You Never Stop Being a Parent: Thriving in Relationship with Your Adult Children  -     By: Elyse M. Fitzpatrick, Jim Newheiser
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You Never Stop Being a Parent: Thriving in Relationship with Your Adult Children

P & R Publishing / 2010 / Paperback

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Parents often assume that their job as a parent is complete when their children reach adulthood. If you have a child who has returned home to live, you've discovered that's not true. Even if your adult child has successfully launched into adulthood, you continue to be a parent to them. In You Never Stop Being a Parent, Jim Newheiser and Elyse Fitzpatrick ground you in guidance from God's Word and remind you that your relationship with your adult child can only be as deep and meaningful as your relationship with God. Paperback.

Product Information

Format: Paperback
Vendor: P & R Publishing
Publication Date: 2010
Dimensions: 8.50 X 5.38 (inches)
ISBN: 1596381744
ISBN-13: 9781596381742
Availability: In Stock

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Publisher's Description

Are your parenting responsibilities continuing into your children’s adulthood? Here you’ll be grounded in the guidance of God’s Word and reminded that your relationship with your adult children hinges on your relationship with God.

Author Bio

Elyse Fitzpatrick counsels with the Institute for Biblical Counseling and Discipleship and is a frequent retreat and conference speaker. Fitzpatrick coauthored Women Helping Women, a 1998 Gold Medallion finalist; Love to Eat, Hate to Eat; Overcoming Fear, Worry, and Anxiety; and Uncommon Vessels: A Program for Developing Godly Eating Habits. She and her husband, Philip, have three adult children and two grandchildren. Jim Newheiser is pastor of Grace Bible Church in Escondido, California; director of the Institute for Biblical Counseling and Discipleship; lecturer in practical theology at Westminster Seminary California; a fellow of the Association of Certified Biblical Counselors; and a board member of the Fellowship of Independent Reformed Evangelicals.

Endorsements

"The answers it gives are not only doable, but richly gospel centered and filled with hope. This is a book I will buy in bulk and recommend to many."
—Tedd Tripp

"Perfect timing. Just as the questions from parents with adult children start streaming in, we have solid, biblical material to put in their hands. And the book is packed."
—Ed Welch

Publisher Summary

Parenting books typically take you to a point where you can ‘launch’ your children successfully into the world. But you never really stop being a parent! Jim and Elysse show you how to be the best parent you can be to your adult child.

Author Bios

Elyse Fitzpatrick counsels with the Institute for Biblical Counseling and Discipleship. She is a frequent retreat and conference speaker. She co-authored Women Helping Women, a 1998 Gold Medallion finalist and has also written many other books.

Jim Newheiser is a pastor, a counselor, and director at The Institute for Biblical Counseling and Discipleship (IBCD) in San Diego, California.

Editorial Reviews

Fitzpatrick and Jim Newheiser have joined forces to address an issue that continues to escalate inside and outside of the church and is quickly becoming one of the most prevalent conflicts in our culture today. This question of how parents should relate to their adult children who too often have an entitlement mindset, while at the same time refusing to take the hard and sacrificial steps to become an independently functioning adult, has become a minefield of potential conflict. So how do you cut the apron strings? What does love demand? What does God expect? And how can parents sort through the turmoil of knowing when, where, how much, and how long to help? The authors wisely and humbly guide us through some of the biggest struggles, basing their answers on biblical principles, as well as personal experience gained from their own lives and the hours they’ve spent counseling others. This book doesn’t give pat, easy answers, but it does offer hope and practical steps for how to please God that are buoyed with grace and humility. As a parent of five children who are now making their own transition into adulthood I was convicted, encouraged, and strengthened to do better. I’ll be turning to this book again and again, and passing it on to others who are looking for godly counsel as they walk through what can be a confusing season of how to relate to young adults who are no longer children, but will always be your child.
I never speak on the topic of raising children without facing the inevitable questions about how to respond to adult children who are struggling with the transition between being a child and an adult. You Never Stop Being A Parent, answers the most frequently asked questions with biblical clarity, wisdom and insight. This book will help parent to think with clarity about the many issues responding to adult children raises. The answers it gives are not only clear and doable, but richly gospel centered and filled with hope. This is a book I will buy in bulk and recommend to many.
“Fitzpatrick and Newheiser have given the church a crucial gift, a book full of practical wisdom for parenting our adult children. The need for this book is great. I can’t wait to stock it in our church bookstore.”
Perfect timing. Just as the questions from parents with adult children start streaming in, we have solid, biblical material to put in their hands. And the book is packed. No sooner did I think, "but what about ____" and the next illustration set me off on a wise course. Thank you.
"Wise, compassionate, much-needed counsel for parents of adult (or nearly adult) children. Jim and Elyse clearly present the responsibilities of life-long biblical parenting solidly within the context of God's absolute sovereignty. I'm not aware of another book like it on the market today and highly recommend it to all who truly desire to rightly influence their children all the days of their lives."
Elyse Fitzpatrick and Jim Newheiser have written a very practical book based on biblical principles to help parents of adult children. The style is engaging and the advice very wise. I wish that I had had this book years ago before our oldest child got married! Martha Peace, Biblical Counselor and Author of The Excellent Wife
Jim Newheiser and Elyse Fitzpatrick have given the body of Christ an excellent treasure in You Never Stop Being a Parent. There is no other Christian book quite like it. With a solid biblical background guiding the principles they share; with practical wisdom from many years of their own in-home and now out-of-home parenting; and with direct but sensitive admonishment for those parents who are struggling to build lasting, godly relationships with their adult children, these two parent counselors have provided us with a great deal of valuable assistance. I for one should know: my wife Beth and I have been blessed with eight children, seven of them now teenagers or above. The two oldest Quinn kids are now adult children who are currently living away from our home, which means there are also six who will soon follow. This book therefore couldn’t come at a better time for us! I can now glean the wisdom from this book for use with both our older adult children, as well as better prepare for the others who will one day join them in creating our empty nest. My many thanks to Jim and Elyse in counseling us with what lies dead ahead. So whether as parents of older adult children you are either frustrated or fulfilled, may this helpful volume bring you much encouragement. It sure did for me. I’ve realized something now more than ever as a parent—I will never stop being one.
This is a wonderful book written for parents who are hurting and want solid biblical answers that speak to the heart. This is not a book on mere parental techniques or behavioral changes. It is a book that takes parents to the foot of the cross and causes them to take an honest look at their own hearts and their parenting. Furthermore it is not a book on parenting theories, it is a book born from years of the real-life parenting and counseling experiences of each of the authors. If you are a struggling parent, I believe this book will bring you refreshing hope in handling your role from a biblical perspective.
"In this must-have book, Jim and Elyse do an amazing job of addressing the major issues parents deal with regarding their adult children (saved and unsaved). Having just finished The Faithful Parent with Martha Peace, I am so pleased to recommend this invaluable book that picks up where we left off. Sometimes these later years can be some of the most challenging for parents but in this book you will find lots of direction, compassion and hope. The reader will quickly catch that the authors are fellow sinners and fellow sufferers who speak to us as brother and sister in the Lord. From this humble perspective, several “hot” issues (courtship, parental authority, in-laws, grandparents, etc) are dealt with biblically with lots of real-life stories and practical applications to help the reader see how the principles are lived out in real life. They stress the area of relationships giving priority to the parent’s own heart and responses and to the marriage bond. As they flesh out what it means to be loving, faithful, courageous and trusting God with children, they continually point us to the person of Christ and all the resources we have as Christians (The Spirit, the Word, the Church, etc). After all this, the appendices at the end of the book again offer important practical helps such as tools for resolving conflicts and sample parent/young adult contracts. This is one book that every parent needs to have and read!"
This book, You Never Stop Being a Parent is a most needed book. I often meet with parents who are seeking direction about how to handle situations where their (what should be at least age wise) adult children have spurned the Christian beliefs and values and standards of their parents. Scripture speaks of the great joy that godly children who walk in the truth bring to their parents (3 John 4). Conversely, Scripture speaks of the intense grief and sadness that ungodly children bring to their parents when they turn from Christ to walk in the ways of the world (Proverbs 10:1; 17:22). If, as God's Word indicates, there is no greater joy for godly parents than the joy of seeing their children walking in and loving the truth, it probably can be rightly said that there is hardly any greater sorrow than the sorrow of seeing their children reject the Christ whom they love with all their hearts. Recently, Carol and I were approached by a sweet and dedicated Christian couple who love Christ more than anything who are going through this valley of sorrow caused by their wayward daughter. Their words to us when seeking a counseling appointment were, "We don't know what to do! Our daughter has turned her back on the Lord and is headed for serious trouble. We want to respond to her in a godly way and do what is the biblical thing, but right now we don't know what that is. She simply won't listen to us. We want to help her, but aren't sure what is the best way to provide that help. Will you meet with us and give us some biblical direction?" This book will be of immense help to them and others like them. Thanks Jim (and Elyse) for giving to us and to needy parents a biblically based book with some solid guidelines for knowing what is the most God honoring way and helpful way to respond as they go through this valley of Baca (Psalm 84:6). May our God use this volume to cause parents in this situation to go from strength to strength and may He use it to make their hearts be the highways to Zion (Psalm 84:5). Wayne Mack, Grace School of Ministry, Pretoria and Capetown, South Africa

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  1. 5 Stars Out Of 5
    July 21, 2010
    Ramona Mom
    Saying that this book was timely for my husband and I hardly does it justice. With 11 children, ages 14 to 23, "You Never Stop Being a Parent" was a godsend. Although we are familiar with the Ultimate Source (the Holy Scriptures), Mr. Newheiser and Mrs. Fitzpatrick have once again written a book which we find rich in practical application of those Scriptures. Subjects such as finances, house rules (and when to change them), and marriage (strengthening your own and preparing for your childrens') are covered thoroughly in this well written book. Ample examples satisfied my own unending what-does-that-look-like-in-real-life questions and a "sample contract for your young adult" will be used and reused in our home over the next few years. The young adults still living in our home would likely say "thank you" to the authors if given the chance, as they are currently reaping the benefits of how this book has taught my husband and I to better implement biblical principles in their lives.
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