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For any woman frustrated by the current state of her marriage and tired of waiting for things to change, this book offers hope. God has already given you the weapons to change your marriage; you just have to use them. Rather than projecting an idealized version of Christian marriage, Nine Thoughts challenges some basic assumptions about marriage, starting with the idea that submission is not an end in itself, but a tool to reach God's true goal of onenesss.
Number of Pages: 240
Publication Date: 2015
|Dimensions: 8.00 X 5.19 (inches)|
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When youve put into practice all the usual advice, but your marriage still falls short of the intimacy and joy you want, what then? Are patience and perseverance your only hope for a better relationship?
Author and speaker Sheila Wray Gregoire says, "Absolutely not!" The solution to a happier relationship is not found in being a more patient, more perfect wife, but in taking responsibility for what you can doand especially for how you think about your marriage. She challenges you to replace pat Christian answers with nine biblical truths that will radically shift your perspective on your husband, your relationship, and your role in Gods design for marriage, including…
· My Husband Cant Make Me Mad
· Being One Is More Important Than Being Right
· Having Sex Is Not the Same as Making Love
With humor and honesty, Sheila invites you to believe that God wants to bring oneness and intimacy to your marriageand challenges you to partner with Him in that process by changing the way you think.
About the Author▼▲
Sheila Wray Gregoire is a popular speaker, marriage blogger, and the author of seven books, including The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex. She loves encouraging women in their relationships, both with God and with their husbands, children, and friends. Her passion is for marriage, and she and her husband Keith speak together at marriage outreaches and at FamilyLife Canada marriage conferences. Sheila believes in authenticity, and gives real solutions to the very real and messy problems women, and couples, can face.
Nine Thoughts That Can Change Your Marriage▼▲
- Happiness is like a boomerang; Aim for it and you'll get smacked. (Romans 8:29; Micah 6:8)
- You married your husband, not the potential inside of your husband. (Romans 12:18; John 21: 20-22)
- God is on your husband's side, too. (Darn it) (Matthew 25: 31-46)
- The aim of marriage is oneness, not hierarchy. (John 17:21, 1 Corinthians 1:10)
- You're called to be a PeaceMAKER, not a PeaceKEEPER. (Matthew 5:9; Matthew 18: 15-17)
- If you win a marriage battle, you'll likely lose the war. (Luke 14: 31-33)
- You can determine your thoughts. (2 Corinthians 10:5; Philippians 4:6,7)
- Having sex is not the same as making love. (Genesis 4:1; Psalm 139: 23, 24)
- You will never drift together; you can only drift apart. So don't drift! (Matthew 25: 1 - 13)
Sheila on "Nine Thought That Can Change Your Marriage"▼▲
Marriage is messy. We desperately yearn to feel like we're one, but too often our spouse gets in the way of all of our sweet dreams. And when we've tried all the typical advice - just pray, just duck and wait for him to change, just hold your tongue and be nice and he'll adjust, too - what do we do then?
What if making marriages work is more than just submitting and respecting? What if God gave us a far greater arsenal for forging intimacy - and we've ignored it?
9 Thoughts That Will Change Your Marriage will point people to deep truths which, if we understand them, will empower us to grow our marriages, even if those marriages are messy. You do have the ability to change your marriage. It's not about sitting back and waiting and playing the "duck" game - but actually joining the battle and being part of what God is trying to do in your family.
Fawn Weaver, New York Times best-selling author of Happy Wives Club
"What a wonderful book! Sheila has such a delightful writing style that you forget youre learning so much. The teaching points are inspiring, and the action steps truly can be marriage-transforming. Many readers will particularly appreciate Sheilas delightful way of challenging conventional wisdom as she offers freshly applied biblical wisdom. One of the best things you could do for your spouse, your children, and your own happiness and contentment in the coming year is to read and apply Nine Thoughts That Can Change Your Marriage."
Gary Thomas, author of Sacred Marriage and A Lifelong Love
"The truths in Nine Thoughts That Can Change Your Marriage hold the power to revolutionize relationships. Sheila Wray Gregoire gives it to us straight: we can be happy, we can have the good marriage that God designed. But first we need to change our thought life. As Sheila challenges pat answers and common misconceptions about what makes a marriage work, she offers an alternate, hope-filled path. Her real-life examples and biblically rooted insights will free you to approach your marriage with a transformed attitude and renewed energy."
Shannon Ethridge, relationship coach, speaker, and author of the bestseller Every Womans Battle
"In this lively and engaging book, Sheila doesnt just explode cultural myths about marriage and relationship and replace them with biblical truth; she also provides ultrapractical tasks for wives to apply every bit of their new knowledge. I love the emphasis on working on yourself first, rather than trying to change your spouse. Way to go, Sheila!"
Shaunti Feldhahn, social researcher and best-selling author of For Women Only
"Weve all heard the adage, It takes two to make a marriage work. And its true. But with Nine Thoughts That Can Change Your Marriage, Sheila Wray Gregoire gives women powerful tools to make a huge difference in their marriages all on their own. Instead of focusing on what our husbands should do, Sheila helps us focus on what we as wives actually can do. Actionable, empowering, and freeing. A must read for every woman who wonders if her marriage could be better."
Kathi Lipp, author of The Husband Project and Clutter Free
"Although an honest personal assessment can be painful at times in marriage, it is worth it. Sheila takes us on a journey of discovering how our personal thoughts may be interfering with our marriage and gives us practical steps on how to make the lasting change we long for and desperately need!"
Ruth Schwenk, speaker, author, and creator of TheBetterMom.com
"For as [she] thinks in [her] heart, so is [she] (Proverbs 23:7, nkjv). Sheila wisely helps women think healthy thoughts so they can create a healthier marriage. Think honest, loving, practical, biblical, relevantthose are the kind of wise thoughts Sheila will help you think so you can discover the power to build a love to look forward to living."
Pam Farrel, best-selling author of forty books, including Men Are Like Waffles, Women Are Like Spaghetti and Red Hot Monogamy
"In Nine Thoughts That Can Change Your Marriage, Sheila Wray Gregoire challenges spouses to take the focus off of what their marriage partner is doing wrong and, instead, change their own thought patterns to see their spouse in a whole new light. What I love most about Sheila is that she writes from experience, not just theory. She is transparent about how her own faulty thinking created struggles early in her marriage, and she celebrates how God redeemed her situation to create the beautiful relationship she now enjoys with her husband. Through this, readers will be encouraged that a transformed marriage relationship just may start in changing their own way of thinking."
Erin Odom, creator of TheHumbledHomemaker.com and author of Your Retreat: A Guide to Giving Yourself a Personal Planning Day
gcwfarmgirlOhioAge: 18-24Gender: female5 Stars Out Of 5A refreshing readJanuary 14, 2016gcwfarmgirlOhioAge: 18-24Gender: femaleQuality: 5Value: 5Meets Expectations: 5A refreshing new book to the sea of relationship books. After reading so many marriage/relationship books it's hard to find one the you not only agree with but one that also teaches you something new.
Sheila Wray Gregorie tackles tough subjects tackling real life problems with real life solutions.
She goes through (as the title says) 9 thoughts that can make a huge impact on your marriage. Though I am not married, I've read my fare share of marriage books, and I loved this one!
"Because a great relationship doesn't happens by accident,"-Sheila makes you look yourself in the mirror and helps your see how you can make good changes to your marriage instead of waiting around for your husband to do it....my mom (whose been married for 27 years) 'stole' the book from me and read it cover to cover several times, she even went on and purchase other books by Sheila Wray Gregoire-she loved this book that much!
This book is definitely added to my must read marriage relationship books.
I received this book from Blogging for Books in exchange for an honest review. All opinions expressed are my own.
pastor Randy5 Stars Out Of 5Great readOctober 7, 2015pastor RandyQuality: 5Value: 5Meets Expectations: 5As a family pastor, I greatly appreciated this approach to marriages for women to consider. This will be a "go to" resource for me as I counsel couples and their marriages.
RuthSophia5 Stars Out Of 5Great Book Whether Your Marriage is "Good" or Needing TLCAugust 19, 2015RuthSophiaQuality: 5Value: 5Meets Expectations: 5My husband and I have been married going-on-three-years. I know, ancient. We have a great marriage. It's not perfect (neither of us are), but we've grown a lot and worked through things together. We understand each other better now, and we try to make sure we're fighting for each other, not with each other.
Even though we're blessed to be in our relationship and for it to be so strong already, I'm always trying to learn new ways I can better serve my husband. Because I love him. I thoroughly enjoyed Shelia's To Love, To Honor, and To Vacuum so when I had the opportunity to review her newest book Nine Thoughts that can Change Your Marriage, I jumped on it.
What Shelia does in this book is very important. She gives you the tools you need to change your marriage. A change starts with you. Oh, she doesn't ignore the reality that your husband may be at fault, but she shows that by changing how you think in 9 areas, you can make a difference in your marriage regardless of if he changes or not.
It sounds lofty, but here's the lovely part: each thought Shelia makes totally actionable.
Take her first thought, as an example: My husband is my neighbor.
Here are her action steps:
How well do you know your husband? Every day for the next two weeks, ask your husband something new about him - and share something about yourself.
Show your husband he is your priority. Put on makeup for him, greet him at the door, or kiss him before you kiss anybody else.
Tell your husband daily why you love him.
Make confession part of your prayer life every day - and apologize whenever you feel an inkling that you have done wrong.
Practice random acts of kindness. Choose two to three from pages 28-30 to make into habits.
Now, the books is not just a list of thoughts and action steps. Shelia takes time to talk about each point and really make them applicable, candidly sharing her experiences and how these thoughts and actions helped turn her marriage from one of frustration to one of fun.
This is a great book regardless of if you feel you and your husband are at odds. My husband and I have already worked through some of this in our time together. When I read why and how Shelia recommended going about some of these suggestions, I really felt validated that my husband and I were doing a good job of working together.
But that's not enough.
I want to make sure I don't let things stagnate, and I found this book full of practical suggestions to make sure I'm taking care of my husband and our marriage, which, after my relationship with God, is my top priority ... and the best gift I can give to our children.
I received a complimentary copy of this book from Blogging for Books in exchange for my honest opinion.