I was sent this book as a gift when I contacted the Focus on the Family counselors after my wife left me and filed for divorce. I just bought 24 to give to my church and counselor to have available to give to others in this situation. It was exactly the book I needed, and now I am praying that it is not too late. (It is never too late for God)
Through the course of the well organized chapters, questions, and assignments, God spoke through Dr. Chapman and answered every question I had about how to approach this process, how to pray, what reconciliation might look like, and what it means to have hope. Additionally, he spoke- almost verbatim- and addressed many of the things that my hard-hearted wife has said. He is very clear- along with the other truth speakers in my life- that she may never change her heart. That God in His love will allow her to remain hard, and to walk away. But, at least now I have hope, answers, and direction.
I'm not giving up, and neither should you. Christ the bridegroom never gives up on us, His bride. If you, or anyone you know is going through this, get this book and read it or give it to them. Don't feel like you are being an imposition. They may not appreciate it at the time, but if you love them, you will show you care. And this book can give them words.
This is a great read for separated couples who are hoping to reconcile. It gives great biblical advice on how to love your spouse and how to love yourself. It also gives great practical advice on the same. Even if only one wants to reconcile, I highly recommend this book.
This book was good, I liked how he used parallels to the Bible etc.
However his suggestion on page 30 about how to end an affair was really wrong and tragic. I also let one of my friends who is a therapist to read it and she also became very upset.
You should NOT tell the other person anything about you feeling for him/her, that will just make them to continue have contact you and have a open door for you etc. These feellings are wrong and are not from God, only real love is from God. These feelings are sent from the enemy to destroy marriages and it would be sooo wrong and tragic to tell the other person in such a wrong situation about positive feeling for him/her. My husband did exactly this with the other woman and you can imagine what happened. She continued to contact him, would not leave him alone. In her world he loved her and she had her lust and the enemy on her side so why not manipulate him and get him when he has given him a reason?
Do you understand how stupid that is? I don't understand how a therapist can suggest anything like this?! He should know better. He knows exactly how manipulative these other people can be and that these feeling are just lies from the enemy!
The suggestion from my experience is that when you want to finish something so wrong and disgusting you don't even meet the person. You call the person and tell her or him that it was so wrong what happened and that you LOVE your wife/husband and want to do anything to win them back and restore your marriage. I never had any feelings for you, I was fooled and deceived. Tell the person; respect me and NEVER EVER contact me again!
This is the only right way to cut off something sooo wrong! Don't ever feel sorry for the other person 'cause they knew exactly what they got into. Put your energy on your own marriage and the gift God has given you, that you have damaged.
This was a very inspiring book. It gave me lots of comfort and helped me look at my marriage problems in a different view. Also helped me focus on what I could do to possibly help my marriage and improve myself.