Don't Call It Love: Breaking the Cycle of Relationship Dependency
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Don't Call It Love: Breaking the Cycle of Relationship Dependency

Revell / 2015 / Paperback

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Product Description

God created relationships to be beneficial. So how and why are they derailed? Tackling the challenging issue of codependency, Christian counselors Jantz and Clinton share expert insights on phases and fears of relationship dependency, the roles of physical and spiritual abuse, attachment styles, and more to help you recover from negative patterns and find wholeness.

Product Information

Format: Paperback
Number of Pages: 240
Vendor: Revell
Publication Date: 2015
Dimensions: 8.50 X 5.50 (inches)
ISBN: 0800726758
ISBN-13: 9780800726751

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    5 Stars Out Of 5 1 Reviews

Publisher's Description

"You complete me" may be a romantic line in a popular movie, but it's not a healthy basis for a real relationship. Unfortunately, many people are drawn into relationships that are unfulfilling precisely because they are looking to other people to fill in the places where they are lacking--they are looking for a person who will "complete" them. At the heart of relationship dependency is a person's belief that he or she alone is not enough. But using others to provide wholeness simply does not work, because while we are made to be relationship dependent, it is God we must turn to in order to find wholeness.

In a warm, engaging style, Drs. Jantz and Clinton walk readers through patterns of relationship dependency, helping them unravel why they are drawn back to the same dry well of unfulfilled relationships over and over again. Readers will discover how to break the cycle, banish their fears, and find wholeness in the God who designed them to be in relationship first and foremost with him, thus freeing them to find healthy relationships with others. Includes a twelve-week personal recovery plan.

Author Bio

Gregory L. Jantz, PhD, is the award-winning and bestselling author of more than twenty-five books, including Controlling Your Anger Before It Controls You and Hope and Healing from Emotional Abuse. He is the founder of The Center for Counseling & Health Resources, Inc., (www.aplaceofhope.com) in Washington, and hosts a popular radio program, Overcoming with Dr. Jantz. A frequent guest on various radio and TV shows, Jantz is also a regular columnist for the Huffington Post.

Dr. Tim Clinton
is president of the American Association of Christian Counselors (AACC), executive director of the Center for Counseling and Family Studies, professor of counseling and pastoral care at Liberty University and Liberty Baptist Theological Seminary, and a licensed professional counselor. He is also the coauthor of the Quick-Reference Guide to Counseling series of books.

Ann McMurray has coauthored several books, including Controlling Your Anger Before It Controls You. She lives in Washington.

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  1. Debbie from ChristFocus
    Harrison, AR
    Age: 35-44
    Gender: female
    5 Stars Out Of 5
    Gently helps the reader to recognize & change unhealthy relationship patterns
    October 28, 2015
    Debbie from ChristFocus
    Harrison, AR
    Age: 35-44
    Gender: female
    Quality: 5
    Value: 5
    Meets Expectations: 5
    "Don't Call It Love" is a book that describes relationship dependency and how to break that cycle. I've had difficultly understanding why a teenager I mentor seems to seek out chaotic, emotional roller coaster relationships. This book did help me understand where she's coming from, but it's intended to be read by someone who needs help rather than someone who wants to help. The overall tone of the book was encouraging and hopeful.

    The majority of the book was a series of questions, lists, and descriptions relating to relationship dependency. The authors described various traits of relationship dependency, the 8-phase addicted-to-relationships cycle, and the fears that drive this behavior. They explored how emotional and spiritual abuse contributes to relationship dependency. (Spiritual abuse is when someone deliberately uses God's approval--and this someone "speaks" for God--to control another person.) They also explained how brain chemistry can reinforce bad patterns of behavior, how this can be retrained, and various attachment styles.

    Finally, they talked about the truths you need to know to replace the lies that feed relationship dependency. The authors are Christians, so these truths are based on Biblical truths. This included more questions and lists, but these showed how knowing the truth changes the answers that you might have previously given. They also included a 12 week recovery plan that gives a prayer, Bible verse, the truth learned from that verse, and actions to take that week.

    The book gently helps the reader to recognize and admit unhealthy relationship patterns in their lives and encourages them to want something better. I think it'd help someone frustrated with their relationships.

    I received an ebook review copy of this book from the publisher through NetGalley.
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