Cherish: The One Word That Changes Everything for Your Marriage - eBookGary L. ThomasZondervan / 2017 / ePub$8.995 Stars Out Of 5 13 ReviewsAvailability: In StockStock No: WW82521EB
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Kelly P.5 Stars Out Of 5Lives up to the TitleFebruary 24, 2020Kelly P.Quality: 5Value: 5Meets Expectations: 5This book was filled with encouragement and real examples of individuals coming together and loving each other well and learning to cherish their spouse. I found so much wisdom in principle as well as in practical ways that I can use to cherish my spouse. I enjoyed each chapter and learned something every time I picked up this book to read it. Some books are overviews of topics, but this book gives you real tangible and practical ways to begin to cherish your spouse with each section you read. You don't have to finish the book before you can begin to implement change. My perspective is forever changed for the better because I read this book.
luvtotravel5 Stars Out Of 5Couples RetreatAugust 27, 2019luvtotravelQuality: 5Value: 5Meets Expectations: 5This was perfect for our Church Couples Retreat at Trinity Christian Center NC on the beach.
Samson5 Stars Out Of 5CherishMarch 11, 2019SamsonQuality: 5Value: 5Meets Expectations: 5Great book to take my wife to anther level of what I am called to do as her husband. This is anothe game changer from Gary Thomas
Michele MorinWarren, MaineAge: 45-54Gender: female5 Stars Out Of 5Your Marriage: From Disappointing to DelightfulApril 6, 2017Michele MorinWarren, MaineAge: 45-54Gender: femaleQuality: 5Value: 5Meets Expectations: 5Wood stoves do not render their comforting warmth without regular tending. Fires must be coaxed along with frequent ministrations, and I never give this much thought unless my good husband is away, for he miraculously tends to this important detail, and our house stays cozy and warm. Similarly, since the beginning of our marriage, he has changed the oil in our vehicles, paid our bills, balanced the checkbook, and locked the doors every night, leaving me with the delightful sense of being safe, cared for: cherished.
Gary Thomas writes that this variety of practical love is reassuring to me because it demonstrates that our life together is a priority that is worthy of my good husbands time and effort. Now, with his one-word title, Cherish, he challenges readers to go beyond merely loving our spouses and to live our way into a marriage that feels more precious, more connected, and more satisfying.
Many marriage vows include a promise to cherish, but do we understand what that looks like from the perspective of our spouse, the cherished one? Gary unpacks the concept in terms of learned behaviors that can change everything in a marriage:
Cherishing means learning to hold someone dear.
The Message to the Cherished: You dont have to be anyone other than who you are.
When we allow our spouse to define beauty (or handsome-ness) in our minds, we have begun to rewind history to Eden when each was the only one in the world to the other. Choosing anew every day the one you chose on your wedding day is the antidote to disappointment, discontentment, and critical comparing.
Cherishing means learning to showcase your spouse.
The Message to the Cherished: How can I support you today? How can I make your day better?
For the believer, this includes enhancing one anothers ministry opportunities. We want our beloved to shine! It is based upon the assumption that we have ended the love affair with ourselves. Gary uses the vivid example of a male ballet dancer rejoicing in the standing ovation a ballerina receives because he has supported, tossed, caught, turned, and showcased her. Its all about helping your spouse to realize his/her potential in the world.
Cherishing means noticing and honoring each other.
The Message to the Cherished: I will put your needs above everything else.
Heres the truth in a nutshell: You can honor someone without cherishing them, but you cant cherish someone without honoring them. Wives will feel noticed if their words are taken seriously; husbands are looking for physical affection. For either gender, we honor our spouses when we take an active interest in what interests them.
Cherishing is about protecting each other and killing contempt.
The Message to the Cherished: When I scan you, I will be looking for something to praise not to criticize.
Gary traces the tragic journey from newlywed infatuation through disappointment, frustration, and bitterness to contempt, which is the single biggest threat to a marriages survival and happiness. Practicing fierce gratitude is the antidote to contempt.
Cherishing teaches us to indulge our spouses and, thus, to help heal their spiritual wounds.
The Message to the Cherished: I am committed to your healing and wholeness.
When we nurture our spouse, we provide a picture of Gods cherishing heart. We make our spouses needs a priority and work to discover what actions we can take to help them address their weaknesses and to breathe life into them every day.
Cherishing teaches us to carefully and deliberately use our ears and our words to express our affection.
The Message to the Cherished: I will be deliberate and specific in verbal affirmation and mirror Gods acceptance and affirmation in my words and in my tone.
This may not come naturally, but developing (and maintaining) a curiosity toward our spouses words and activities communicates value. Deitrich Bonhoeffer sums this up beautifully:
Just as love to God began with listening to His Word, so the beginning of love for the brethren is learning to listen to them.
Even unintentional verbal slights can be devastating to a marriage.
Cherishing is about treating our spouse as a unique individual.
The Message to the Cherished: I will help you complete your one-of-a-kind story.
Its time to cast aside generalizations and stereotypical assumptions about what all men or all women do. Understanding bypasses judgment and empathizes while genuinely investing the effort to understand and to accept.
Cherishing means being patient with your spouses sins.
The Message to the Cherished: We both stumble in many ways. I will thank God for you, and, together, we will grow in holiness.
Gary offers six words that can save the day: This is how your spouse stumbles. Accepting that your spouse will never be perfect makes allowance for imperfection without diminishing our appreciation. Apart from this, it is impossible to maintain a cherishing attitude. Furthermore, it is counterproductive to think, I could cherish them if only they wouldnt do x, y, or z. Half of holiness centers around being patient with other peoples sins.
As he did in Sacred Marriage, Gary Thomas has melded practical theology and behavioral principles to encourage believers along in a life that goes beyond the mere fulfillment of marriage vows. Just as my wood stove responds to regular tending by yielding comfort and warmth to my home, a cherishing mindset that is deeply rooted in the Gospel truth that we are continually cherished by God will result in a marriage that radiates a lifetime of warmth and love.
This book was provided by Zondervan through the BookLookBloggers program in exchange for my review. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commissions 16 CFR, Part 255 : Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.
JanetBelton, TXAge: 45-54Gender: Female5 Stars Out Of 5Easily One of the Best Marriage Books I've ReadFebruary 25, 2017JanetBelton, TXAge: 45-54Gender: FemaleQuality: 5Value: 5Meets Expectations: 5The title of this book says it well: "Cherish: The One Word That Changes Everything for Your Marriage." In fact, as author Gary Thomas presents it, cherish could be the one word that changes everything in most of our meaningful relationships. We get to practice and perfect with our spouses, but many of the concepts in this book can be applied to other people we love, too.
"Cherish" is the sequel, of sorts, to "Sacred Marriage." In that book, Thomas explored learning to truly love your spouse. This book, of course, explores cherish. As Thomas explains it, "To truly cherish something is to go out of our way to show it off, protect it, and honor it. We want others to see and recognize and affirm the value that we see . . . when we cherish a person, we will put time, thought, and effort into honoring, showcasing, and protecting them . . . Learning to truly cherish each other turns marriage from an obligation into delight. It lifts marriage above a commitment to a precious priority." The chapters of this book tell couples how.
I highly recommend this book to all married couples, then to anyone who wants to learn better how to cherish people as Jesus does. Zondervan sent me a complimentary copy, so I could share this opinion with you.