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Cafe Lily Book Reviews
4 Stars Out Of 5
Practical advice, mixed with humor and wit
May 5, 2012
Cafe Lily Book Reviews
For those wanting practical advice on marriage, with some humor and wit mixed in, Poppy Smith's newest book offers both. In her quirky and sometimes "tongue in cheek" style, Poppy covers everything from how our brains are wired differently from our husband's, to what men hear when their wives speak. And though the book is interesting and lighthearted at times, Poppy addresses some very serious issues such as sexual abuse, painful pasts and emotional baggage. Questions for self-assessment are included in each chapter as well as scriptures for encouragement.
WHY CAN'T HE BE MORE LIKE ME? is the title of a new book by Poppy Smith. It is especially addressed to her "sisters," those who have committed themselves to following Christ but having difficulties due to their recognition that their husband is more different from them than they could have imagined.
Her central themes include these: God really does know what is best for you
You can't change your spouse, only you
You aren't perfect or complete either
Your disparate experiences and temperaments, goals and genders can be an asset as well as a source of problems
The foundation of her early life is exhibited in both her wise and unwise choices, but subsequent to her commitment to Christ, another foundation began to be laidâ€”to do what God wanted her to do. She learned that "marriage isn't to make us happy, but holy" (Gary Thomas, SACRED MARRIAGE). She also learned there was nothing about obeying God that didn't apply to her.
In light of that commitment to obedience in comparison to her experiences, she discusses concrete examples of troubles a couple can face and how or how not to address them. Those examples from her experiences as a teacher and wise counselor, lend to the reader's appreciation of the many ways a husband is different from his wife. These include chapters on the most common problems facing all of us married for more than 15 minutesâ€”money, conflict, communication, sex and several more. I was especially impressed by the discussion of the impact of negative self talk in the section on ANTS.
Her writing is articulate and pertinent while being convicting and encouraging and I appreciated the tender prayers at the end of each chapter for her "sisters." Additionally, she is confident that the improvement in our marriages "is God's work and He will pour all you need into your heart by His Spirit." This book is one way of God's using the author to do just that for readers in stressful situations.
I would recommend this cogent, easily read book for couples, not just wives, interested in understanding the sources of difficulties in the marriage and who seek to have the fulfilling relationship they dreamed of when they met their spouse. I will also be recommending this author and book to the Marriage Commission of the Christian Medical and Dental Associations. One of their 50+ ministries is to the marriages of physicians and dentists and their spouses.
The subtitle to this book, 9 Secrets to Understanding Your Husband, expresses just how simple and easy to understand this book is! It is a very organized and practical book with loads of helpful advice on ways to have a better relationship with your husband. I want to stress that this book is not just for wives but would also be great for any woman who is engaged!
Understanding where you both come from and what you want out of the marriage are two of the most helpful pieces of advice in the book. Seeing how our parents were together can influence how we treat each other. Understanding that concept will change how the two of you relate to each other. Making sure to frequently talk about where you want to be in the future also helps keep you walking down the same path at the same time!
I gave this book 5/5 stars because it was easy to read and understand. Each chapter had helpful and practical advice and would be a great present for any woman in a serious relationship.
I would like to thank NetGalley and the publisher for the copy of this book I enjoyed reading. I gave an honest review based on my opinion of what I read.