5 Stars Out Of 5
One of my 4 favorite books for singles.
February 19, 2013
This book is geared to single women, not to men, but "deadly dating patterns" is a must read for singles of either gender, so they can avoid those and course-correct.
Most singles are normal people who just need a little help with the dating process to achieve their personal goals.
Many dating books for Christian singles focus on "fixing" the single person, assuming there is so much wrong with them that they are unable to attract another person unless and until they fix themselves first. The glaring error in this mode of thinking is that flawed people find love all the time. No one is perfect.
Dr. Kirschner lays out a 90-day process proven to work, and she offers mentoring on her website for those who find it difficult to work the program on their own. It *is* a lot of work! Part of the plan is the "program of 3" - you have to date 3 men at a time, so you don't focus too much on one person, and wind up compromising on some very important dating deal-breakers.
I would also recommend the following 3 books to supplement the material in this one:
"Why Men Marry Some Women and Not Others" by John T. Molloy. This book is based on the author's polling of over 2,500 women and their fiances, whom he met outside of the marriage license bureau. By asking them how they met, how they decided to get married, etc, he identified many common patterns of behavior that can help you find the right person and get married. It's geared to help women find the right person, but the information is of interest to both genders.
"Love Will Find You" by Kathryn Alice. This book sets out to dispel the myths you tell yourself about why you can't find love. You aren't "left out." You are never too old, too fat, or too poor for love. This book will help singles of either gender bust through limiting beliefs that hold them back from love. Kathryn Alice led a singles group at her church for many years, and led a Crisis Support Team. Her church background is Unity, not evangelical, but her advice is universal. This book will put your fears to rest. I also love that it gives introverts permission to find love on their own terms. If you aren't naturally extroverted, and going out 5 times a week sounds like torture, Kathryn Alice assures you that you will find love just doing the things you normally like to do, because love will find you.
"Let Love In" by Debra Berndt. This book will help you identify beliefs you have about your ability to find love, and find the faith you need to reframe your dating history and move forward to find love. Ms. Berndt emphasizes that most of the time, it will only take a small shift in your thinking and then love shows up. You don't have to completely overhaul your whole personality. You are lovable as you are.