For about a month or so I had been hearing some really good things about this book called Date Your Wife written by Justin Buzzard. So, when I had the chance to review it I jumped right on it. The book itself is not a very difficult read by any stretch of the imagination. There are times it can be quite difficult for me to read, and with this book I read it in a matter of several hours.
Over the last several years I have read a handful of different books on the topic of marriage. This book is not one of my favorites, but I also don't have any ill will towards its. For me the title of the book came across as a bit deceiving. I also had a hard time with the way he tried to force Genesis 2:15 as a full out mandate for men to take care of My wife at times has called me highlighter happy and with this book I did not make my first markings until page 32, and then from there they were slightly sporadic. While I appreciate his candor in telling us that the problems in our marriages begin with us as men. The mantra he says of the book is this "_if you want to change the marriage, change the man." (pg 39)
He also breaks the book up into four different parts the good, the bad, the new, and the perfect. At the end of each chapter he has a section he calls Take Action where he tries to ask you penetrating questions or give you some things to do. One of the best things he did was from page 105 to about 108 was layout or show you in writing what it looks like to try and get time with your wife and how to setup your own "Air War" his terms not mine. The best thing you can come away from this book with is to be proactive in pursing your wife.
Would I run to every man on the street and tell him to read this book, maybe. Are there some men who need this book more than others? In my opinion yes. Buzzard, does a good job in making sure that he tells his readers that where you are screwing up is because its what you have tried to do in your own power. However, there is hope and it comes through Jesus Christ and what he has done for the world.
I was given a copy of this book in exchange for my honest opinion from Crossway Publishers. I did not have to give a favorable review and the thoughts expressed in this review are my own.
I remember when my wife and I got married five and a half years ago that we got many gifts from family and friends, but the one gift that meant the most to us wasn't something we would use for cooking or furniture or anything else. Instead the gift that meant the most to us was words written on a card given to us by an older married couple from one of my wife's relatives. On the card with words directed towards me it said, "Dave find Sarah in the kitchen or around the house and give her a hug and a kiss." While that advice may be simple the point behind what this relative was saying was something I have learned through being married: my wife loves it when I seek her out and pursue her (especially spontaneously). As I read Date Your Wife, I followed Pastor Buzzard's advice and decided whether it's an evening out or a day in, I was going to be more intentional to date my wife and pursue her.
My first date with my wife was a day out on the town in Seattle, Washington. That day (over six years ago) we walked around the waterfront, went to Pike Place Market and then walked around downtown Seattle. I was already in love with my now wife Sarah, but that day cemented in my mind that I was going to marry my wife. Since I already knew where I was going to propose to my wife, I took my wife back to the place of our first date and then asked her to be my wife on one of the Piers on the waterfront in downtown Seattle. Thankfully she said, "Yes" and we got married February 18th, 2007. Marrying my wife Sarah has been the best decision of my life as she is truly my best friend and the greatest gift outside of my salvation that God has given me.
Date Your Wife by Pastor Justin Buzzard is a biblical theology of marriage. The book has four sections: The good, the bad, the new, and the perfect all tracing the story of Scripture. The focus of this book is on men taking responsibility for loving their wives because of all Christ has done for them in His death, burial and resurrection. Justin like any good Pastor seeks to help men understand not only their responsibility as husbands but also how the Gospel provides the solution to their sin and empowers them through the work of the Holy Spirit to be godly husbands and witnesses for Jesus Christ.
I recommend every man read Date Your Wife. In fact, I believe that Date Your Wife will help men revitalize okay marriages, good marriages and great marriages by helping them see where they need to not only improve but also better pursue and love their wives by the grace of God. Whether you are newly married or have been married for fifty or sixty years, every man needs to read Date Your Wife to not just understand what the Bible teaches on marriage but how we as Christian men are to love our wives as "Christ loved the Church and gave himself up for her" (Ephesians 5:25).
Title: Date Your Wife
Author: Justin Buzzard
Publisher: Crossway (2012)
Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publisher through the 10 Publishing book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission's 16 CFR, Part 255 : "Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising."