The Respect Dare is a book that has challenged me in my faith with God and in my marriage. My husband and I were struggling in our marriage and this book showed me how to appreciate him, submit to him, and respect him all without losing myself in the process. I would recommend it to any woman who is married, whether for 40 days, 40 months, or 40 years. Grab a friend and study it together for even more growth.
I have been married for 28 years and my husband and I have had our ups and downs. The premise of this book is a good one. My one concern though is that if a newly married or soon to be married woman gets this book and thinks if they do everything in this book and they are still having problems in their relationship they will think that it is all their fault because after all they did everything in the book. What this book doesn't really cover is that it takes two for a relationship and if you are working hard on your marriage but your husband isn't or vice versa the relationship will suffer not matter if you are following the advice of this book or not.
We are to respect our husbands and this book helped give me some new ideas of how I could show that respect. I would use this book as just that an idea book to use as a springboard. Don't use it as a how to book.
I received an ebook review copy of this book in exchange for my honest opinion from Booksneeze review program.
Ephesians 5:33 says, "Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband." Paul's advice essentially explains some primary needs in a marriage. Most wives want to feel loved and most husbands want to be respected. Simply concept, difficult application. What does it really mean to respect your husband? Should you respect your husband even if he's lazy? What about if he's irresponsible and the electricity gets turned off? What if he doesn't deserve your respect? Nina Roesner challenges wives to take 40 days to learn to respect your husband - whether he deserves it or not.
The Respect Dare: 40 Days to a Deeper Connection with God and Your Husband by Nina Roesner is similar to The Love Dare, popularized by the Christian movie, Fireproof. It's hard for me to review The Respect Dare because I feel like it is a mixed bag. It has some awesome marital advice. There are things that I absolutely agree with and things that I want to implement into my own role as a wife. However, I felt like some of the example stories didn't resonate with authenticity. I don't doubt that they are true, but maybe in the retelling some of the genuineness got lost. I also didn't agree with some of the advice and the small snippets of Scripture supporting those pieces of advice weren't enough to convince me. I needed more explanation and to see how those verses really related to my marriage and personal walk with God.
I also felt like there were some mixed messages. One one hand, the author made it very clear that a wife does not need to stay in an abusive situation or become a doormat. On the other hand, there were several times that it seemed like the message was to respect your husband no matter what he does.... even if it means leaving your child with someone you don't feel is safe, or letting the power get turned off, etc. I understand that people sometimes need to learn by experiencing consequences, but I also believe that the wife's role as helpmate does not mean that you have to let yourself and your children suffer because of your husband's poor choices. In fact, I believe a wife has the responsibility to help her husband grow by being the "iron sharpening iron" and likewise for the husband.
Like I said, The Respect Dare had some great advice and some not-so-great advice, in my opinion. For that reason, I give it three stars - it's okay, but I just don't believe/agree with some of what's said.
Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this ebook free from the publisher. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission's 16 CFR, Part 255: "Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising."
My friend and I wanted to start do a women devotional but wanted to start with something small and simple. This book has been great because the chapters are small and easy to read. The exercises at the end are very thought provoking and are easy to discuss with someone else.