Dr. Emerson Eggerichs' book, Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires, the Respect He Desperately Needs, is based on the biblical passage from Ephesians 5:33 (But every husband must love his wife as he loves himself, and wives should respect their husbands - GODS WORD® translation). His premise is that communication between a husband and wife is often frustrated because of the vastly different ways in which men and women perceive love. Women are wired to need unconditional love and men need to feel unconditionally respected. Revitalize the love in your marriage! A Focus on the Family Recommendation; hardcover.
Based upon Ephesians 5:33 and extensive biblical and psychological research, Dr. Emerson Eggerichs reveals the power of unconditional love and unconditional respect and how husbands and wives can reap the benefits of marriage that God intended.
Average Rating: 4.5 out of 5 stars(4.5 out of 5 stars)
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4.5 out of 5 stars
Reviewed by Anthony Romo (Fort Worth, TX), November 12, 2009
Love & Respect (L & R) has been great to know how our needs are programmed by God. Not only the needs of our spouse but our own needs. L & R help me to also see that in conflict, my spouse is a good-will person and to look at myself to see if I have been unloving or disrespectful. Great book to help keep our marrage strong.
5 out of 5 stars
Reviewed by Michelle Tripp (Gilbertsville, PA), November 06, 2009
My husband and I purchased this book for our small group. This book has been so informational. I suggest to read this book! Its wonderful!
5 out of 5 stars
Reviewed by Laura Patterson (Fort Collins, CO), November 05, 2009
This book is amazing. Dr. Eggerich explains Mens need for Respect so clearly, and Womens need for Love so perfectly. I give this book as wedding gifts because it has been so helpful in my own marriage, I think every man and woman, married or single should read it.
5 out of 5 stars
Reviewed by wjcollier3 (Tyler, Texas), October 21, 2009
Just as there seems to be no end to conflict in marriage, there seems to be no end of books to address this conflict. Love & Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs is hands down one of the best of its genre. While most of the others focus on loving each other in a way they understand, Eggerichs focuses on the deepest needs of a woman’s and a man’s hearts. For a woman, that need is love. It is the way she is wired by God. That is why men are commanded to love their wives. They crave it. They need it. For men, that need is respect. As Eggerichs points out, that is why Ephesians 5:33 does not tell women to love their husbands. That is natural for them. Remember, they are wired for love. They are commanded to respect their husbands. That is what their husbands need. When husbands are unloving toward their wives and wives are disrespectful toward their husbands, it creates a cycle of this behavior. Eggerichs calls this the “crazy cycle”. In part two of the book, he gives practical advice for husbands on how to show love toward their wives and for wives on how to show respect for their husbands. He uses the acronyms COUPLE for how to show love and CHAIRS for how to show respect. You will have to read the book to find out what they stand for!
Of all the books on marriage I have read, this one stands out as one of the most practical. Its helpfulness is due to its simplicity. I highly recommend this book. It is appropriate for married couples, regardless of how long they have been married. I think it is also appropriate for couples preparing for marriage. It could be used in a small group setting and a companion workbook is available.
More information about Love & Respect can be found at Thomas Nelson’s product page. I am a member of Thomas Nelson’s Book Review Blogger program.
4.5 out of 5 stars
Reviewed by Peter L (Melbourne, Australia), October 16, 2009
Relationships have been, and will continue to be, a hot topic. Anyone who has been a serious relationship will know, it isn’t easy. Arguments, conflict, fights seem to unavoidable. More and more, statistics show that divorce rates are increasing year after year. With rising problems, there are plenty of relationship-help-books available on the market, even more so within the Christian market. Yet, few books, so I’ve found, offer deep and effective insights into the core problem. However, Dr. Emerson Eggerichs’ book – “Love & Respect: the love she most desires, the respect he desperately needs” offers a new, insightful, perspective on the issue at the heart of most relationships. As the title suggests, the issue? Women need love and men need respect. Eggerichs’ opening two chapters introduce Eggerichs’ journey and outlines the basic premise of this perspective. Throughout the rest of the book, Eggerich develops the practical application of this perspective in different areas.
Eggrichs’ text is well-balanced sharing insights from both the husband and wife’s perspective. The wife’s perspective, as he shares in his introduction, is drawn from his wife. As a team, they have been speakers at various relationship seminars throughout the US. The dual-perspective allows Eggrichs to give emphasis to both sides, while biased to the male perspective, and share his insights, relatively, equally between the two. It is an easy read, yet Eggerichs’ insights are challenging and thought-provoking. The book does not claim to be an overnight sensation and neither is its message. Definitely one to be re-read regularly to revisit matters that may have been over-looked.
5 out of 5 stars
Reviewed by Mary Westgate (Salem, MO), October 14, 2009
I am very blessed to be a part of the blogger review team with Thomas Nelson Publishing. I am also blessed to have a boyfriend with an amazon account.
Dr. Eggerichs' book, Love and Respect is a life changing, marriage transforming book that helps you put its principles into practice. It is a book that I am continuing to study and put into action.
Most of the "relationship self-help" books out there tend to tell men what they need to know to improve how they treat their wives...Love and Respect goes way beyond that, it addresses the core relationship needs of both men and women!
It hits the key biblical elements of having not only a good marriage, but a great one! Dr. Eggerichs brings the Biblical "secret" of Ephesians 5:33, alive in a way that has been overlooked. He explains not only, the importance of unconditional love to a woman, but unconditional respect to a man and gives example after example of how to put these principles into action.
Reading Dr. Eggerichs' book has had a huge impact on me and I believe revolutionizes the way husbands and wives communicate. It is an excellent resource for couples preparing for marriage, with good marriages or marriages that are struggling. Don't miss it!
5 out of 5 stars
Reviewed by Trish (Puerto Rico), October 07, 2009
This book is one of the MOST important studies on marriage my husband and I have experienced. It truly helped us understand some of the conflict we were having and how to correct it. It can help ANY marriage at ANY stage! Dr. Eggerichs really understands men and women and the dynamics between them. He gives practical advice on how to implement his teaching as well. We loved it so much, we purchased the DVDs (from his website: loveandrespect.com) in order to share with other couples.
3.5 out of 5 stars
Reviewed by Chew Keng Sheng (Malaysia), October 05, 2009
In Love and Respect, Emerson Eggerichs uses Ephesians 5:33 and dissected it to show that the love a wife longs for and the respect a husband yearns for mutually compliments each other in order to build a solid foundation of a marriage.
The first seven chapters form the first part and this basically deals with some of the common problems husbands and wives face. While it is good that the author shared many real life examples, nevertheless, I find that there are just too many testimonies and stories. And this has made the reading of this part very tedious and lengthy. Probably the author could have saved some of these testimonies to be included in an online supplementary section or in a blog or in the Love and Respect website, etc. Having too many testimonies tend to result in a loss of focus of the gist of the message.
Part 2 (chapters 8 - 22) is about the energizing cycle, where the author spelled out the six aspects of the love that a husband needs to show to his wife, and the six aspects of the respect that the wife ought to give to her husband.
The love that a husband should show to his wife can be defined by the acronym C-O-U-P-L-E. Whereas, the respect that a wife should give to her husband can be defined by the acronym C-H-A-I-R-S.
Despite with too many illustrations, I still do find this book to be pretty useful. To me personally, the greatest value of this book lies in the concrete and specific suggestions and steps found at the back of each of the chapters in Part 2. I find these suggestions to be very helpful, and can be easily turned into a-resolution-a-day kind of exercise. In other words, this book is actually more of a "to-do" book rather than a "to-read" book. As such, this book, should be more concise, direct to the point, focused, trimmed down, and should include more interactive features and questions for the readers to think and to reflect as they go along. - Chew/Review under Thomas Nelson Book Review Bloggers
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