Real Marriage: The Truth About Sex, Friendship, & Life Together  -     By: Mark Driscoll, Grace Driscoll
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Real Marriage: The Truth About Sex, Friendship, & Life Together

Thomas Nelson / 2011 / Hardcover

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God has a lot to say on the topic of sex and marriage. He planned both and gave them to us to be enjoyed. In Real Marriage, Mark and Grace Driscoll share biblical truths on issues you may be facing. They discuss how to be your spouse's best friend, porn addiction, sexual assault, becoming an unselfish lover, and many sex questions you might be embarrassed to ask anyone. Hardcover.

Product Information

Format: Hardcover
Number of Pages: 240
Vendor: Thomas Nelson
Publication Date: 2011
Dimensions: 8.38 X 5.50 (inches)
ISBN: 140020383X
ISBN-13: 9781400203833
Availability: In Stock

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Publisher's Description

Most marriage books assume the author did it right. Most marriage books barely mention friendship. Most marriage books use “intimacy” as code for “sex.” This is not one of those books.

In Real Marriage, Pastor Mark Driscoll and his wife, Grace, share how they have struggled and how they have found healing through the power of the only reliable source: the Bible. They believe friendship is fundamental to marriage but not easy to maintain. So they offer practical advice on how to make your spouse your best friend – and keep it that way. And they know from experience that sex-related issues need to be addressed directly.

Five chapters are dedicated to answering questions like:

  • Should I confess my pre-marital sexual sin to my spouse?
  • Is it okay to have a “work spouse”?
  • What does the Bible say about masturbation and oral sex?

Stunningly honest and vulnerable, Real Marriage is like a personal counseling session with a couple you cannot surprise, you cannot shock into silence, who will respond to every question with wisdom, humility, and realism.

If you want to have a long-lasting, fulfilling marriage you should read this book. Wrestle with this book. Pray over this book. Share this book. And discover how God can use it to change your life.

Endorsements:

“If you’re married or plan to be someday, do yourself a favor and read every page of this book.” —DRS. LES & LESLIE PARROTT Founders of RealRelationships.com and authors of Love Talk

“Whether engaged, newlywed, or veteran, Real Marriage will serve as an invaluable resource. I highly recommend this book.” —ANDY STANLEY author of The Grace of God and Senior Pastor, North Point Community Church

"One of my greatest concerns is that culture is going to continually define and redefine what marriage is and is not, and the church is going to simply sit on the sidelines and react rather than seeking to actually become proactive by confidently teaching what the Bible has to say about it.  That is why I am so thankful that Mark and Grace Driscoll wrote this book.  Their approach to marriage, its benefits and challenges are transparent and challenging and I honestly believe that every married couple who will work through what they lead us through in this book will not just merely have a marriage that survives in this world but rather thrives in it." — PERRY NOBLE Senior Pastor, NewSpring Church

"Our thanks to Mark and Grace Driscoll who have served this generation well by tastefully but boldly addressing the real issues facing real marriages. Taking the unchanging truth of God’s word and sprinkling in is the story of God’s mercy in their own marriage they have filled every chapter with real helpfulness. This book is powerful, biblical, practical and healing for marriages that hurt. My wife and our adult children read it to great profit." — DR. JAMES MACDONALD Senior Pastor, Harvest Bible Chapel and Bible teacher for Walk in the Word

Author Bio

Mark Driscoll pastors Mars Hill Church in Seattle, Washington, one of the fastest-growing churches in the nation. He is the author or coauthor of twelve books, including Real Marriage and Doctrine: What Christians Should Believe. Mark and his wife, Grace, have five children.

Grace Driscoll is a graduate of the Edward R. Murrow School of Communication, Washington State University, where she earned a BA in Public Relations. She delights in being a stay-at-home mom, where she and her husband, Mark, raise their three sons and two daughters.

Endorsements

With more and more couples living more like business partners rather than friends, we don't need another safe, sterile marriage book. We need a direct, compassionate and realistic view of what marriage is, what it can be, and how we can lovingly befriend our spouse for a lifetime. Mark and Grace have helped all of us who have vowed "I do" to wildly enjoy our spouses. - Darrin Patrick, Lead Pastor, The Journey, St. Louis, MO

Real Marriage is brutally and sometimes painfully honest. Further, it is frank and direct in addressing a number of important marital issues. Sometimes you probably will feel uncomfortable. And, you may not agree with everything Grace and Mark Driscoll say. We didn’t. However, this is a book we will gladly use and recommend to others who care about healthy, biblical marriages. We believe both husbands and wives will be blessed by and benefit from its content. Grace and Mark are to be commended for writing a book that bares their souls and, more importantly, points to the redeeming power of the gospel in the sacred covenant called marriage. - Charlotte and Daniel Akin, Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary

Wow! This is the most vulnerable marriage book we've ever read. It's honesty will take your breath away. Mark and Grace expose their relationship – its pain and passion – for all who care to learn the rudiments of real marriage. They don’t dance around the tough issues. They don't tip-toe over dicey topics. The Driscolls jump in with wild abandon and the result is a book that is frank but not crass, practical but not pedantic. If you’re married or plan to be someday, do yourself a favor and read every page of this book. - Drs. Les & Leslie Parrott, Founders of RealRelationships.com and authors of Love Talk

At last…a marriage book that balances pastoral compassion with prophetic courage! The taboo questions every couple secretly wants to ask are courageously confronted without compromising God's Word or will for couples. Mark and Grace have taken the subject of marriage to an unprecedented place of true transparency, profound practicality, and scriptural solidity...which is a place every marriage needs to be. - Bob Coy, Senior Pastor, Calvary Chapel Fort Lauderdale

Mark and Grace have written an extraordinary book characterised by compassion for a bewildered generation which has failed to grasp the significance of marriage and covenant love, conviction that God's grace and truth provide healing and guidance, and courage to go where few would dare to go as they display a costly and selfless transparency. - Terry and Wendy Virgo, New Frontiers and Church of Christ the King, Brighton, England

One of my greatest concerns is that culture is going to continually define and redefine what marriage is and is not, and the church is going to simply sit on the sidelines and react rather than seeking to actually become proactive by confidently teaching what the Bible has to say about it. That is why I am so thankful that Mark and Grace Driscoll wrote this book. Their approach to marriage, its benefits and challenges are transparent and challenging and I honestly believe that every married couple who will work through what they lead us through in this book will not just merely have a marriage that survives in this world bur rather thrives in it. - Perry Noble, Senior Pastor, NewSpring Church

Thank you Grace and Mark for your extraordinary transparency and spot-on biblical insights. Whether engaged, newlywed, or veteran, Real Marriage will serve as an invaluable resource. I highly recommend this book. - Andy Stanley, author of The Grace of God and Senior Pastor, North Point Community Church

While some sections will be controversial, this book as a whole is a wise, insightful, biblical, and startlingly honest guide to a happy marriage. Mark and Grace Driscoll rightly warn about the long-lasting consequences of sexual sin, point the way to a very happy marriage in obedience to God, and bravely address questions that are rarely brought up in a church setting. We are happy to recommend it. - Wayne and Margaret Grudem, Phoenix Seminary, Phoenix, AZ

Our thanks to Mark and Grace Driscoll who have served this generation well by tastefully but boldly addressing the real issues facing real marriages. Taking the unchanging truth of God's word and sprinkling in is the story of God's mercy in their own marriage they have filled every chapter with real helpfulness. This book is powerful, biblical, practical and healing for marriages that hurt. My wife and our adult children read it to great profit. - Dr. James MacDonald, Senior Pastor, Harvest Bible Chapel and Bible teacher for Walk in the Word

Real Marriage is a powerfully transparent perspective on marriage for all couples, both single and married. - Miles McPherson, Sr. Pastor, Rock Church

Publisher's Weekly

High-profile pastor Driscoll and his wife, Grace, have not only pulled back the curtain on the condition of marriage but have opened wide the door to their own home, taking readers into arguments, dating life, mistakes, and healing in their own marriage. While written from a theological point of view, they also did their homework in a wide range of therapeutic marriage books and have done thousands of hours of counseling and teaching marriage seminars along with their regular teaching in their Seattle church, Mars Hill. This is a book about married friendship, sexuality, healing broken marriages, and “reverse engineering” a marriage that will last—beginning with a vision of the end result and working back toward that. It includes no-holds-barred chapters on sex—how Mark held sex as “god” and Grace as “gross” and how they together discovered sex as a “gift” from God. The Driscolls’ Neo-Reformed views come shining through, with much emphasis on sin’s role in wrecking marriages today and Christ’s role in redeeming them. Taken to heart and put into practice, this boldly refreshing approach can change couples across America by letting God do the changing. (Jan.)Copyright 2011 Reed Business Information.

Product Reviews

4.2 Stars Out Of 5
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(2)
Quality:
4.3 out Of 5
(4.3 out of 5)
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4.1 out Of 5
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  1. 5 Stars Out Of 5
    book
    October 2, 2014
    ben
    Quality: 5
    Value: 5
    Meets Expectations: 5
    meet my expectations & answered my questions
  2. eldridge, ia
    Age: 35-44
    Gender: male
    5 Stars Out Of 5
    going where many fear to go
    December 9, 2013
    pastordrew
    eldridge, ia
    Age: 35-44
    Gender: male
    Quality: 5
    Value: 5
    Meets Expectations: 5
    i had fairly high expectations for this book and was very pleased with how even my expectations were exceeded. mark and grace go places that most marriage books fear to go. this is not a book about sex, contrary to all the rumors when this book came out. sure there's a bit of reference to it, but sex is only a facet of the marriage relationship. they do a good job addressing this issue. what's worth even more is how they deal with issues of friendship in the marriage, as well as hard topics of abuse. i've not read any marriage studies that addressed this last issue. very profound chapter that deals with all the junk that can remain in a person's life after they experience abuse. easy reading (except for the convicting parts!) and contains some nice stories/illustrations that help maintain interest and give insight.
  3. Prague, Czech republic
    Age: 25-34
    Gender: female
    5 Stars Out Of 5
    Very good book
    March 12, 2013
    Monika Vlckova
    Prague, Czech republic
    Age: 25-34
    Gender: female
    Quality: 5
    Value: 5
    Meets Expectations: 5
    I really like this book.

    The book is splitted to 3 parts, 2 of them are large and they are devoted to marriage and to sex. I really like that book is written by man and woman so there are displayed attitude of both partners. Also I appreciated honesty and openness of this married couple, when they admitted their mistakes in their marriage. I believe that practical illustration from life of real people can show us their point of view and understand what they wanted to say.

    I also like their researches and very interesting survey into history, where they draw attitude of different churches about sex in marriage. At the end of second part, which is all about sex, I like very interestingly compiled questions, which authors very often got during a period. But it´s not just simple questions, there are 3 other accompanying questions, which authors answer. I will show you example, every reader can see answers on these questions - is it lawful, is it helpful and is it enslaving?

    In the third part of the book we can see something like a guide, which can help us, if we need to improove our marriage, change our dirrection, change the way where marriage comes. It´s real plan, which use Mark and Grace for their marriage, but every reader can modify it. There are a lot of questions, which every couple can answer for themself and build new strategy for their future. At the end of the book are notes and index.

    And my opinion? Book is helpful for thinking about our marriage, if everything is right and it can help, if we find out that we have problem. I think that everybody will find something, what show us our imperfection, but we can find answers and hope, that nothing is lost. I recommend this book.
  4. Manila, Philippines
    Age: 35-44
    Gender: female
    5 Stars Out Of 5
    January 15, 2013
    Jennie
    Manila, Philippines
    Age: 35-44
    Gender: female
    Quality: 5
    Value: 5
    One of the books I finished read together with my husband before 2012 ended was Real Marriage, The Truth About Sex, Friendship and Life Together by Mark and Grace Driscoll. I have quite a handful of thoughts about this very controversial book. While I would love to tackle on each and every controversial detail, I am only limited to a number of words. Since as a Thomas Nelson book reviewer, we are not encouraged to be lengthy, and make the review too informative.

    And despite the two issues that I do not exactly agree with in this book, I strongly believe that it is a good book filled with Biblical principles married and engaged couples can greatly benefit from. As we go shopping for decor for valentines day, this can go well as the perfect gift for one's better half.

    More on: http://www.marriageandbeyond.com/2013/01/15/book-review-real-marriage-by-mark-and-grace-driscoll/
  5. Virginia
    Age: 35-44
    Gender: female
    5 Stars Out Of 5
    Transparent honesty
    October 7, 2012
    Daws1996
    Virginia
    Age: 35-44
    Gender: female
    Quality: 5
    Value: 5
    Meets Expectations: 5
    While lots of things have changed my marriage for the better, only a very few have enacted dramatic changes. One was learning about personality types from the hilarious Florence Littauer. Another was Gary Chapman's The Five Love Languages.

    This week I'm adding Real Marriage: The Truth about Sex, Friendship and Life Together by Mark and Grace Driscoll to the list of books that made a dramatic difference.

    Mark Driscoll is the pastor of Mars Hill Church in Seattle, Washington. He and his wife bravely opened their lives in order to help others. Within the book they deal with questions such as why friendship with your spouse should be of supreme importance, what disrespect looks like to a man, and who gets to decide if the husband is being loving enough.

    They also deal with some culturally explosive topics head on, much of which has received a lot of media attention and put them under fire from both liberals and conservatives. They talk about pornography, sexual abuse, fantasizing about other people, what is and is not permissible in the bedroom. And it's all handled well, adding applicable research and appropriate first-hand testimonies.

    Even better! The Driscolls have provided additional resources so that couples can use whatever means necessary to have conversations about the topics in the book. Is one or both of you not a reader? Not a problem! You have options.

    First, Mars Hill Church has posted the sermons Pastor Mark did on this book. All eleven chapters are available through eleven different sermons on the church website by clicking here. You can watch the videos or download the podcasts. Much of the content of the book is covered in the sermons. I appreciated these very much because they allowed me to see Mark's heart as he spoke instead of just reading the words on a page and wondering how deeply he felt about the issues.

    If one or both of you prefer a DVD-based study to do together, you'll want to check that resource out by clicking here. I do not have the DVD, but I have been told that if you want to do this particular study on DVD, you will also want to buy the book.

    Despite the controversy surrounding this book, I feel it is an incredible addition to the toolkit to help and support your marriage.
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