We heard Dr. Kimmel speak several years and were very impressed with what we heard. As a result, we purchased this book and it revolutionized our approach to parenting. Prior to reading this book, we were quite harsh and legalistic with our kids and we could see how it was harming them and causing them to rebel. We still have high standards for our children; this book does not recommend removing standards.
But now, we parent our kids out of grace and love whereas before it was all about performance and discipline. Since we caught hold of this teaching when our kids were young, we were able to eliminate corporal punishment. In fact, we rarely have to discipline our kids at all. We teach them what's right, and we lovingly but sternly correct them when we feel it's necessary.
Our oldest daughter is now 16, and she has transformed from a rebellious, stand-offish, emotionally closed off girl to a sweet, loving 16 year old who loves God, proclaims the Gospel boldly and without fear, and is comfortable with love.
Our other two children, ages 14 and 11, also love God. They seek Him out and read His Word, and they readily share the Gospel with their friends. They do these things because they want to; we do not "force" them to do these things. In other words, they do these things as an act of their will, not out of fear or obligation.
People, including kids, do have free will. And unfortunately, people can get in the ditch with any teaching but in our experience, when employed correctly, Grace-Based Parenting is the best method we've found for raising Godly young people who are well-prepared for life. We'll always be deeply indebted to Dr. Kimmel for this amazing book!
I'm not finish yet, but so far it has put my toes back on the ground.its touches on the very basics going back to understanding of grace---then living it daily...it help me to think when am angry at my children,to do evaluation of my anger and my approaches.parents gets angry so easily at small issues specially when they're stressed,the book reminded over the moral issues that parents has to be of great consideration.great work...
This is the best comprehensive book on parenting that I have read to date. I recommend it all the time. As a counselor and mother of five grown children, I believe in the principles that Tim Kimmel espouses - because they are Biblical. As a parent my first desire is that my children grow to know and love the Lord. Only by recognizing how desperately I need the Lord's grace daily can I hope to offer it to my children daily. By doing so in an authentic manner, my children were eventually able to see that their father and I were on their side. As they floundered along their own meandering paths drenched in the love and grace of their perfect Father they came to see Him as the life-giving, trustworthy Lord that He is.
Sadly Dr. Kimmel creates his own legalistic approach to parenting where if you raise your children any other way, or in certain ways, you are legalistic and not showing grace to your children. My favorite example of this is his reaction to scheduled feeding. I understand that there are methods out there that advocate strict schedules, which are not healthy, but Dr. Kimmel wants to throw the baby out with the bath water.Also, I fail to understand how anyone would advocate such loose boundaries as he does for their teenagers in a culture where more and more teens are getting pregnant and engaging in any number of harmful activities that will affect them for the rest of their lives. To say nothing of the spiritual impact such actions have. Call me legalistic for setting stricter boundaries for my children, I don't care. Child development specialists know that setting the bar of expectations high does not discourage children, it makes the level of failure that much less destructive when it comes to behavior. This is not earning brownie points, it is putting forth effort toward habits that will be more productive spiritually, emotionally, and physically.His is a perspective only, and one should read this with the knowledge that Dr. Kimmel is reacting to his own "legalistic" upbringing, not necessarily writing from a theological perspective as he suggests. One would be better served by reading such Christian authors as Dr. Sears or Dr. Dobson, or anyone else who actually has a background in childhood development, but is not overly influenced by a permissive culture or their own childhood baggage.This is not grace, it is symbolism over substance--righteousness without holiness.