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I've Got Your Back: Building Trust and Avoiding Betrayal-Secrets from the Love Lab - eBook
Simon & Schuster / 2012 / ePub
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IN THIS WISE, ACCESSIBLE, AND LONG-AWAITED BOOK, celebrated research psychologist and couples counselor John Gottman plumbs the mysteries of love: Where does it come from? Why does some love last, and why does some fade?
Gottman has spent decades observing the conversational patterns and biorhythms of thousands and thousands of couples in his famous “Love Lab.” Now he applies this research to fundamental questions about trust and betrayal. Doubts are common in relationships. Partners often worry. Can I trust my partner? Am I being betrayed? How do I know for sure? Based on laboratory findings, this book shows readers how to identify signs, behaviors, and attitudes that indicate betrayal—whether sexual or not—and provides strategies for repairing what may seem lost or broken. With a gift for translating complex scientific ideas into insightful and practical advice, Gottman explains how a couple can protect or recover their greatest gift—their love for one another.
John Gottman has written numerous academic articles and is the author or coauthor of forty books, including the bestselling The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work. His breakthrough research on marriage and parenting that has earned him numerous major awards, including four National Institute of Mental Health Research Scientist Awards. Currently a professor emeritus of psychology at the University of Washington, Gottman lives on Orcas Island, Washington.
"In an easy-to-understand format full of anecdotes, imaginary dialogues, and analogies to game theory, Gottman explains lack of trust in a relationship … The practical tools to evaluate current relationships and step-by-step methods for avoiding betrayal, repairing relationships heading toward crisis, or healing a relationship after a crisis will be useful to couples who want to look honestly at healing chronic hurts and improving the state of their relationship, and are ready for a system to help them."—Publishers Weekly
"Instructional and enlightening..."—Kirkus Reviews
"In What Makes Love Last? (Simon & Schuster), John Gottman and Nan Silver address a broad spectrum of betrayals beyond bed hopping and backstabbing, from emotional cheating to absenteeism. For couples who are ready to heal (and open to having sex), they offer methods meant to help the brokenhearted and distrustful evaluate the current state of their marriage, pull a damaged relationship out of the fire, and, one hopes, preempt future bad behavior."
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