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4 Days to a Forever Marriage: Choosing Love or Anger

By: Gary Smalley, Norma Smalley

New Leaf Publishing Group / 2011 / Hardcover

5 out of 5 stars (7 Reviews)

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$11.49 (CBD Price)

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Product Description

Learn two powerful choices to solidify and energize your commitment to each other for life! Using insight from relationship experts Gary and Norma Smalley, you can begin living a more intimate and loving relationship in just four days. When you get your relationship in balance, you'll start reaping the benefits of a marriage that honors both God and your spouse. Let God transform your marriage into the safe, loving, and lasting connection it was meant to be! Hardcover.

Product Information

Format: Hardcover
Number of Pages: 144
Vendor: New Leaf Publishing Group
Publication Date: 2011

Dimensions: 9.00 X 6.00 (inches)
ISBN: 0892217081
ISBN-13: 9780892217083
Availability: In Stock

Note from Norma Smalley

"It's our pleasure to assure you, based on our own experience and that of hundreds of other couples we've observed and talked to, that your marriage can get better and better as the years go by"
- Norma Smalley

Endorsements

"Wow! This may be the most practical, step-by-step manual for building a happy marriage that we've ever seen! Gary and Norma have put the cookies on the bottom shelf for every couple who is looking for proven ways to lasting love. With a mountain of experience to stand on, this seasoned couple tells it like it is and their advice is sure to revolutionize your relationship."
--Drs. Les & Leslie Parrott
Authors of Love Talk

"I've said it many times; joy is a choice! Well, Gary and Norma, my "forever" friends, have revealed clearly that love and anger are "choices" as well. So get the book now and choose to read it!"
--Dr. Dennis Swanberg
America's Minister of Encouragement

"Gary and Norma Smalley show you how to secure your marriage using Biblical principles they have practiced for their 40 plus years of marriage. In 4 Days to a Forever Marriage, I found simple steps I will use to love and honor my wife more. It's a great gift for every engaged and married couple."
--Mark Batterson
Lead Pastor of National Community Church

Author Bio

Gary and Norma Smalley have been happily married for more than 40 years. Gary is a well-known conference speaker, best-selling author, and president and founder of Smalley Relationship Center. And for years, Gary has shared anecdotes of Norma (and their relationship!) with audiences across the nation.

Publisher Summary

Key choice for any relationship - love or anger? Which will you choose?

Reveals the physical and psychological impact of managing two key elements of any relationship: love and anger
Effective strategies to enhance, maintain, or even restore your marriage
Filled with over 300 marriage and family tips gleaned from personal experience and hundreds of other successful relationships
Valuable lessons of communication and nurturing relationships with kids and grandkids.

Every relationship is a series of decisions that either strengthen your bonds or tear them apart. Learn two powerful choices to solidify and energize your commitment to each other for life! Using insight from relationship experts Gary and Norma Smalley, you can begin living a more intimate and loving relationship that honors God and each other. In just four days, you can get your relationship in balance and start reaping emotional and spiritual benefits. Let God transform your marriage into the safe, loving, and lasting connection it was meant to be!

Take the 4 Day Challenge Today...

Be in Love...for the rest of your life

You are 4 Days away from:

Laying a firm foundation for your future marriage
Charting the course for an even better marriage
Transforming a marriage that seems to be at the end

Your marriage can be a safe place to love and be loved!

Product Reviews

New Leaf Publishing Group4 Days to a Forever Marriage: Choosing Love or Anger

Overall Rating:ÃÂ

4.7 out of 5

Quality:ÃÂ

5 out of 5

Value:ÃÂ

4.7 out of 5

Meets Expectations:ÃÂ

4.9 out of 5

7 out of 7100%customers would recommend this product to a friend.

7 Learn two powerful choices to solidify and energize your commitment to each other for life! Using insight from relationship experts Gary and Norma Smalley, you can begin living a more intimate and loving relationship in just four days. When you get your relationship in balance, you'll start reaping the benefits of a marriage that honors both God and your spouse. Let God transform your marriage into the safe, loving, and lasting connection it was meant to be! Hardcover.

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4.7 out of 5

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Product Reviews

This review is from4 Days to a Forever Marriage: Choosing Love or Anger.

Overall Rating:ÃÂ

4 out of 5

A lot to benefit from in this great little book!

Date:February 6, 2012

Shaun Tabatt

Top 250 Contributor

Location:Cottage Grove, MN

Age:25-34

Gender:male

Quality:ÃÂ

5 out of 5

Value:ÃÂ

4 out of 5

Meets Expectations:ÃÂ

4 out of 5

After more than fourteen years of marriage, I am keenly aware of how little I knew about relationships and communication on the day my beautiful bride and I walked down the aisle. Nearly a decade and a half later, we are entering the latter part of our thirties. One of the harsh realities that has come to pass during the past few years is that the marriages of several friends and acquaintances have ended in divorce. We grieve for these losses and broken relationships, but we strive not to judge too harshly for it is but by God's grace and a series of key people and books that we have been fortunate enough to celebrate fourteen wedding anniversaries and counting.

Enough about me, let's talk about you. If you were to rate your marriage on a scale of one to ten, where would it fall? A nine, four, negative 3? How would your spouse rate your marriage? Chances are it would not be exactly the same. If we decided to dig a little deeper and have both you and your spouse make a list of the top three factors that contribute to your ratings, we would most likely expose some "growth areas" for your marriage. If we are willing to be honest with ourselves, the reality is that whether our marriage feels like a ten or a negative 3, there is always room to grow and improve our relationship with our spouse. That is precisely what Gary and Norma Smalley intend to help you do in their book 4 Days to a Forever Marriage.

In recent years, it seems that of the writing of marriage books there is no end. With such a wide variety of choices in front of you, it can be difficult to decide where to start. In my opinion, not all marriage books are created equal. It is important to understand who the author is and what he or she is about in order to know whether or not a particular book is right for you. Gary and Norma Smalley are credible authors for a book on marriage. They have been married for forty seven years and have counseled thousands of couples at the Smalley Relationship Center. Whether in their own marriage or in the marriages of those they have counseled, it would be fair to say that they have pretty much seen it all.
4 Days to a Forever Marriage is a tool designed to encourage couples to spend four days working to transform their marriage relationship. The basic concept the book builds upon is that as we interact with our spouse, we can choose to respond in either love or anger. Using that simple choice as the foundation, the book introduces a new relational concept in each chapter. The relational concepts are:

*Day 1: Loving Words and Actions
*Day 2: Communication and Resolving Anger
*Day 3: Affection and Intimacy
*Day 4: Trials and Treasures

The book draws heavily on Gary and Norma's relationship as it has been refined over the course of forty seven years. They share each of their perspectives on a given situation, which I found immensely helpful for a better understanding of how my wife would feel or respond in a similar situation. There are numerous scripture references in each chapter. I would strongly encourage readers to keep a Bible handy as they work through the book in order to maximize their reading experience. At the close of each chapter, there is a "For the Husband" and "For the Wife" section where readers are asked to summarize the principles they have learned in the chapter. Not only will this be valuable for helping each of you to thoroughly learn the concepts introduced in the book, it also presents an opportunity to have an honest discussion with your spouse about how these principles can be applied to your marriage relationship. Once you are finished with the readings for all four days, be sure to make use of the additional reading at the end of the book. I highly recommend the section addressing the different seasons of marriage: engaged couples, newly married couples, married with children, and empty nesters / remarriage. It will also be worthwhile to review a few tidbits they have included from a few of Gary's other books. My favorites were The Smalley "Fighting Rules," A Dozen Ways to Engage Your Spouse, and Romance on a Shredded Shoestring Budget.

Let me bring this review to a close with a bit of self-disclosure. In my reading diet, I tend to be a biblical and theological studies non-fiction reader, so I normally shy away from "marriage" and "relationship" books. I was a bit apprehensive as I began working through 4 Days to a Forever Marriage, but I soon realized that this book was different. Throughout the book, readers will encounter pictures of Gary, Norma, and their extended family. Each chapter is filled with personal commentary from both Gary and Norma making it very personable and accessible. It was almost like the Smalleys were sitting on a couch across from me having a discussion.

Now that I have gone through the book once for my review, I plan on going through it a second time with my wife as I know there is a lot our marriage will benefit from in this great little book. One suggestion for using this book is to work through it with your spouse like I am doing. A few other situations where this book would be of good use is a small group study, marriage retreat, and pastoral / Christian counseling. Let me close by expressing my heartfelt thanks to Gary and Norma Smalley for penning this fine little book. I pray that it would bear much fruit in Christian marriages for years to come.

Disclaimer: This book was provided by New Leaf Publishing Group for review. The reviewer was under no obligation to offer a favorable review.

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This review is from4 Days to a Forever Marriage: Choosing Love or Anger.

Overall Rating:ÃÂ

5 out of 5

Great Relationship Building Material!

Date:January 29, 2012

Pursue and Recover

Age:45-54

Gender:female

Quality:ÃÂ

5 out of 5

Value:ÃÂ

5 out of 5

Meets Expectations:ÃÂ

5 out of 5

Dr. Gary & Norma Smalley 4 Days to a forever Marriage

This book asks the question; would you invest 4 days to transform your relationship? There are four areas covered: 1) The power of loving words and actions 2) Better communication and resolving anger 3) Connections through affection and intimacy and 4) Finding treasures in the trials.
This book focuses on the man and the woman making a choice each day to choose love of anger. The SmalleyÃ¢ÂÂs gives practical suggestions on what the husband can do to understand and improve his relationship (by Gary and the same for the wife by Norma).
This book is very insightful and is structured as a workbook format in areas to allow the couple the opportunity to use it as it is read to apply to ones own life.
Gary and Norma Smalley have been happily married for more than 40 years. Gary is a New York Times bestselling author and speaker, as well as president and founder of Smalley Relationship Center. Together they provide meaningful insights on helping your marriage thrive, even in the tough times.
If you are interested in keeping your marriage growing in a positive direction, this book gives you the
Opportunity to spend 4 days together connecting or reconnecting in key areas of your relationship
Regardless of what stage of marriage you and your spouse are in.

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publisher through the New Leaf Publishing Group Book review program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade CommissionÃ¢ÂÂs 16 CFR, Part 255: Ã¢ÂÂGuides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.Ã¢ÂÂ

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This review is from4 Days to a Forever Marriage: Choosing Love or Anger.

Overall Rating:ÃÂ

5 out of 5

Honest practicality for marriage and life

Date:January 16, 2012

Haelie

Top 500 Contributor

Age:35-44

Gender:female

Quality:ÃÂ

5 out of 5

Value:ÃÂ

5 out of 5

Meets Expectations:ÃÂ

5 out of 5

4 days?

Could it be that easy?

In these days of uncertainty about the state of marriage and even the future of it, believe it or not, many still long to marry and remain married forever. If you don't believe me, check out this quick but enlightening article by History.com titled "Is Marriage History?"

With that in mind, the question still remains: "How is a forever marriage possible anymore?"

Could it be that making a simple yet difficult choice could be the key?

In 4 Days to a forever Marriage: choosing Love or Anger, Dr. Gary Smalley and his wife Norma propose that it is so.

The Smalleys not only have a lasting long-term marriage but also have helped countless other couples do the same. In this small but invaluable book, they have packed in practicality and honesty by letting us into some of the things they have learned together over the years---often the hard way. They do this in a conversational manner primarily so that it feels as if we are sitting in their living room with them gleaning from their years of wisdom as well as mistakes.

In this book, they structure it very simply by walking the reader(s) through four days---yes, only FOUR days---of learning practical ways of choosing love instead of anger in marriage as well as life in general.

Think about it. We truly do have a choice in how we respond in life. Often our own response to good or bad thing others have done or said to us is what determines how strong or weak that relationship grows. Though we truly feel we have the "right" to be angry when we are wronged (as we very well may), we still can choose instead to respond in love rather than wallowing and fuming in anger.

It is a tough concept, I know. Maybe that is why The Smalleys have chosen to give us this lesson in small, digestible bites. Whatever the case, they have done a marvelous job of being so transparent and basically reading my mind and most likely yours as well. True, they are not reading our minds, but that should bring comfort to us all to realize that our lives and struggles and emotions really aren't all that unique to each of us. I find comfort in realizing I am not alone in how I think and instinctively react to situations.

I pray that someday soon my husband and I can read this book together so that our marriage can grow even stronger as a result of learning together and communicating with each other about our journey toward choosing love over anger.

In the meantime, I do highly suggest that you and your spouse (or future spouse) glean from the wisdom, honesty and practicality presented to us by Dr. Gary and Norma Smalley in 4 Days to a forever Marriage.

Disclaimer: I received this book for free from New Leaf Publishing Group. No other compensation was received. The fact that I received a complimentary product does not guarantee a favorable review.

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This review is from4 Days to a Forever Marriage: Choosing Love or Anger.

Overall Rating:ÃÂ

5 out of 5

4 Days to a Forever Marriage !

Date:January 11, 2012

Lisa K

Top 250 Contributor

Location:Ctrl, FL

Age:35-44

Gender:female

Quality:ÃÂ

5 out of 5

Value:ÃÂ

5 out of 5

Meets Expectations:ÃÂ

5 out of 5

"Is it really that simple --- love or anger?

Sure. The secret is in navigating the choices in a way that fosters read and meaningful communication. No time limit or special resources required - this is a solution for everyday marriage, dealing with the messy to the mundane, all with the goal of making sure you get the marriage you want and need.

What Makes this Book Different

*Offers a non-situational approach that can work for any marriage. Seriously - any marriage! Master these two responses and it will help you survive life's crises with your relationship even stronger than before.
*Expertise form years of experience mentoring and counseling thousands of couples with all ranges of challenges - the Smalley's have seen and heard it all.

*Tips from an experienced couple who have survived multiple marriage seasons of their own: courtship, early challenges, raising children, health, ministry and even financial pressures.

*An honest, open presentation from a ministry focused for decades on achieving marital success.

Special Book Features:
* Practical steps for him and for her - with a great mix of helpful biblical wisdom.
* A two-person perspective from Gary and Norma - giving both sides of the issues from their own challenges and the insight that helped them resolve it.
* Directed introspection for you at the end of each chapter - and specialized guidance for every season of marriage.
* Tweet-style insights sprinkled throughout - quick and easy tidbits for your daily inspiration!
* Advice for: finding time to speak with your spouse, romantic ideas for $20 of less, Smalley fighting rules, the power of dreams, and much more!"

4 Days to a Forever Marriage is composed of 4 primary chapters that are each broken down into a section for the husband and for the wife. Also included are reflections and separate questions for each to work through on their own and then to discuss.

Chapter topics include:

*Loving Words and Actions

*Communication and Resolving Anger

"If a husband and wife are going to keep happily together for a lifetime, they simply must learn to give, ask for and receive forgiveness."

"Anger creates distance and distance destroys relationships."

*Affection and Intimacy

"When you and your spouse agree to live in oneness, you're consequently willing to spend more time listening and discussing in order to resolve important issues and so build intimacy."

*Trials and Treasures

Learn and reflect on three principles through tough times.

The Smalley's share candidly about the ups and downs in their 40+ year marriage. I really like the "Smalley Fighting Rules" which could also be called, "How to work out a situation guided by the Holy Spirit with the end result of unity in mind".

My only "issue" with this book is that the pages are too nice to actually be written on. We chose to use a notebook instead to answer our questions.

I admit that I read through this book first before doing it as a study with my husband. So far, we are both enjoying it and will continue on with it.

You can connect with 4 Days to a Forever Marriage by:

Following on Twitter

Finding "Forever Marriage" Tweets throughout the book. Share them online and inspire others to create a "forever marriage" for themselves.

Become part of the Forever Marriage community by adding this hashtag to your tweets from and about the book: #4days2forever.

Visit http://search.twitter.com and enter #4days2forever to meet others reading the book.

Facebook fans of the 4 Days to a Forever Marriage will have access to special features of the book online, get the latest news on the Smalley's 4 Days to a Forever Marriage book specials and events. "Like" 4 Days to a Forever Marriage .