I rarely read a book twice, but when I was given the opportunity to receive a free copy of the 2012 Edition of The 5 Love Languages of Children by Gary Chapman and Ross Campbell for review, I was eager to do so, particularly since my daughter was so young the first time I read it that I could not determine her love language at the time. Too be honest, even with the Love Language Mystery Game to help determine a child's love language, I still cannot be sure of my daughter's even though she is old enough that I should be able to do so. There is nothing wrong with the concepts described in the book, I think it is just that my daughter seems pretty balanced as she receives all five gratefully and gives all five as well, which I believe suggests that her father and I successfully have been keeping her "emotional tank" full most of the time.
The book proposes that as loving as parents may try to be, a child may believe his parents love him, but may not feel loved because the parents are not speaking in the child's love language. While one child may be happy with a gift when the father comes home from a business trip, another child may not feel loved by getting a gift because his love language is quality time. This book helps parents to determine which of the five love languages--physical touch, words of affirmation, quality time, gifts, or acts of service--a child appreciates and needs the most as well as how the parent can help the child to feel loved. It also stresses that every child needs all five, but one will be predominate.
I highly recommend this book for all parents, particularly those who are having difficulties with their children, but it is beneficial even to those who think they have happy, loving children. Probably just as important as understanding how to speak in the child's love language is how to discipline with love without causing damage to the parent-child relationship by using a type of punishment that empties the emotional tank; a chapter is devoted to this subject.
If you are like me and have a 1997 Edition, let me explain the main differences I noticed between the two books, besides the change in the cover. The earlier edition often referred to keeping the emotional tank full would help to avoid drug use and teenage sexual promiscuity, which was not in the latest edition. In the 2012 Edition, there were some updated statistics and reference to a book Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother by Amy Chua that was published in January 2011. Some of the names in the stories had been changed to more popular names at the time of the rewrite. The most notable addition was the list of suggestions to speak the child's love language at the end of each corresponding chapter. Otherwise, there were only minor editing changes here and there. I did think that the hand print in the heart on the cover of the first edition was a better depiction than the green rubber boots with flowers, but that is a minor point.
I received this book for free from Moody Publishers in exchange for my honest review.
While I found the online assessment from this book to find my children's love languages very helpful, I did not enjoy the book.
I did think the tips at the end of each chapter on how to speak your child's "language" were helpful, but the book just didn't interest me. I already knew what languages fit with my children, so there was no new information for me to glean.
"Disclosure of Material Connection: I received one or more of the products or services mentioned above for free in the hope that I would mention it on my blog. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will be good for my readers. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission's 16 CFR, Part 255: "Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising."
The 5 Love Languages of Children takes the concepts originally written about in the original 5 Love Languages book, and seeks to apply them to parenting children. Dr. Gary Chapman and Ross Campbell describe the emotional need of a child to have a full "love tank" where they feel unconditionally loved, and then they describe the 5 basic ways that a child needs to be loved to achieve that full tank. These languages include physical touch (i.e. hugging or kissing a child); words of affirmation (telling a child how appreciated or beautiful they are); quality time (a child receiving focused, undivided attention from their parent); acts of service (a parent serving their child with an attitude of love, such as helping a child fix their bike); and gifts (giving a child a gift as an expression of love). Although children need to be loved using all of these languages in different ways, each child will primarily give and receive love using one of these languages.
I found that this book was very well-written, laid out in an easy-to-read manner, and incredibly useful to me as a parent. The authors clearly explain the concept of the love languages and how they apply to children, and as I was reading I was able to consider my own children and how they need to be loved. For example, I know that my oldest daughter's love language is physical touch, and that nothing tells her she's special so much as having a hug from dad or a snuggle with mom. I really appreciated how the end of each chapter on a certain love language lists specific ideas for how to convey a particular love language to your child. These ideas are practical and doable, and I will definitely be consulting these lists many times over the years. The authors have also done an excellent job of explaining the concept of the languages throughout the developmental stages of children, such as how they may apply when children are young as opposed to when they are teenagers. This book contains valuable concepts that are not only helpful to me as a parent, but are also important for my children to learn and apply in their own relationships as they grow up.
I highly recommend this book and give it 5 out of 5 stars.
Disclosure of Material Connection:
I received this book free from Moody Publishers as part of their Blogger Review Program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own.
I love the book, but detest the eBook format. I purchased here, but repurchased immediately with another digital format in order to be able to read offline. If I can download to my computer, I've not been able to find it.