Aging and dying is an unknown journey for most of us. We bring to it both skills we dont know we have and presumptions that dont work. Whether we find ourselves in this predicament suddenly or gradually, most of us are unsure of how to respond. Deane shows us how we can be more confident and more effective in caring for aging parents living at home, dealing especially well with the feelings that arise for both the caregiver and elder, adapting to the realities of the situation, and communicating.I found the book helpful in verifying what I was seeing but unsure of, in finding more patience, and in cooperating with my siblings in setting the right goals in supporting the process of gradually finishing a life our fathers job at this time. An invaluable piece of advice: Dont Argue with Feelings heads a section in the chapter entitled You Cant Fix Old Age. The next chapter, The Skills of Active Loving, provides assistance with communication and behavior issues in a Christian context.Deane lists and provides simple explanations for the stages of processes, decisions that need to be made, concepts and so on; making such things easy to understand and apply. One particularly helpful section is called Putting Your House in Order which contains lists of records to be located and actions to be taken in managing money before a crisis arises. I made such a list for myself to share with my children.Much of the material on costs and services needs updating. The costs of care, the legal rules, and the social context have changed somewhat over the intervening years. However, even there, the basic questions raised are the right ones. The challenge to individuals, professionals, and churches remains. Churches and service-minded Christians could do much to fill the gaps for our elderly and their adult children by becoming educated in care giving, understanding the needs of both members of the parent child equation, and providing useful local information.