Discovering the Mind of a Woman

You can renew the love in your marriage--even reconcile with an estranged wife--if you learn how to understand the way your partner's mind works. Nair, author of Discovering the Heart of a Man, shows you how to relate to a woman's mindset and emotions and offers advice on how to really listen to your significant other.

In Discovering the Mind of Women husbands learn to understand their wives as Christ would. From this point they learn to respond to their wives in a consistent Christlike manner. A radically transformed and renewed marriage is the result.

Drawing from his own story and the stories of husbands whose marriages were dissolving, Ken Nair reveals major problems in life and marriage. After discussing the problems, he reveals relationship altering concepts which not only will revive a marriage, they will radiate throughout couple’s lives as well.

Average Rating:

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Reviewed by Michelle (Lancaster, PA), November 20, 2009

Discovering the Mind of a Woman is one book that needs to quickly become a MUST-READ. Searching the Scriptures to find God's way for marriage and relationships is the key for us in discovering what Christ-likeness really is. Battling our own egos and self serving natures is vital to becoming Christ centered, yet it is the very thing that often keeps us from seeing the truth. Ken Nair's book leads us to this truth, albeit painfully, and offers ways in which to recognize and fight our flesh....a battle well worth the effort! Highly recommended, and have seen our own children win battles over their own flesh as well, by implementing these principles...principles that God Himself has given us to live in freedom.

Reviewed by Dawn (Stafford, VA), June 06, 2008

I am writing part of this in response to Ryan in Denver's review. First Ken NEVER says that a wife's husband is her savior. He talks about how a husband effects his wife's spiritual walk. And about the word ezer (this is the Hebrew word used when God created Eve.) Ezer is used 21 times in the Old Testament. Two are about Eve when he created Eve. The other 19 times are talking about God helping us. Such as Psalm 33:20 "We wait in hope for the Lord; He is our help and our shield. " Now that's not the only way God helps us. If God is using the same word then I think that the help a wife gives is pretty profound. And you won't find that definition on a lexicon. It's from Ancient Hebrew. It's based the what the word pictures meant. For his book, it's the most scriptural book I have read about marriage. It's not the only one that teaches that a husband needs to die to self first, but others I have read lack in scripture. His book (and the study guide you can get from lifepartners.com) are FULL of God's word. If men were taught to do this from the start of becoming Christians or getting married then we as the Church would make such a bigger difference. Our families would be the best testimony to what God can do, how great He is. I feel sorry for men that don't get this. That don't embrace it. This book will cause you to really look at your life as men and as husbands. But in the end you will be the men God made you to be. And that is exciting.

Reviewed by Ryan (Denver, CO), October 21, 2007

Ken Nair’s book, is a good hearted attempt at helping men to improve their marriages. While there are some very good insights into the female viewpoint, Nair has exegetical problems when it comes to explaining Genesis 2:18 and Ephesians 5:23-27. Nair, who does claim to any formal theological training, concludes that God gave Eve to Adam in Genesis 2:18 as a helper to illustrate his character flaws and help him to become more Christ-like. This stems from a lack of exegetical skill on Nair’s part. I can’t find a Hebrew lexicon that defines ezer (helper) as one who reveals character flaws. Second, I don’t find this Hebrew word used in this way any other place in the Hebrew Old Testament. Third, this is a very problematic, anachronistic interpretation that provides a necessary platform for Nair's approach to marriage. Nair’s lack of exegetical skill demonstrates itself again in Ephesians 5:23-27. Nair says, “Paul in Ephesians 5:25-27 emphasizes that if a man will learn how to lay down his life for his wife (as Christ laid down His life for the church), then as Christ in laying down His life for the church presented the church holy, so a husband in laying down his life for his wife will present his wife holy… (Nair, Discovering the Mind of A Woman, page 238)” The problem with this should be obvious to anyone who is familiar with basics of the gospel. Nothing I can do will make my wife holy, only the cleansing of Christ’s blood and the sanctifying influence of the Holy Spirit will make my wife holy. Nair strains the analogy in Ephesians 5:25-27 far beyond what Paul intended and thus unwittingly pits Ephesians 5:25-27 against scriptures like 1 Peter 1:2, 1 Thessalonians 5:23 and Hebrews 9:14 where JESUS is clearly the one who cleanses us, makes us blameless and presents us holy. I think it would have served Ken Nair for someone to remind him that even a really good husband makes a bad savior. I would commend “Love and Respect” instead.

Reviewed by Ron (Charlotte,NC), February 06, 2006

This book has had a profound positive impact on my marriage and on several other men and their marriages. This book is the 2x4 across the head that many of us need.Though our marriage is a work in progress, it is on the right track due to this book.It woke me up.

Reviewed by (Lancaster, PA), February 24, 2002

This is a great book that helps to show men how to treat their wives the way God intended. I think some men have difficulty with it because the responsibility to be the spiritual leader in the home rest on their shoulders!

5 out of 5 stars

Reviewed by Ralph Migliozzi (Grass Valley, CA), November 14, 2001

Unfortunately, this book is being attacked as a "man bashing" book from many in evangelical circles. It saved my marriage of 12 years. I am not considered a "whimp" by any standard, but for some reason, many men in the Christian community find this book threatening. I think their machoism is being challenged. This book is not that controversial, it just asks one question: "Are you willing to die to yourself and be Christ-like?"

5 out of 5 stars

Reviewed by nancy blackwelder (willis texas), May 31, 2001

This book saved our 25 year marriage. I was tired and ready to walk out. When my husband read it, he finally heard and understood all the things I had been trying to tell him for 25 years. If the truth in this book was taught from the pulpits of America, I dare say we would have a drastic decrease in the christian divorce rate. Every man,especially men in christian leadership need to read and apply the principals Ken Nair lays out in this book. Buy one for yourself and your pastor.

5 out of 5 stars

Reviewed by Lonnie Smucker (Portland OR), August 09, 2000

This was a very challenging book. I would recommend it to ANY man. The concepts taught, if applied will change your life. They have mine.

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