! Reading examples of how even the Author dealt with his own divorce and challenges with his children, and reading stories of how other families struggled made me feel like I was not alone in this battle, and that there is hope for my children to not suffer the repercussions of my own failed marriage. They can avoid the damage, or I can at least buffer it for them as much as possible, by guiding them, and being there for them so they dont suffer long term effects that will hinder them in their own relationships. I recommend this book to anyone thinking about divorce, in the middle of divorce, or even after divorce. It is a strong book to carry with you anywhere to read and re-read as often as you need.