"By the time you're finished with this book_you'll not only recognize love for all that it is, but break through the fog of your relationships into the light of an amazing new day for you and for those you love the most."
Thus ends the introduction to Dr. Tim Clinton and Pat Springle's new book, Break Through: When to Give In, How to Push Back. A lofty promise indeed, but one upon which Clinton and Springle deliver.
In the book, the authors give insight into unhealthy relationships, such as codependency and abusive relationships. Why does a wife make excuses for an alcoholic husband? Why does a father continue to bail out a deadbeat daughter? The answer may surprise you.
Using biblical insight and real-life examples, Clinton and Springle offer clear explanations for the real causes of unhealthy relationships and a clear path to forming healthy relationships. Each of the easily digestible chapters ends with a series of questions designed to make us think about our own relationships. The book also includes a guide for groups and classes who are looking to make the most of the book's teaching.
To say that I found this book enlightening would be an understatement. It has caused me to think about my own relationships - both healthy and unhealthy - and to start to address the areas of concern. I found the writing to be very easy to read, the print perfect for my lately very tired eyes, and on top of that I love the feel of the book jacket - very soft and nice to hold.
Whether you recognize unhealthy relationships in your life or not, I highly recommend this book. You and your relationships will be changed for the better by reading it.
Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from Handlebar Marketing. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission's 16 CFR, Part 255: "Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising."
Often our relationships are controlled by our misconceptions of what love is. We dominate or cower in the name of love, but the very nature of this love is destructive and unhealthy. When we allow ourselves to be enmeshed we rob ourselves and the object of our devotion of a healthy relationship and the joy and happiness that true love brings. This unhealthy dependency usually masks feelings of resentment, anger and eventually hate.
But we can break through this destructive pattern and discovery what a healthy relationship is. We need to realize our true worth - that God wants more for us than to be trapped in an abusive relationship. We need to learn to step back and see where we are heading. Until we can see clearly the path of destruction we are on we cannot heal.
We cannot fix other people, they have to face the consequences of their own actions. We cannot take on their consequences and expect them to ever be responsible. Nor should we expect someone to always be there to get us out of every little situation we find our self in. Throughout the world there are emotional twelve year-olds walking around in adult bodies seeking and craving attention, affection, and affirmation from irresponsible and untrustworthy people.
When our relationships aren't what we expect them to be we feel broken and empty, so we attempt to fill the hole in our life with unhealthy relationships. We seek to fill an inner longing with one unhealthy relationship after another, but we must break the pattern we are stuck in.
Do you want to break-free and experience a true relationship - one that is not codependent on others? You can change, but the change is gradual. You cannot expect an overnight instantaneous transformation. God is willing and able to help you, you need to listen to the His call. What we refer to as a crisis is often God's attempt to wake us up.
True love is defined in First Corinthians 13. Love is unselfish, caring, forgiving and when you look to Jesus you see true love lived out. When we experience God's love we have hope and God is our center and the past has no claim on our today or our tomorrow.
We must dig deep to to work our way back up. Trials come but they are a tool to deepen our trust in God and to serve as an example of encouragement to others who are on their own journey to freedom from unhealthy and addictive codependency. Break Through is your guide to breaking free so that you can make healthy relationship decisions.
I received a copy of this title from the publisher Worthy Publishing for the purpose this review. A favorable review was not required.
Are you struggling with an abusive, controlling, or just plain unhealthy relationship? This book is all about having healthy relationships with people and when to give "tough" love and when to "give in". It's filled with practical advice, stories and thoughts on the correct way to handle relationships and love those around us. It's from a Christian perspective and would be gold for a person dealing with one or more dysfunctional relationships.
Even though I, thankfully, don't have to deal with any of these issues, I still enjoyed the book. It wasn't too clinical or boring and was filled with stories to break up the advice being given. Definitely a book I would recommend if you are struggling with a relationship gone wrong.
I received this book free of charge from Handlebar Marketing in exchange for my honest review.
None of us grew up in a perfect family or have a perfect work environment. We all carry relational wounds and face unhealthy relationships.
Clinton and Springle want to help us break through the fog of our relationship problems. We "need a breakthrough - a flash of insight and a dose of courage to take action and change the status quo. And that's what this book will give you." (4)
"The driving hope of every human heart is to be connected to someone, to give and receive authentic love..." (94) We struggle so much "because at our core all people on the planet fear rejection." (94)
There is hope. "In the gospel of Christ, God offers the attachments for which the human heart longs..." (102) We were made for God and we will never find happiness or an answer to our divine discontent and emptiness until we reconnect with the God who made us.
The authors look at the life of Jesus as an example of right relationship. "He shrewdly observed people; he spoke the truth no matter how people might react; he offered relationship without manipulation." (174)
The authors help us become aware of our patterns of mistrust, understand the scope of responsibility (heroes, turtles, field marshals), how to speak the truth (confrontation), how to take steps to resolve the damage of injustice (forgiveness), and how to step back and get a clearer view.
Throughout the book we are encouraged to seek the help of others, be it a friend, a small group, or a counselor. We need God's Word, God's people, and God's Holy Spirit. Change will not happen over night. And sometimes it might get worse before it gets better.
They finally remind us that life can be different. But half measures won't do. There must be conviction. Progress is like a long hike. There will be steep and difficult times. But with confidence that God holds tomorrow, there will be a breakthrough.
There are questions at the end of each chapter to think about. There are also suggestions for group use at the end of the book.
Food for thought: "The past isn't the past if it is still affecting the present." (115)
This book is full of great encouragement for people needing to break through a difficult relationship. The authors give several examples of people who took the steps outlined. Some turn out well while others have seen their efforts thwarted, a reminder that we cannot control the actions of others.
As is often the case with books like this one, I think it would best be read with a friend or in a group setting. There is much to discuss and others will help maintain accountability with the difficult actions.
I received a complimentary copy of this book from the publisher through Handlebar Marketing
This is a book about learning how to handle a relationship that is not good for you. Being able to protect yourself is important and the authors in this book have some great advice on ways to do that. Learning to not make excuses for those around us that are displaying irresponsible behavior is the most important principle taught in this book. Once you stop making excuses you accept their behavior and learn how to either live with it or walk away from them.
I think everyone will learn something while reading this book. Whether you need help in drawing some boundaries or just want to make sure your reactions are normal, this book has some great suggestions. I enjoyed the personal touch of the authors. You can tell the book was written to help, as the writing is not judgmental at all.
If you are having any difficulties in a relationship and are feeling like you are making excuses for the other person's actions, you can benefit from this book. I gave this book a 4/5 stars because although most of the book had helpful information, some of it seemed repetitive.
I would like to thank NetGalley and the publisher for the copy of this book I enjoyed reading. I gave an honest review based on my opinion of what I read.