5 Stars Out Of 5
An Honest Review
December 11, 2014
Albuquerque, New Mexico
I have been meaning to write this review for over a year now. Let me first say that I am a recovering sex addict, I have a minors in Christian counseling (and will eventually have a graduate degree in it) and as such I will give a very honest review of this book.
This book by Rogers is a great book; although, I have not finished reading all of it (there is a reason for this). The material in the book is a definitely must have to understand the background of the porn industry. In fact, this book and the material in it broke my dependence on pornography almost immediately. It did take a while to read most of the chapters, but it caused me to stop- it changes your thinking about porn and viewing women. In essence it helps you stop objectifying woman and points the way you should go.
Rogers touches on a point that most do not think about. It is more of a theology about the addiction and industry than a point he makes. The brief theology that he expresses is if the addict views porn, and according to the Bible, he is guiltier than the wounded people behind the adult industry. It is far too lengthy for me to go into detail as to how this is, but Rogers basically explains that God will hold the addict more responsible for buying porn, funding it, and fueling the industry more than those men that produce it. So, to act out sexually is equivalent to the abusive and tragic things that is embedded in the book. This changes the thinking of the addict. Most addicts are not prone to this idea, because most have been abused too. So for some addicts, this book takes that weakness and turns it into a strength. But there is a few problems here because of this.
First, the reader must be careful. If a sex addict is reading this book, or any one with a history of trauma, he/she may have feelings that continually surface. This book can easily cause a traumatic event to resurface- to relive a moment. If this is the case for you, then read it slowly, in accountability, and perhaps in public.
Second, because of the details in the book, this book becomes a natural book for addicts in precontemplation and contemplation. Precontemplation is the phase in which addicts refuse, deny, do not want to admit they need help, do not make a plan or goal for change, and that are stuck in their addiction with a state of hopelessness. Contemplation is the phase where the addict no longer denies or resists, admits he has a problem, but fails to take action towards it- he needs encouragement. If you resonate with any of the above emotions then this book is for you. However, if you do not then a word of caution is advised. If you are in recovery or in the phase of planning for action, action, or maintenance, then do not read this book. This book, with the material and details inside, will cause a relapse. You should wait till you have recovered, sought treatment, or feel that you are ready to read it. If you choose to do so read the first few chapters and then take a break. I never finished reading all of the book. It became almost too intense for me. It also caused several relapses for me but it did break my porn addiction. The reader should be aware that pornography is nothing more than an extension of sex addiction- the addiction is much more. So, this book is limited in what it can do.
Third, this book is not necessarily designed just for men. It is very hard to find books that are designed for the female sex addict or both. This book, due to the nature of it, will help women see why they are acting out, why they have a problem, and what they should or can do. Moreover, due to the theology points that Roger pushes on, it will definitely benefit a female. Although a word of caution is needed for the female sex addict. It may be too close to home for you to read this book due to the nature of how addictions start, especially for females.
Lastly, this book is done in a loving and peaceful way. Rogers approaches the issue with a sense of peace towards the addict. This helps break resistance and denial. He also encourages the addict to get help and advises where you are to go. Now, I never entered treatment due to this book. It is perhaps ineffective to do so. The addict needs another book that is more encouraging and motivating to produce that major step to reach out for help. Yet, for others it may be strong enough. Rogers use of theology and Scripture for each chapter is a big benefit. You do not feel like you are just reading a dirty book, you are reading a road to finding the healthy outlet that God created our sexuality for.
Other books that I recommend reading with this book include: Mark Laasers (2004) Healing the Wounds of Sex addiction; Mark Laaser and Ralph Earles (2012) The Pornography Trap: A resource for ministry leaders; and Douglas Weiss (2008) The Final Freedom: Pioneering Sexual Addiction Recovery.
I hope this honest review helps you.