4 Stars Out Of 5
Abandonment to Forgiveness: Life After Rejection
August 27, 2013
ABANDONMENT TO FORGIVENESS is a 96-page minibook that is part of the Freedom Series created by Michelle Borquez. The authors (Michelle Moore, Paige Henderson, Sharon Kay Ball) share a true story of child abandonment and life-changing principles that turn hopelessness to hope, bitterness to forgiveness, and the impossible into the possible.
Most women have experienced some degree of rejection or abandonment at some point in their lives. Actions by another person that leave them devastated and feeling alone, hurt, rejected, sad, angry, bitter, or unloved. This booklet is about believing the truth about yourself, others, and God, even in the place of abandonment. It is about finding freedom through forgiveness. It is about letting go of the past and what you cannot control, and embracing the future with what you can control: your own choices.
When Michelle Moore was fourteen, the mother she loved very much, that she called her "best friend," walked out of her life with no warning and no explanation. She left without a trace, changed her identity and left no forwarding address. As if that wasn't crushing enough, she experienced further abandonment by people she should have been able to trust. Michelle shares her personal journey from abandonment and rejection to ultimately finding her freedom through the unconditional love of God, and learning to forgive.
Michelle's questions echo what every other abandoned child (or person) wants to know:
-Why did this happen to me?
-Why did the other person get to move on?
-What am I supposed to do with all of this hurt?
The damage of that rejection cut deep and took a great toll. The people around her couldn't understand or relate to the deep pain she carried. When there were no answers, no reasons, no empathy--nothing--the concept of forgiveness didn't seem to make sense. Michelle talks about not being able to get past her past and how she withheld forgiveness because it gave her a sense of control. But later in life when she began to look closer at her abandonment issues, she came to understand that it was a false sense of control. She could not change or erase the past. She questioned: What was it that she really wanted out of life? How did she want the relationships in her life to be that were present, and real?
In the middle section of this booklet, there's a mini Bible study by Paige Henderson (national/international speaker) that takes readers through a list of myths and truths about forgiveness. One of the biggest myths is a little like the chicken and egg question about what comes first: forgiveness or healing? Truth: We can't heal until we forgive. "Forgiving is truly an issue of counting the cost and deciding... that either you can stay bitter and deal with the totality of issues that come with that choice, or you can heal... and live!"
In the last section, "Steps to Freedom," Sharon Kay Ball (a professional licensed counselor) helps define what true forgiveness is and what it is not. She says, "When children are abandoned, they learn very quickly not to trust. They learn how to put walls up to protect themselves so they can survive." Abandonment leaves us with missing pieces, like a puzzle. When we don't understand the "whys" that are a part of our puzzle, we tend to try and fill those empty spaces with misfit pieces (people, things, wrong beliefs) that will never fill them.
She concludes by walking readers through the journey to healing by way of reflection and insight, journaling, the importance of telling their story, appropriately grieving the missing pieces, and through brief but meaningful writing assignments that will help them in their healing process.
This book is about dealing with past hurts in a healthy way so you can move forward in a healthy way. It is about going from abandonment to forgiveness, and moving from victim to survivor.
(Note: Rose Publishing provided me with an advanced reader copy of this booklet)
