The Fantasy Fallacy: Exposing the Deeper Meaning Behind Sexual Thoughts  -     By: Shannon Ethridge
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The Fantasy Fallacy: Exposing the Deeper Meaning Behind Sexual Thoughts

Thomas Nelson / 2012 / Paperback

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For years, best-selling author and speaker Shannon Ethridge has counseled women and men on the complexities of marriage and sexuality. During that time she's noticed that most people either fall into one of two camps when it comes to sexual fantasies. They either beat themselves up for every sexual thought they have, heaping guilt and shame upon themselves, or they have gone to the other extreme, following their thoughts and acting out on their desires to unfortunate consequences. Ethridge believes a balance can be found between these two extremes.
In The Fantasy Fallacy, she takes a closer look at the role of sexual fantasy in our hearts and minds, to show what can be learned from these powerful thoughts. Rather than running from them, or ignoring them, there is truth to be found about ourselves and our relationships hiding under the surface. By discovering the meaning behind the lie that your fantasies present, you can face your fears, heal your heart from past wounds, and find spiritual and physical freedom.

Product Information

Format: Paperback
Number of Pages: 224
Vendor: Thomas Nelson
Publication Date: 2012
Dimensions: 8.38 X 5.50 (inches)
ISBN: 0849964695
ISBN-13: 9780849964695
Availability: In Stock

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Publisher's Description

Erotica has invaded more than our minds – it has exploded onto our bestseller lists and into our bedrooms.

Many are looking to sexual and emotional fantasies as avenues to fulfillment.
Our fantasies, however, are not reliable guides into the future—they are actually rocky road maps from our past. Best-selling author Shannon Ethridge theorizes, “Fantasies are simply the brain’s way of trying to heal itself from unresolved tragedies and traumas. We mentally compartmentalize our pain to make room for pleasure.”

Fantasies have deep psychological roots, and if acted on many of them can do deep psychological damage. Rather than let fantasies rule us, let’s take out the sting and bring them under God’s rule, allowing the Lord to heal us from the brokenness and insecurities that cause inappropriate fantasies to haunt us.

Without being judgmental or condemning, Shannon helps us dissect several common and often-disturbing topics, such as:

• a distorted fascination with pornography
• the mental pursuit of multiple partners
• the lure of gay and lesbian desires
• bondage, domination, and sadomasochism (BDSM)

With tips for controlling unwanted fantasies and resources for providing a safe haven for recovery, The Fantasy Fallacy helps us recognize and heal our emotional pain and equips us to help others do the same.

Author Bio

Shannon Ethridge is a best-selling author, speaker, and certified life coach with a master’s degree in counseling/human relations from Liberty University. She has spoken to college students and adults since 1989 and is the author of 21 books, including the million-copy best-selling Every Woman's Battle series. She is a frequent guest on TV and radio programs and mentors aspiring writers and speakers through her BLAST Program. Twitter: @ShannonEthridge Facebook: shannonethridgefan

Steve Arterburn is host of New Life Live!, a radio and television program distributed across the country. He is a best-selling author with more than eight million books in print. He is also founder of Women of Faith®, a conference attended by more than four million women since its inception. Steve also serves as the teaching pastor of Heartland Church in Indianapolis, Indiana.

Author Bio

Shannon Ethridge is a best-selling author, speaker, and certified life coach with a master's degree in counseling/human relations from Liberty University. She has spoken to college students and adults since 1989 and is the author of 19 books, including the million-copy best-selling series, Every Woman's Battle. She is a frequent guest on TV and radio programs and mentors aspiring writers and speakers through her BLAST program (Building Leaders, Authors, Speakers & Teachers).

Product Reviews

4.8 Stars Out Of 5
4.8 out of 5
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(4.8 out of 5)
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(5 out of 5)
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  1. Robert Samuels
    Age: 45-54
    Gender: male
    5 Stars Out Of 5
    Great Information
    December 17, 2012
    Robert Samuels
    Age: 45-54
    Gender: male
    Quality: 5
    Value: 5
    Meets Expectations: 5
    This book gave me a great deal of insight into how people try to resolve pain and unresolve issues in theri lives.
  2. Amanda
    Age: 25-34
    Gender: female
    5 Stars Out Of 5
    The Fantasy Fallacy
    December 8, 2012
    Amanda
    Age: 25-34
    Gender: female
    Quality: 5
    Value: 5
    Meets Expectations: 5
    The Fantasy Fallacy

    This book was available just in time. I had been besieged with offers to read the Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy, even by women I know in the church. My resolve to avoid it was beginning to crumble. I knew that I would be opening a door to temptation I would be hard pressed to shut, but I was thinking that perhaps I was being too legalistic. After all, not everyone who drinks becomes an alcoholic. And, isn't the Song of Solomon pretty racy, too? Well, Shannon Ethridge has written a glorious and freeing book tackling a sensitive subject, our sexual fantasies, with honesty and biblical perspective. She is non-judgmental and keenly insightful. How exhilarating to have a Christian woman explain that, yes, we can be holy and horny at the same time! I've only ever wondered that. No one has really stated it so bluntly. Normally, a Christian book about sex skirts around the tough issues, allegorizing things away, and leaves the reader feeling like they don't quite measure up to God's expectations of us in the bedroom. Finally, someone lets us know that we aren't alone_or nasty_.or a disappointment to God. That we can control our fantasies and release the guilt. That our fantasies have roots in our fallen pasts, unique to each individual. That the church should be a place of refuge, not rejection. This has to be my favorite Booksneeze offering to date. Thank you so much, Shannon, for being a wise and accessible woman. I think I'll stick to my plan of avoiding the books_.not because I need to look down my nose at them, but because I know myself well enough to know that I don't need to put my hand in the lion's mouth to experience God's deliverance_..

    Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from Thomas Nelson Publishers as part of their BookSneeze.com <http://BookSneeze.com> book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission's 16 CFR, Part 255
  3. nomer15
    Gender: female
    5 Stars Out Of 5
    Much needed book
    December 5, 2012
    nomer15
    Gender: female
    Quality: 5
    Value: 5
    Meets Expectations: 5
    "The Fantasy Fallacy: Exposing the Deeper Meaning Behind Sexual Thoughts" by Shannon Ethridge was written primarily as a response to the "Fifty Shades of Grey" trilogy. However, it goes far beyond being a simple response. Ethridge digs deeply into the uncomfortable world of sexual fantasy. A topic that is generally seen as a taboo subject among Christians is covered in great detail and depth in this book. The book includes nine chapters, covering topics such as why do we even need to talk about sexual fantasies and then delving into what some common fantasies are, and five appendices with great resources for individuals or churches.

    I appreciated that Ethridge was so very real in this book. She talked about her own issues with fantasies. She really took the time to explain common fantasies and helped the reader to explore the deeper meanings behind them. She helps the reader to address their fantasies and channel them in the appropriate, healthy context of marriage.

    This is a book that is long overdue for our sex-absorbed culture. Christians are not immune to the temptations and the pull of fantasies. It's time for the Church to start confronting some of these elephants in the room, and this book is a great starting place for the discussion.

    "At times, we may need to look to the God-given gift of mental fantasy to fuel our sexual passions and imaginations in marriage. Other times, we may need to reel in our thoughts to stay out of dangerous territory. Either way, whether we are intentionally opening our minds or trying to guard them, there are great benefits to peeling back the layers of our sexual thoughts to under their deeper meaning. And once we've done so, we're better equipped to help others do the same." (p. xxvi)

    (I've received this complimentary book from Thomas Nelson Publishing House through the Book Sneeze program in exchange for a review. A positive review was not required and the views expressed in my review are strictly my own.)
  4. Rena Nunley
    North Carolina
    Age: 55-65
    Gender: female
    5 Stars Out Of 5
    Important for our current world!
    December 1, 2012
    Rena Nunley
    North Carolina
    Age: 55-65
    Gender: female
    Quality: 5
    Value: 5
    Meets Expectations: 5
    THE FANTASY FALLACY by Shannon Ethridge is a Christian treatise of sexual fantasies. This is backed by logical sense, Biblical helps and her own experience as a Christian counselor who specializes in this area. Shannon also gives real-life examples of some who have struggled or are struggling with these chains.

    The angles and areas that are covered seem to be all-encompassing...and then some! The introduction, nine chapters and six appendixes give many details, most of which many of us have never even heard of, much less had experience with. However, considering the world we live in today, they are details which must be confronted and treated if there is to be any solution of or exit from the mental, emotional and spiritual prisons in which so many find themselves. She gives consideration to married and single people as well as to homosexuals. There was some doubt in my mind at first regarding her treatment of the latter but then this is not a treatise of them, per se, but of the fantasy aspect. Interestingly, much more than just fantasies is treated. The root problems of such (which would include past events and experiences), one's attitude and spiritual condition are also considered in depth. Even if the reader does not necessarily directly need this type of help, this sort of information would be invaluable in trying to help those who do.

    I struggled a bit with some of the graphic descriptions but also realized that in order to treat this, one has to use such descriptions. A regular medical doctor uses exact medical language with his patients in order to explain the problem, the solution and what he must do to get there. This is rarely a pretty and pleasant experience but certainly very necessary.

    The positive aspect of hope is the bright light at the end of this dark and enslaving tunnel. But this is only possible because of the Lord, His Word and the solution that is found within. This Shannon accomplishes. This book gives hope to the most dire of cases. And for this reason I recommend it and give it a 5-star.

    (I received this book free from the publisher through the BookSneeze®.com book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission's 16 CFR, Part 255.)
  5. Tracy
    Canada
    Age: 25-34
    Gender: female
    5 Stars Out Of 5
    Great
    November 21, 2012
    Tracy
    Canada
    Age: 25-34
    Gender: female
    Quality: 5
    Value: 5
    Meets Expectations: 5
    I received "The fantasy Fallacy: Exposing the deeper meaning behind sexual thoughts" from Booksneeze for review. When I read that it was a book about why women are going crazy for the 50 shades, and the deeper meanings behind it, I thought that it would be a worthwhile ministry read.

    I was very impressed with the author, there have been a couple of books out that involve Christianity and sex, yet all seem to be more "fluff" than anything overly helpful or insightful. Ethridge went far beyond that, she was willing to get into the "Uncomfortable topics" and give an honest look and insight into the sexual thought process, (I found this more geared towards women, however I'm sure plenty of men could benefit from this book as well!).

    Honestly I think this is a book that our Church leaders need to read, it gives some fantastic insight into women and their thoughts, while being in a Godly "Atmosphere". Ethridge makes good use of Scripture, and keeps the Scripture in context (which I appreciate!).

    All in all, I would say I highly recommend this book, especially for leaders!
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