Far more than a simplistic check-list that potential suitors must go through to achieve paternal approval, Baucham has written a mini-apologetic for marriage, biblical manhood, and yes courtship, within one accessible volume.While the standards he presents are rarely found in young men today, Bauchams list is not pulled from personal preference or flights of fancy. Each of his listed qualifications is pulled directly from the pages of scripture, as the Word of God explains what husbands should, and must be if they are to follow the call of God on their lives.Working through the importance of marriage between believers, male leadership, sacrificial love, welcoming children, and a young mans potential to serve as priest, prophet, and provider to his wife, Baucham carefully builds an image of what these latent traits may look like in a single young man, drawing from scripture, biographies of notable Christian men, and the words of church fathers. He both debunks false requirements for potential mates (most notably ethnicity and heritage) and encourages fathers to undertake disciplining potential suitors in the required skills new husbands will need if they are found lacking.I cant recommend What He Must Be more highly. Written primarily to fathers I can easily see families with children approaching marriageable age digging into this together and catching a collective vision for the future.
This book is a must read for every parent. It does not take a genius to figure out that the current cultural model of dating is devastating our children. Many of our own lives bear the scars of our culture's divorce preparation also known as "dating". It is only by the grace of God and in spite of ourselves, our culture and our past that many of us have marriages that remotely resemble the relationship between Christ and the Church.So what is a parent to do? In a culture that has bought into the pagan based ideas of romantic love this book brings to light the biblical pattern for a godly man and calls parents to accept nothing less. In clear practical language Dr. Baucham outlines both the text of scripture and paints a real world picture of what God's standard for men looks like.This book will challenge every man to examine his own life to see how he measures up to the standard of God. It is truly humbling to read these pages and see where I fall woefully short. However, like any good shepherd Dr. Baucham points us to Jesus who stands ready to forgive if we are truly repentant and will empower us to become the men he intended.Regardless of whether you are raising sons or daughters the truths outlined in this book are essential. For parents of sons it will challenge you to think through your preconceived notions and step up for the sake of both your son and his future family. For those raising daughters it will raise the call in your life to partner with your daughter and God to fulfill your biblical role in her life and courtship.
Ask Voddie Baucham how to best prepare for leadership and ministry and he may tell you to get married and have children. You may be wondering what that has to do with helping your daughter choose a suitor. The answer is that it has everything to do with helping your daughter choose a suitor. This book is directed at Christian parents, especially fathers. As followers of Christ it is the fathers duty to lead and minister in his own home first. If you arent sure what this looks like, you may want to consider for yourself the qualities Voddie suggests we should be looking for in our daughters future husband and instilling in our sons who will most likely be husbands themselves some day. The first part of the book lays the groundwork for the vision and thought behind these counter-cultural ideas. Chapter one expresses the need for fathers to have a Christ-centered multi generational vision that extends to the children, grandchildren and beyond. Chapter two describes marriage as a ministry, explaining how marriage is a fertile training ground for future church leaders as the Christian marriage illustrates the relationship of Christ and the church to a lost and hurting world. Chapter three explains a fathers role as he exercises gospel patriarchy.Chapters four through eight lay out the qualities we should be looking for in our daughters potential suitors and instilling in our own sons. Chapter nine discusses the importance of protecting our daughters purity, heart, focus, future spouse, and hope. Chapter ten talks about the importance of raising our own sons to be Godly men and describes how our influence as fathers will influence our daughters choice of potential suitors. The conclusion offers some thoughts on the issue of ethnicity in relation to marriage and children.If youre a father, I strongly encourage you to pick up a copy of What He Must Be if he wants to marry my daughter.