No More Perfect Kids: Love Your Kids for Who They Are    -     By: Jill Savage, Kathy Koch
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No More Perfect Kids: Love Your Kids for Who They Are

Moody Publishers / 2014 / Paperback

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Product Description

Frustrated with your kids? Keep in mind that they're created in God's image, not your own! One of the best gifts parents can give their children is to set them free to be all that God created them to be and release them from unrealistic expectations. Writing in a friendly tone with practical ideas, Jill Savage and Kathy Koch, PhD provide inspiration and tactics for dealing with tough parenting issues including perfectionism, contentment, digital technology, uniqueness, disobedience, weaknesses, change, purpose, and helping children with special needs.

Product Information

Format: Paperback
Number of Pages: 224
Vendor: Moody Publishers
Publication Date: 2014
Dimensions: 7.5 X 5.5 X .56 (inches)
ISBN: 0802411525
ISBN-13: 9780802411525
Availability: In Stock

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Publisher's Description

Love Your Kids for Who They Are.

Mom and dad, your kids are created in God's image, not your own. Jill Savage and Kathy Koch will guide you in truly appreciating your kids. They will teach you how to study and become an expert on your children, because you cannot fully embrace them until you truly know them.

Written in a passionate, candid, and personal tone, the authors will instill within you hope and contentment. You'll be inspired to apply the practical, realistic, and relevant ideas and tactics Jill and Kathy share.

Special needs kids will also be addressed in the book.

Author Bio

JILL SAVAGE is an author and speaker who is passionate about encouraging moms. She is the author of six books including Real Moms...Real Jesus, Professionalizing Motherhood, My Hearts At Home, and Is There Really Sex After Kids? Featured in Focus on the Family, Today's Christian Woman magazine, and Family Life Today, Jill is the founder and Executive Director of Hearts at Home, an organization designed to encourage, educate, and equip women in the profession of motherhood. Jill and her husband, Mark, have five children and make their home in Normal, Illinois.

DR. KATHY KOCH is the Founder and President of Celebrate Kids, Inc., a Christian ministry based in Fort Worth, Texas. She is an internationally celebrated speaker who has influenced thousands of parents, teachers, and children in over 25 countries through keynote messages, workshops, seminars, assemblies, and other events. She also blogs regularly at www.DrKathyKoch.com.Dr. Kathy's newest book, coauthored with Jill Savage, No More Perfect Kids: Love Your Kids For Who They Are, helps parents understand why they must get to know their children to parent them wisely. How Am I Smart? A Parent's Guide to Multiple Intelligences helps parents understand their children's learning strengths. Finding Authentic Hope and Wholeness: 5 Questions That Will Change Your Life provides a solution-focused, enriching approach to real problems. Her book, Screens and Teens: Connecting with Our Kids in a Wireless World, will be published in March, 2015.Dr. Kathy earned a Ph.D. in reading and educational psychology from Purdue University. She was a tenured associate professor of education at the University of Wisconsin-Green Bay, a teacher of second graders, a middle school coach, and a school board member prior to becoming a full-time conference and keynote speaker in 1991.

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  1. Ohio
    Age: 35-44
    Gender: female
    5 Stars Out Of 5
    An excellent book for all moms and dads from a Christian worldview
    April 7, 2015
    OhioSarah
    Ohio
    Age: 35-44
    Gender: female
    Quality: 5
    Value: 5
    Meets Expectations: 5
    I had the pleasure of reading another of Dr. Kochs books, titled How Am I Smart?, and when I met Dr. Koch at the homeschool convention last year, she gave me No More Perfect Kids that she co-authored with Jill Savage. Yes, its taken me almost a year to read and review this book and I apologize to both authors for that, it has been a crazy year. One of the things Im guilty of as a mom is wanting my children to be who I think they should be, arent we all? I want them to do this or that or make them do things they dont want to do instead of listening and learning who they are as individuals, uniquely created by the Lord. In their book Savage and Koch, want to teach moms and dad how to love your kids for who they are, often times our children feel unloved and unwanted and devalued because we arent learning who they are and if we dont take the time to do that we cant fully embrace them and give them the love they need.

    Using questions that children often ask such as:

    Do You Like Me?

    Am I Important to You?

    Is It Okay Im Unique?

    Who Am I?

    Am I A Failure?

    Whats My Purpose?

    Will You Help Me Change?

    The authors use these questions and build on them from a Christian and Biblical worldview, which is what makes this book so good, its not based on mans word but on Gods Word. I think the chapter that resonated with me the most is the, Am I A Failure?, I think most of us at one time or another struggle with feeling like a failure either in the eyes of our parents or in the eyes of the Lord. The authors address that as parents we may hear or ask some things like, I think I might be gay, Im pregnant, your child has dyslexia (that one is mine), or what are those cuts on your arms? They reiterate that as parents we are not failures, our children are not failures and our God is bigger than any of these and more Hes got this. It is how we deal with it. The authors gives parents the tools to use to help them overcome the toxic idea that our children have to be what we want them to be, and let them be the people that God created them to be, using Scripture.

    I know Im going to re-read this book and really begin to implement some of the ideas in our house Ive had a hard time in trying to be the perfect Christian parent and trying to get my children to be who I want them to be instead of the creative, active and imaginative children they are. Jill Savage and Kathy Koch have written a fantastic book, its not all the answers, even the authors admit theyve messed up and sometimes still do and through the real life stories of other moms we can see how our human-ness gets in the way and until we let God do His job were going to mess up. Whether youre a mom of one or a mom of nine or twenty this book has a lot of helpful information in it to get you loving your children for who they are.

    **I was given a copy of this book from the author in exchange for my honest opinion, no other compensation was given.
  2. Age: 18-24
    Gender: female
    5 Stars Out Of 5
    Perhaps an indispensable volume.
    April 1, 2015
    Sufficient in Jesus
    Age: 18-24
    Gender: female
    Quality: 5
    Value: 5
    Meets Expectations: 5
    Jill Savage and Kathy Koch have a theory- every parent has two sets of kids.

    The first set is the ones you always dreamed about, the Perfect Kids.

    The second set are the Imperfect Kids, the ones you sometimes don't even recognize as your own.

    You envisioned a reader, you got a fashion designer. You hoped for an aspiring doctor, he wants to me a mechanic.

    You want to pass on your love of people, she's an introvert. You adore music, the stuff screaming from his iPod is a din.

    "These are mine?" Yes, they're wonderful, but they're nothing like you dreamed of!

    So what is a parent to do, when dreams and reality are sometimes far apart?

    How do you surrender those dreams and embrace the real live children you've been given?

    Thankfully, Jill and Kathy understand all about this. And they've written this little book, packing all 270 pages full of practical wisdom, to help you engage with and love your Imperfect Kids.

    This book is framed around seven questions, questions rarely voiced but ever-present in the human heart.

    Each chapter looks at why children feel this way, and then talks about parental responses that will help the child as they grow.

    These basic questions keep reoccurring through life, and you may find that you're still asking them today- openly or unconsciously.

    One: Do You Like Me? "Of course, I love you!" No. Do you LIKE me? As one girl observed to Dr. Kathy, love was almost a guarantee. They're her parents, after all. But she didn't feel liked. And liking is a combination of being wanted, seen, heard, and received with compassion.

    Two: Am I Important to You? We spend a lot of time asking this question one way or another, in each relationship we're part of. You know you're important when someone cares about what you're Doing, Thinking, and Feeling.

    Three: Is It Ok I'm Unique? What makes us unique will often drive us crazy until somebody helps us find a hidden strength in the middle of it.

    When Dr. Kathy was young, she didn't want to be tall. It took creative parents providing good opportunities to help her appreciate her height.

    This chapter reminded me- You have to dig beneath the surface of an annoying complaint to see if there's a genuine concern that the person is afraid to share.

    Four: Who Am I? {Could have been subtitled "The Scariest Question in the Universe." How the heck do we begin to answer this one?}

    Perhaps we've made the question too large and intimidating. Jill and Kathy show that we can help kids by providing positive identity statements often.

    "You are God's, and you are Loved" is a great start. "You are a loyal friend and a clever problem solver" is a great addition. Whatever you come up with, it all boils down to "You are a unique and unrepeatable miracle!"

    Five: Am I a Failure? This question is most terrible when you're afraid to ask it, when it just rolls around inside your head. Everybody needs a safe listener, who can hold a heavy question like that. We can build up the truth that nobody is a failure by learning how to process mistakes in a healthy way.

    The purple marker stain is a good place to begin- focus on solving the problem, and if it's unsolvable, give grace to yourself and the kid.

    This chapter also addresses the Big Stuff- the mistakes no parent wants to see their child make. The ones that change their life. Even then, Jill and Kathy insist, God is present in it all.

    Six: What is my Purpose? Again, let's start small and local. You can help your child experience purpose by giving them chances to make a difference. It sounds too simple, but in my experience it works. Whatever chance you have to help somebody or serve somebody, let the kids help meet those needs.

    Seven: Will You Help Me Change? If what we see in the kids around us are areas requiring growth and maturity, then we'd better be prepared to help them achieve it. Helping somebody else change presumes that we ourselves are committed to healthy choices, vulnerability, and honesty. As always, coat the process liberally with grace. Neither adults nor children find change easy- children's struggles just happen to be more evident.

    Jill and Kathy may have written an indispensable book, here. It could certainly set you on track to "Loving Your Kids For Who They Are."

    I thank MP Newsroom for my review copy.
  3. Texas
    5 Stars Out Of 5
    They Aren't Perfect, and Neither Am I
    May 11, 2014
    Book Loving Mom
    Texas
    Quality: 5
    Value: 5
    Meets Expectations: 5
    "Children have no control over their ability. They do have control over how they use their ability - and that's a matter of character" (Savage, Jill and Kathy Koch. No More Perfect Kids, pg. 206).

    I have been blessed to be a part of the launch team for Jill Savage and Kathy Koch's new book, No More Perfect Kids. These ladies are phenomenal in their writing and encouragement to parents everywhere. This is not just a book for moms; it's for anyone who parents children.

    I think it's easy sometimes to forget that your children are little people with minds and emotions. We want the best for them, we want them to be so much more than we were, and in doing that, we can have very unrealistic expectations of them. This book answers questions of how to show our children that we love them, that they are important to us, and guiding them to find their purpose in life. Not only are the chapters honest and easy to understand, the appendix gives valuable and usable information that parents can use in practical ways. For example, there is a chapter called "Character Qualities to Develop in Your Children." How helpful! It puts words to the thoughts and goals we have, but this book provides realistic ways to act.

    Obviously, Jill and Dr. Kathy have a heart for parents and kids, and it comes through in the material they've written so eloquently. This book does not make any accusations of parents' mistakes in raising their children, but it does cause parents to think about the ways in which they engage with their children. I don't know about anyone else, but I've made many parenting blunders, and I'm grateful to know that there's a way to change and repair what might have been broken by my own hand.

    I wrote an email to Jill after reading No More Perfect Moms, and I was asked if she could use it for this book. I said yes, so my story is written, too. It was a tough time for me, but what healing came knowing I'm not alone.

    We all have parenting stories of not knowing what to do, but if you will read this book, I can say that if something starts to go awry, or you think, "I don't know what to do in this situation," the concepts written here just may come to the forefront of your mind and give you hope, too.

    I definitely recommend that all parents read this book cover to cover. It's helpful, insightful, and encouraging.
  4. Virden, Illinois
    Age: 25-34
    Gender: female
    5 Stars Out Of 5
    April 23, 2014
    MrsKparrish
    Virden, Illinois
    Age: 25-34
    Gender: female
    Quality: 5
    Value: 5
    Meets Expectations: 5
    All mommas, new or otherwise, should read this book. It's a great follow up to No More Perfect Moms. I learned so much about my self as a parent and about the precious babies I am given to raise. Jill and Kathy speak wisdom and truth from scripture to the hearts of mommas!
  5. Fairport, NY
    Age: 35-44
    Gender: female
    5 Stars Out Of 5
    A Must Read for All Moms
    April 22, 2014
    Julia Reffner
    Fairport, NY
    Age: 35-44
    Gender: female
    Quality: 5
    Value: 5
    Meets Expectations: 5
    Do you ever struggle with expectations for your kids? Are you looking to your kids to fulfill dreams in your own heart? Do you struggle with being a perfectionist? Chances are you may not even realize some of the expectations you have put on your children. I know I didn't before picking up this book. Social media, listening too closely to the voices of others, and our own misconceptions can stifle the growth of our children into who God created them to become.

    Most moms struggle with the gap between the imagined and the "real" child. Jill Savage and Kathy Koch attempt to teach moms to embrace who your children are rather than who you wish they were. Each chapter includes stories from real moms just like us who are learning and growing from their mistakes in the motherhood journey.

    How do we encourage our children when they do make mistakes? Savage and Koch offer practical ideas for offering grace to our children and showing them that they are not defined by their worst moments (a lesson perhaps most moms need to learn as well).

    After applying this loving acceptance, we can learn to help them with the process of change to live out all that they are in Christ.

    No More Perfect Kids concludes with an extensive appendix section including: age-appropriate tasks for your children of all ages, Bible verse prayers, a dictionary of character qualities you might be attempting to develop in your children, scriptural blessings you can pray over your children, and a children's reading list with character building books for all ages. There is also a leader's guide with questions. These questions are excellent reflection questions to expand on the book.

    Practical, engaging, and true to the everyday experience of moms, No More Perfect Kids helped me to realize the expectations I had unwittingly put on my children and showed me the reality of embracing the beauty and difficulties of parenting. It helped me see how Christ is using my children to mold and shape me as well as them. Highly recommended for all moms.
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