True Love Dates: Your Indispensable Guide to Finding the Love of your Life
I highly recommend this book
I would recommend to book to everyone, and I have. This is a revolutionary book for someone such as myself who has grown up in the culture where I have been taught that dating is not an appropriate way of life. I had unhealthy expectations for how I was to live, and it has hindered my relationships. This book has changed that. It has restructured the way that I live my own life, and how I interact with others. This book covers three types of dating- inward, outward, and upward. It sets a great baseline for healthy relationships in all aspects of life, from friendships to a believer's relationship with God.
In a world with mixed messages, this book works hard to establish healthy standards and expectations. The author has given a solid Christian foundation, using Scripture to address many issues that are frequently skirted around in church.
As a counseling student, I got so much from this book that I will apply in my professional life. It is a must read for men and women who are single or dating.
February 21, 2014
This is an excellent book, letting one not only get a hold of what to look for in a partner, but also how to get to know who you are inside. I would recommend this book to anyone. Already lending it out to friends, single and in relationships!!
January 25, 2014
Helpful to some...
Debra Fileta is a licensed professional counselor who specializes in dating, marriage, and relationship issues. The center of this book is on pursuing dating, but with its focus on developing healthy relationships. In its description, the author "encourages singles not to "kiss dating goodbye" and instead experience a season of dating as a way to find real love." For the bulk of the book, the core focus is on dating and developing a healthy relationship with boundaries. Each chapter is filled with experiences that the author and those she have met have experienced in their lives, as they pursued relationships.
I loved the emphasis of finding out who we, ourselves, are through dating ourselves. The idea behind dating oneself is to get to know who we really are, find out what we want (future; spouse's characteristics; goals), and catching a glimpse of the vision God has placed on our hearts for our lives. However, I wish more emphasis was put into our (individual) relationship with God. "Dating Upward" is a section focused on our relationship with God. This section was saved for later in the book, where it seemed to revolve around the spouse at some points more than others. It is then in chapter 10 where Debra boldly talks about finding a spouse has become the main purpose of many young adults. She begins to delve into the problem with this. While this is true that many search for spouse as though they are their source of purpose, I wish the book better reflected this and was used as an instrument to draw others to Christ in the waiting period and being strengthened in Him. It would of changed the book radically to speak to individuals like me who are single and not dating. I understand this book was meant to go a different direction. I believe the better book would of centered around core advice, not others' experiences.
I wish the book was more Scripture centered, and had more an approach of leaning us closer to Christ--not just in practical approach, but in spirit and mind also. While I did not thoroughly enjoy this book, I still found meaningful points in some of the chapters and advice found in section 4 entitled "Ask The Counselor".
I review for BookSneezeÃÂ®
January 11, 2014
Not just for singles
I picked up this book for review after reading an interesting article by the author in Relevant magazine. I'm not a singleton looking for love. In fact, I'm about to celebrate my twentieth wedding anniversary.
But my marital status doesnÃ¢ÂÂt matter. Although True Love Dates is aimed at singles, I though the advice was relevant for all ages, for anyone who is looking to improve their relationship with a date, fiancÃÂ© or spouseÃ¢ÂÂor even their child. I had a vision for my life in my teens, but marriage and children have taken over. I know who I am, but do I know who I want to be when I no longer have children at home? And do I know who God wants me to be, now and in the future?
The book is in four main sections. The first three look at what Fileta sees as the three main stages of dating: inward, outward and upward.
The first section focuses on who I am, where I come from (and how that can impact relationships), and what I want out of life. As she says:
Ã¢ÂÂIn order to proclaim Ã¢ÂÂI do,Ã¢ÂÂ one has to know and understand Ã¢ÂÂI.Ã¢ÂÂÃ¢ÂÂ
The second section focuses on what to look for in a potential partner (with a focus on the major aspects of character, rather than the external characteristics of looks and money), while the third section focuses on our relationship with God:
Ã¢ÂÂIf you desire marriage, seek God. If you desire singleness, seek God. In the end, if you entrust your heart to him, God will use your desires to lead you in the right direction.Ã¢ÂÂ
The final section of the book is answers to the questions she hears most frequently in her counselling practice. (I especially liked her comments on Ã¢ÂÂbiblical datingÃ¢ÂÂ: that in Bible times, a womanÃ¢ÂÂs spouse was pretty much chosen by her parents, who then paid the groom a dowry consisting of family treasures and a donkey or two. Should we return to Ã¢ÂÂbiblical datingÃ¢ÂÂ? I think not.)
I like the fact that Fileta is writing from the point of view of a Christian who lives in the real world. I've read Christian self-help books in the past that have been off-putting because the author has written from a Christian bubble where everything is rosy and no one ever has an unkind or impure thought. I find those books impossible to relate to (or recommend), as I live in a world full of sin where I constantly make mistakes (and so do those around me). It was refreshing to see dating examined in a way that is relevant and relatable. Recommended.
Thanks to Zondervan and NetGalley for providing a free ebook for review.
December 20, 2013